Insanity
by Guardian 0 Devil
Summary: OOCness, Insanity and Shameless SelfInsertion of me within this story! Done to poke fun of the characters of Trinity Blood. Long awaited Chapter 18 now uploaded! Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1: Reflections

A/N: I was inspired to write this out by a story named Trinity Blood: The Second Coming, which was written by Dienekes and also under the heavy (humorous) influence of my friend, Passé on an Angel. This is my take on what happened after the epic battle in the last episode of the anime. **Not to be taken seriously.**

Updated on: 17th of March 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 1: Reflections.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Don't ask, figure it out yourself.

**Warning: This is done in Cain's point of view. Insanity is ensured. **

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted. Please don't sue me.

_(At the main base of the Rozen Kruez Orden) _

Stepping out from my recuperation unit, I walk lazily and stand by the window of my chamber, silently reflecting the recent events up till now since my battle with Abel over the skies of Londinium one year ago.

During the battle, Isaak had been the one piloting one of our battleships to destroy Albion as a distraction for the AX members while I went to collect my beloved and wayward brother. It seems that our plan of retrieval had to fall apart as we had underestimated these annoying insects. The battleship was destroyed and Isaak was forced to escape using his 'shadow magic' that had branded him the title "Magus". Meanwhile, I was engaged in an intensive fight with Abel whom I had earlier thought to be in regenerative coma…

_(One year ago, in Londinium)_

I was leisurely taking my own sweet time as I walked towards the little church in which the humans decided to temporarily store my foolish brother in. I'm an immortal after all, having all the time of the world within the grasp of my hands.

Pushing open the large twin doors of the little church, I sense somebody has been here before me. An android clothed as a priest and a red-haired nun kneeling and praying beside the coffin. I vaguely remembered that her name is Esther and apparently she was the recent unhealthy obsession of one of my subordinates, the Puppet Master, Dietrich.

I slowly cat walked my way towards my brother's coffin undeterred by any of the android's attacks. His silver bullets are useless against my energy shield, yet he still keeps shooting. Such a waste of resources which can be used on killing filthy humans. I increased my speed to appear in front of the android and man-handled it across the church, where large cracks and a man-sized imprint can be seen on the walls due to my super strength. Hmph, now it was time to retrieve my dearest sibling. However, just as I came near to touch the coffin lid, Abel _just had to_ choose this time to wake up from his slumber.

I was strangely unsurprised in which Abel came back alive and left the coffin in which he was laid in. It figures that since I can came back alive and breathing from a pile of ashes that I was once reduced to when I fell into the Earth's atmosphere, so why can't Abel be alive when he's only taken a hit by my sound wave to his heart.

What really made my heart arches and filled my mind with appreciation was the beautiful dramatic entrance he made. A huge whirlwind of rich ruby red blood spiral out from the coffin. The freshly picked red roses which accompanied his coffin tore through the air and lashed menacingly around the church with the lingering sweet aroma of rose petals and blood. Then the whirlwind of blood slowly gathered into a shape and revealed my brother's lovely true form.

Ahhh… looks like he had unhesitant released to his full potential. This was perhaps the first time I have seen him up close at 100 Crusnik form; Abel had turned into a humanoid creature with dark skin, a pair of black bat-like wings and blue intricate markings cover his entire body that seems to glow and move with a life of its own. He looked just like a fallen angel standing tall amongst the angels on the stained glass that depicted his background. What's even better was that his horrible priest clothes in which he was required to wear to work when he was in AX were dissolved at the moment he spiral out of his resting place leaving him in his naked glory. Ohhh… This was such a pleasing and appetizing sight for my eyes… Excuse me as I secretly wiped off my drool, I can't afford to look like a hormone-raging teenage.

His ruby eyes stared at me with an arrogant invitation to fight as he met mine. Then, he vanished from my sight as he broke through the stained glass of the church to reach the skies of Londinium. I smirked proudly at this change of events; it could never have gone better. I activated my Crusnik powers and grow 2 pairs of white wings as my eyes become the same shiny red like my brother. I heard a loud gasp coming from the red-haired girl who is protected by that android. What a pair of nuisances to disturb this wonderful moment of glory. Mental note: Wipe them off the Earth sooner than the rest.

I fluttered my wings and easily lifted off the ground to join my Abel in the skies over Londonium. There was a bright full moon as the weather forecast had announced earlier in the day which was sadly covered by the clouds on this memorable night. The night sky looks even more refreshing inviting and romantic with Abel by my side. I was taking with great care over my appearance for my twin brother, Abel, who was just nice facing at the opposite of me. Raising my left hand to my chin and crossing my right arm over my waist, my pose was executed handsomely. I swear that my lovely little brother was checking me out head to toe over my trademark pose. How sweet of him to do that.

However, the short sweet moment was disrupted as Abel sneered and with a flap of his bat-like wing, strong surges of blue electricity surround him and with a gentle lift of his right hand, he called upon his weapon: a doubled-bladed blood scythe, the Scythe of Death. In which Abel was famously known as God of Death during the days of the Holy War.

Wait a minute; I thought I saw another pair of wings with a crown full of black feathers just below his bat-like wings. Since when does he use his 2 pairs of wings for flight or fight? Then again, he always does have a touch of drama for crucial moments and... It heightens his beautiful glory of nakedness.

Shaking my head amusingly, I lifted my left hand and too called upon my weapon to satisfied Abel's urge to play: a black lance with silver rune carvings materializes in my left hand which was ironically named the Spear of Destiny.

Back in the days of Holy War, people around me always wondered why it was named as it was. The reason: Lance of Destiny sounds far too girly for my taste. Besides that, I was more famously known as the God of Judgment and I need to at least maintain a manly impression. Therefore, I carry the Spear of Destiny in my left hand and mete out punishments to wrong-doers that dared reached out to fight against me by impaling these "infidels" to death. Yes, definitely my weapon deserves the elegant usage of the word 'impale'. Any other words were too crude for my taste to describe my state-of-the-art weapon. Take for example the word 'stab', which led to 'stabbing my enemies to death.' I just don't like the way it described my actions. Don't take it in the wrong way. I was a very fair judge and uphold justice back then. Take for instance; anyone who is suspected of breaking the law on littering will be given a fair trial and send to jail to serve a minimum of 50 years if proven guilty.

But now was not the time for all that history, it's Play Time: Abel was the first to make a move, discharging a bolt of sparkling blue electricity at me as he moves forward with a brute roar. I easily dodge it and raise my black lance to counter his blood scythe. His bolt of blue power hit a building behind me, sending rubbles falling to ground. As our weapons clashes in the mid-air of Londinium, a large amount of energy was created and bright sparks like fireworks light up the skies while sizzling the air full of ozone. I wrinkled my nose a little at the ozone smell and nonchalantly lift my right hand to discharge a small ball of sound wave towards my brother's chest.

Sensing my attack, Abel jumps backward and uses the other end of his scythe to counter it, while trying to get a critical hit at me. Too easy, I back away with relatively ease as I flapped my wings and hide myself in the clouds. While he was looking for me, I sent a bolt of concentrated red electricity to his back, which also helps clear the clouds in front of me and exposing me into his senses. It nearly hit him head-on but he veered himself off the course as it reached him and flied straight at me, attempting to slice one of my wings off with his scythe.

I backed away and led him to fly higher into the skies where we remain in a stand-still moment as we faced each other again after we 'popped' out from the clouds. Now we both were bathed in the soothing light of the beautiful full moon.

Sadly, time was short for an immortal like me as I can't afford to stay in battle for too long. The longer I stayed in my Crusnik form, I would use up more energy which is greatly required to maintain my body together. This is also why I came all the way down to Londinium to retrieve my beloved brother's body. I needed his DNA to reconstruct a new body of my own. After all, I'm still not fully recovered from my fall into the Earth's atmosphere 900 years ago. Did I ever mention that it was that treacherous Seth who pressured my poor Abel into dropping me out of our spaceship?

Enough of recap, I needed to end this now. I don't want my limbs to fall off during our Play Time; it would be too embarrassing and would definitely tarnish my reputation. With this decision made, I generated a strong bolt of red energy wave and discharged it at Abel, who also countered it simultaneously with an equally strong bolt of blue energy wave. Still, both our attacks don't seem to be decreasing at the moment. In fact, I'm seeing lots of sparkling and cracking huge ball of energy waves in the mid-air. Darn it, now we have a game of 'Let's see who's better at this.'

Ah yes… my beloved brother of mine had grown much stronger over the years. If it is not for that 'negative element Lilith' that had corrupted my sweet brother before her death, Abel will still be standing by my side and together we shall burn this polluted earth clean of those filthy humans…

Opps! I had lost part of my concentration and had gone all out to put more pressure behind my red wave of energy. Now, both our attacks were negated equally and sent us blown backwards with a theatrical sound of **KABOOM**.

Then without warning, Abel sent another strike of his blue electricity at me. I opt to evade the attack, but was not fast enough and one of my pretty wings was getting sliced off as a result. Owie, that's hurt. I felt my left eye twitched and immediately retaliated with a blast of red electricity of my own. I SCORED! Yeah, go me! I managed to slice off one of Abel's wings with my counter-attack. The black feathered one. See how he likes his wings getting sliced off.

This is bad… both of us lost our flight momentum and was rapidly sent spiraling down to the ground. A blast of blue electricity nearly does a direct-hit on my face, which startled me to elude it and leaving a small cut on my right cheek. Seems like Abel still want to play with his beloved big brother, as he continued to throw blast after blast after blast aimed at my face. Which makes me wondered if there was something wrong with my face... There's not enough time to think and so I decided to oblige and sent some blasts of my own electricity at him.

I would forever remembered this 'special moment' when we were falling closer to the ground, about nearly a few storeys high that we simultaneously dragged up our last energy resources to feebly and lazily aimed the final strike at each other. Look at it this way; both of us were trying to successfully hit the other with blasts of electricity throughout our falling down to Earth but never even get in a bull eye at all. It was such an ironical moment in my life and perhaps in Abel's too. Our poorly aimed final strike somehow managed to critical hit the other hard in the chest area, leaving a gaping big hole with blood spilling freely nonetheless. Go figure, talk about careless aiming.

Both of us were seriously wounded and fell hard to the ground at the final strike. I remembered the sharp sear of pain that tore through my wings as the hard unfeeling ground met my descent. Owie! That's hurt even worse than my wing getting sliced off. I even managed to see the infamous stars twirling in front of my eyes. Owie!

Just then, a small ray of my favorite moonlight touches my sight as the moon was finally uncovered by the drifting clouds. Turning my head upwards so as to catch a glimpse of the full moon, I saw something that greatly made the romantic feeling in me expanded real fast. Our feathers, black and white, sticky with our inhuman blood and grimly bathed in the light of the full moon, fluttered gently all over the skies of Londinium. Aww! That's such a romantic sight to behold… and it would be even more perfect if I could have my sweet Abel right now in my arms to watch this scene together…

Following that battle, if it was not with the help of my ever loyal servant and also butler Isaak, I would barely manage to make it back to my recuperation unit to recover. Depressing to said, as Issak disapprovingly commented, my body started to break down after all that 'little fireworks display' in the skies. Issak had to use his 'shadow magic' to help assemble all my body parts which were lying around on the streets of Londinium. It was a messy affair. I vaguely wondered whatever happened to my dear brother as I was gently put, and of course with all my body parts found, into my recuperation unit by Issak before the darkness claims me...

(End of Chapter 1)

A/N: This is my first time writing a fic, so please review and give me your thoughts and criticisms. I would appreciate them very much. Thank you for taking the time to read it. I would also take this opportunity to "advertise" another story (in which I was working as a co-author) called Ongaku Niji, which can be found under the name of Passé on an Angel. It's worth a read to cheer up your day.


	2. Chapter 2: More Reflections

A/N: This is my take on what happened after the epic battle in the last episode of the anime. **Not to be taken seriously.**

Updated on: 18th of March 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 2: More Reflections.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Don't ask, figure it out yourself.

**Warning: This is done in Cain's point of view. Insanity is ensured. **

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted. Please don't sue me.

_(Continue from the previous chapter…)_

After I woke up from my deep slumber, 2 months had passed by rather quickly. From the intelligence reports Issak managed to gather for me when I'm not around, that Dietrich's unhealthy obsession happened to be so conveniently the rightful heir to the throne of Albion and became the youngest queen to ever grace the Earth. This might perhaps work to my advantage…

Bidding my time in the shadows, I plotted to assassinate the young queen of Albion for both political and personal reasons. Politically speaking, a Terran leader being assassinated by a Methuselah would throw the world into more chaos. As for personal reasons for choosing this girl called Esther, was that she resembles Lilith in certain ways and most importantly was that Abel do care for her. No, I'm not jealous of her, not at all. Killing her would definitely make Abel painfully realize his incapability of protecting anyone, just like he had been unable to protect his beloved Lilith. Furthermore, I could crush Abel's will of fighting against me and perhaps persuade him to come back to me. He was after all created to be a destroyer of the world, just like me…

Yet, Dietrich had to throw in his own brand of mischief by informing Abel of my intention, before I can even set it into motion. He appeared personally in front of my sweet, gullible brother and started rambling and talking in riddles of what his most respected Master, which was me of course, was planning to do with Esther when I had captured her in my clutches. Naughty Dietrich, he made me sound like I'm a sadistic, insane pedophile who had a rare taste of red-heads. I mean come on, that Esther girl is way too young for my taste and she would need more than 30 years to ever even achieve the peak of the famed woman maturity. I would even rather choose the seductively and yet also a poetic Issak over her any other day…

Mental note: Better start researching about my own sexuality preference before it's too late. I'm already over 900 years old and I can't always remain an asexual of myself forever.

Well, truthfully speaking, nowadays there were not much of natural red-haired people ever since the Holy War. I believed they were also bordering on the edge of extinction too which was partly my… greatest achievement I would say. I would never admit that it was my 'fault' as Seth always likes to accuse me of, I'm way too perfect to make any mistakes _at all_ on my own.

Back during the days of Holy War, I would secretly pass down commands to my soldiers to eliminate any red-haired person they have discovered within their vicinity. I mean there could be a possibility that Lilith happened to be around and it would greatly benefit for us in the Holy War. Besides that, I even spread out rumors among the filthy humans that red-haired people was a sign of the devil's spawn or something like that. This greatly resulted in the strong prosecution of red-heads back then. Heehee… Anyway, dragging our attention back, my silly and indiscriminately endearing Abel took up the bait and went as far as quitting AX in order to protect _that_ girl and trying to thwart my 'evil' plan. Hmph, it's about high time that he should have leave that stupid organization for making him worn those horrible 'work-clothes'.

Tch… Still the same hotheaded worrywart as he was 900 years ago. One would believe that with growing age, wisdom and experience grow stronger too. Apparently, this does not seem to apply on my beloved and yet foolish sibling. Falling so willingly into the trap I set up for him. Even if he can rescue the girl, he cannot always be there to rescue the others. His inborn nature, just like mine was, was to kill and destroy. We think alike, yet hold different beliefs. I understand him all too well, for after all we _were_ two of a kind…

The assassination was supposed to take place during the intense negotiation of Pope Alessandro, Albion Queen Esther and also the Germanicus King Luther, while Abel was tied down by Dietrich's human puppets. I was standing hidden in the 'shadow path', which was one of Issak's unique abilities, so as to watch my plan unfold and ready to step out and comfort my beloved brother and also watch his priceless face of shock and grief once he reached the scene of the assassinated young queen's body.

However, it did not go as I expected when the Pope Alessandro jumps in front of the young queen in order to protect her from the assault of the assassin which ended in his death. A frown marred my face as I looked on, but I stayed where I was with no intention of revealing my presence to anyone. What a shame that my perfect little plan had to fall through due to this little interruption.

Issak who was by my side and was silent the entire time, lifted his hands intending to call upon his magic to kill the girl. I'm touched he's doing this all in the name of mine. However, I gestured for him to stop as I want to watch how all these new unpredictable elements would result by the end of the day. As expected, Abel finally made his entrance. He was only just in time to kill off the assassin, before the hordes of guards rushed into the room and started attacking him with no questions asked at all. This was a refreshing new development. I was thoroughly amused to see a very wronged and frustrated Abel fighting off those humans bare-handed as he shouted he was innocent.

_HA!_ Innocent? No one is innocent in this world, including me. Not even a baby. Whoever declared that baby is the epitome of innocent? Then please answer my questions: What makes you so sure that the baby is even born innocent? Can't its existence be also damned in the eyes of God at the very start of its life when it's a product of sin and evil? Take for instance: Me, Abel, Seth and even that very dead Lilith. We all were product of those filthy humans in the name of science and the good benefits of humanity. Our existences were never meant to be innocent, for we were created to kill and destroy. No more and no less.

Well, I'm off-topic. Back to Abel, who had successfully 'escaped' from being captured by the unreasonable guards. This was such a rare chance to see Abel getting chased around and tripping over his feet. Heehee… even Issak said Abel looked so curelessly adorable as he wandered about trying not to get caught. Amen to that for the first time in my life, I strongly agreed with Issak that cuteness was incurable for Abel. Heehee… I even managed to take some snapshots of him to use for blackmailing in future…

Nevertheless, the outcome of that 'failed' assassination provokes the wrath and adds fuel to the ambition of Cardinal Francesco to take the title of Pope by force and politics. Through heavy bloodshed and carefully prepared speech to stir up the fears and anger of the Terrans, he rises up as the new Pope and eliminates all of his opposition forces by exile, starting with his half-sister Catherina. I had to admit that human was capable in gaining so much support and taken full control of the Church so quickly in such a short time. Six months later, Francesco staged a war against Albion whom he claims the young queen and the New Human Empire as the main cause of the late Pope's untimely death. What a pleasant surprise in this change of events.

And as Isaak quotes: It is on our failures that we base a new and different and better success, by Havelock Ellis. Well, at least it had achieved our main objective. Still, I would much prefer to see Abel's priceless face of shock and disbelieve. Oh well, another time then.

Taking full advantage of this claim the Vatican launched a war against Albion and the Empire, after secretly preparing for half a year. The balance of the peaceful coexistence between Terrans and Methuselahs which was maintained over hundreds of years finally collapses. That fool plays right into my plan by declaring war on the empire which was governed by my youngest sister. My vision of the day of total annihilation of these filthy humans off this world was getting closer to success.

My new 'toy' started leading the Vatican's main troop to invade the Empire, but was defeated by the stronger, faster, better-trained and better-equipped Empire's troop. Meanwhile, Isaak recruited Catherina to be a member of the Rozen Kruez Orden. Though I had some reservations on recruiting her, she proved herself to be a very capable and cunning leader in her own right. Organizing and leading the animated zombie soldiers, she disguised them as part of Albion's civilian troop, killing off as many humans as they were able to during the confusion of war. The secondary troop sent by Vatican to Albion 'to execute justice and punishment' on Queen Esther was later forced to retreat after facing strong resistance from both the young queen's military and also 'civilian' troop.

I must say that foolish Francesco make quite a good toy to play with. Hmm, I was starting to understand why Dietrich likes to play with puppets, especially living ones. It was such relaxing fun to manipulate and also help cut half of my work done. From the reports I received, just a little well-said hint, strong supportive encouragement and certified evidences of the Lost Technology from the spies planted beside him, he 'unearthed' the forbidden nuclear weapon left behind by his predecessors and latched on it like a dog to its bone. Fraught by his increasing failing endeavor to win the war, Francesco finally decides to use nuclear weapon under the great pressure and demand of his council. Without considering the consequences warned about using it, he flaunts his new-found 'strength from almighty God'. So predictable and yet nonetheless amusing 'toy' to play and watch…

The first nuclear-testing attack was commenced; the result being that the second largest city of the Empire was completely flattened and decimated. Ahh… it was such a wonderful moment to see that part of the filthy human population getting wiped off. Nothing was left from that devastating attack. Regaining his arrogant confidence, the 'toy' went as far as sending word to Albion's capital Londinium, demanding Albion to surrender and hand over their 'convicted' queen without question or else suffer 'The Wrath of God'.

Heehee… this really tickles my mind. _Wrath of God_, ha! He had no idea at all what a God's wrath can do to the world! Meanwhile, Francesco also sent word to the Empire's capital Byzantium and smugly informed Empress Augusta Vradica that their days of 'heretical existence' shall end. So in order to prevent any future nuclear attacks and also to protect 'her precious children', my dearest double-crossing Seth (who was then Empress of the New Human Empire) decided to launch a similar nuclear missile toward Rome to end this war quickly. Nothing made me feel so accomplished like this moment, having manipulated two countries to explode into a large-scale war which would definitely result in a high level and very efficient way of cleaning the filthy humans off the surface of Earth. However, Abel just had to appear out of nowhere and persuaded her not to play right into my hand.

Sigh…He always appear at the worst possible time and foil some of my plans. However, this should be expected as he knows me much too well. As the saying goes that time and tide waits for no man, I had to take matters into my own hands. Making my 'grand entrance' helps to distract my dearest siblings and would strongly secure my plan to work. Hmm…I just said a quote… Isaak must have been rubbing off on me after all these years… heehee…

After receiving the secret intelligence reports of Abel's appearance at the Empire's palace from the spies I have planted there, I decided to make my way into the royal palace of the Empire…

(End of Chapter 2)

A/N: Phew! This is much longer than my previous chapter. Ah har har, I got a review that said it was kinda creepy to read. Sorry if it creeps you people out but I did put up a warning that insanity is ensured.

Thank you for reading this story and I would really appreciate your comments and reviews. So please review!


	3. Chapter 3: Bloody Entrance

A/N: This is my take on what happened after the epic battle in the last episode of the anime. **Not to be taken seriously.**

Updated on: 18th of March 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 3: Bloody Entrance.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Don't ask, figure it out yourself.

**Warning: This is done in Cain's point of view. Insanity is ensured. **

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted. Please don't sue me.

_(At the Entrance of the Royal Palace)_

"You there halt!" Just a simple shout and it alerted the other guards in the vicinity to look my way. Hmm, this could be an interesting way to start off my boring evening. I decided to stay where I was to amuse the "Royal Guards of the Gate" with an arrogant tilt of my head. Some of the guards drew out their weapons in response, but I made no moves to intimidate them just yet. I would eventually have my fun in enjoyment of stepping over their dead bodies.

"And what pray tell can I do for you gentlemen?" I responded with an innocent and harmless look.Oh well, as best as I can pull off. I'm considered a foreigner to them after all.

"These grounds are off-limits to commoners, so I will ask that you simply move to the main gate and return to your home for the evening." The leader of the group somehow managed to keep a firm but friendly tone towards me, thinking nothing of why I'm here other than to glance at my face furtively. Good, at least he's charmed by me and knew how to appreciate. I'm handsome anyway and I'm not being conceited. It's the honest truth.

I lifted a hand and pushed back my nicely brushed hair from obscuring my eyes. Either I need to cut it off or I need to buy some hairclips. Hmm, I wondered if there were any star-shaped ones available? Opps. I have too much things distracting me and I nearly forgot to answer back politely. Oh my, now the pack leader was staring at my face so intently that I believed it was an outrage on my modesty. Wait a minute, he's asking me whether I wanna go out with him tonight after work. How do I knew that? Becuase he's blinking both his eyes rapidly and sending MCM at me. Which also simply stand for Morse Code Messages. I'm flattered but, "I refuse," I simply stated, and was pleased that only the leader shifted uncomfortably in my presence. The others have stated strong hints of packing punches on me. Tch... What a violent bunch that _my_ _sister_ kept as her _guard dogs_.

"If you refuse, I will be forced to escort you with force if necessary," the pack leader replied, and there was a noticeable hardness in the gruff man's voice. Now, he's trying to coerce me in submission to him by force. Hmm, much as I would love to 'play and wrap him around my little finger', but it's too bad that he's not my type and also he would be the first to die. And there's no innuendo I'm implying in the previous statement.

"You may think you can, but I assure you that the most you all will do is fall to the ground in a heap," I drawled my statement out in a manner like a commander would said to a troubled troop of green soldiers. "Your skills are nothing but a waste of time for me, and I am here on very personal business with your Empress anyway." It's true in a sense anyway, so why should I even bother to explain more. Besides, I do need to keep off that pack leader from transforming into a bothering, aggressive, would-be stalker who decided to start 'skirt-chasing' after me. It's not an experience I would want to encounter again; it's very irritating and that's all. _Don't _read into it too much.

While the word was only whispered by the gathering of troops around him, I knew that they were coming to the assumption that I was an assassin meant to kill their most revered Empress. I would not say that was false, but it was not true either. More and more of the guards began to silently forming a circle formation around me to prevent my escape. They were locked in the defense position with their weapons pointing at me. Such a splendid way of welcome, but that's all they really do. No one dared to make a single movement as they were waiting at the beck and call of their pack leader.

However, I'm getting bored with all these pleasantries. In a split second, I blasted off the leader's head. Before the leader's carcass even fall to the ground, I moved quickly onwards to my next target standing nearby. I effortlessly break the neck with my bare hand and threw him onto his fellow guards. There was a sudden shout of alarm as the world came back to rights and the 'filths' realized my full intentions. I simply raised my hand in the air and discharged a strong blast of sound waves within the midst of surrounding fools.

Ahhh... I had to close my eyes against the pleasant onslaught of painful screams that was so brilliantly paired with sounds and smells associated with being mutilated to death by my sound waves. I slowly opened my eyes, feeling my blood sang with great feverish passion over the piles of dismembered bodies around. The sweet aroma of death and blood greet my sensitive and delicate nose.

Along the way, I easily leave a trail of death and destruction behind me. Nothing can really compare with the beautiful sound of warm blood being spilled and splattering against the ground and the walls. For some unknown reasons, it enticed me in a strange and calming way like lullaby music. I slowly take my time in walking towards my destination so as to enjoy the beauty and art of slaughtering these humans. Ohhh, this sweet music of the night was such a perfect start.

The leader of the Royal Guards having received earlier reports of the intruder formed three lines of defense around their Empress and Abel as I reached the main hall of the royal palace without any scratches on myself. Of course, my snow white uniform had no traces of blood and any damage at all. I need to be immaculately clean and presentable at all times for my first good impression.

_(At the New Human Empire, in the royal palace's main hall.)_

Both Abel and Seth watched warily at me, knowing that I was up to no good as I spoke my prepared speech. I gracefully made my way toward my siblings, stopping 3 feet away from the first line of the Royal Guards defenses.

Looking at Seth, I began: "Ah, finally we have a family reunion. It had been 900 years since we last get together. I must say that our dear sister had out-done herself in leading this empire to survive for generations." and then I paused to scrutinized Abel: "Hello my beloved Abel, how is your body healing from our previous fight?"

Abel clenches his fists and glares heatedly at me as his response. Aww! I always adore him when he's angry as he had a habit of pouting. He look's like an angry cute puppy that I would very much hug it to my chest.

Meanwhile Seth unperturbedly asked with a hint of venom: "What brings you here today, Brother?"

"Tch… Why the frostiness towards me? I have come to make a proposal for both of you." Stupid biiiiaatch, stopped ruining my moment of happiness in reuniting with my Abel.

"And what is the proposal about, Cain?" Seth asked suspiciously. I really hate her and she just happened to be on the top of my list to eliminate off from the Earth's surface. Still I need to do what's needed to be done and thus, I stamped down my murderous rage in favor for my brother and started to recite elegantly of my specially prepared speech.

"This world is still polluted with filthy humans, be it they called themselves Terrans or Methuselahs, as it is 900 years ago. I have always envisioned a world where we shall be the ones to shape this world into a new utopia. Yet, in order to renew this world and create our very own utopia, it must be first destroyed. This also follows the cycle of the world's trinity: Peace, Revolution and War." I stopped for a moment to let the effect of my words to sink into their stubborn minds.

Then staring at my siblings intensely with a feverish stance, I continued: "Now we are at the second stage – Revolution. However, my powers alone are not enough to do what I have envisioned and push the world to the highest peak of Revolution. As a result, I have joined the Rozen Kruez Orden for their motto 'With our fire, we will cleanse the world.' resonated with me. With their help, I'm able to work better towards my goal and yet even with my efforts in making this world better, it is not enough to stay at the second stage."

"Therefore, I have decided that the world needs to be push into the third stage – War. With this stage, my vision of utopia will be fulfilled once and for all. In order to achieve that, I will need a war so great that it involves the whole world. I need a World War."

"Still, it is always better to have more allies than enemies. Therefore, I hereby put forth this proposal and ask both of you to join me by my side. Just like the time we fought together during the days of the Holy War and together we shall fulfill this vision."

A great ominous silence follows after I ended the speech. The Royal Guards who are defending their Empress look at me in shock and instinctively tighten their hold on their weapons. Hmph, foolish mortals. Stop giving me those _looks._ I am very, very well aware that the fact I'm such a handsome beau. And no, I'm not for the taking. Don't even entertain that trail of thought…

After some moments, the pressuring silence was broken when I finally asked: "What do you say to this, my dearest siblings?"

Seth makes the first movement, standing up from her throne and walks as regally as she can to stand beside Abel. Heehee, she still looks like a midget beside Abel. Looks like the special height-increasing milk formula did not work out much to her benefit when she's an infant.

Then she starts to reply with absolute seriousness: "I can not and will not join you in this insane vision of yours. I have the responsibility to protect my precious children of this empire. It is a duty bestowed on me when I take up the title of Empress Augusta Vradica, leading my children to a bright, peaceful future where Terrans and Methuselahs can live in harmony. Therefore, I will fight you to the death to protect my children and the future generations that will come forth to this world."

Children? Future generations? _Ha!_ There would be none at all on this earth when I'm done through destroying it.

Abel, always my sweet dearest brother in my eyes, who had been silently watching the interaction finally spoke determinedly: "Cain, I will not let you do as you wish. Long, long time ago, I have made a promise to protect the humans of this world and I will destroy you myself even if it takes my whole life."

Ouch… that's hurt. A lot more than I expected of that idiot blockhead to respond like that to my… 'Declaration'. However, idiotic as he was, he's still my beloved and the adorable idiot brother. Yes, he's mine. No filthy humans would ever lay a hand on him, not when I'm still breathing.

Ahh… I think I just realized something very important, that I'm actually in a very 'committed relationship' with Abel. No, not _that_ relationship at all. I meant the very brotherly love-hate relationship. It's simple, you see. I love him and he hates me. Except that both of us took it to the extreme end of killing each other. Literally.

"My children, as your Empress, heed my commands! All of you move behind me and set up a static barrier. Stay out of it, this fight concerned only the three of us. If today is the day I died, let it be known to the world that it is Cain, the head of Rozen Kruez Orden, who had slain your Empress. Let it be known that my children of the New Human Empire shall avenge me and eliminate this Enemy of the world!" Seth commanded.

Tch… such arrogance drama acts. Oh well, since you loved drama so much my dearest sister, I would of course give you the most dramatic death in history.

"Your Majesty…" the Captain of the guards hesitantly called, trying fruitlessly to change his Empress's decision.

"Silence! Do as I command!" shouted Seth.

I coldly look on without interference. The Royal Guards obey their Empress's wishes and move to set up a barrier to protect them from the danger that we three siblings could made up. I sensed fear and saw looks of disbelief that they were actually letting their Empress to fight her own personal life and death battle by herself.

Heehee, what can they do at all? Even they were not a match for their 'soon to be dead and drained dried of her blood Empress'. They watch helplessly from inside the barrier they were forced to create reluctantly as an intensive fight broke out between Abel, Seth and me.

I remembered fondly of the sweet confrontation with my beloved siblings, for it was the most rewarding experience I can ever have…

(End of Chapter 3)

A/N: Thank you for reading this story and I would really appreciate your comments and reviews. So please review!


	4. Chapter 4: Sweet Wine

A/N: I was having some mix feelings when my friend, Passé on an Angel, confirmed for me that she's finding the story kinda good and creepy too. I'm proud to say that I can write out "creepy material".

However, on the other hand, when I re-read what I have written so far, I creep myself out. –Meep– this is scaring me out! I had only intended to write out a humor story, not a horror story! (shivers) Maybe I should put this under Humor/Horror genre instead?

Updated on: 19th of March 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 4: Sweet Wine.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Don't ask, figure it out yourself.

**Warning: This is done in Cain's point of view. Insanity is ensured. **

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted. Please don't sue me.

_(Back at the New Human Empire, in the royal palace's main hall.)_

Abel, Seth and I were now currently standing still in a triangle formation. We were waiting to see who would be the first to strike out. I was standing tall and glaring murderously at Seth; while I'm pretty much ignoring Abel's heated attention on me. I'm sorry brother, but now was not the time for me to obsess and coo madly over you.

Outwardly, I looked as if I have the confidence and could easily overcome my siblings. But deep down, I knew that I need to take great care in planning strategies in defeating them. My body could not withstand long period of battle form which was a great disadvantage. However, ever since that little fight over the skies of Londinium, Abel was also not in his best performance state to fight against me. So he would be not much of a problem to deal with. That's only left _my sister_ Seth, whose powers which I have not much idea and how much stronger she became after all these 900 years.

Well, my doubts were cleared when Seth finally could not contain herself any longer in this staring contest. She activated her Crusnik powers, her eyes turn glowing red and grew 2 pairs of pale green metallic wings. Hmm, this was getting interesting…

You see, when we activated our Crusnik powers, we have a few level limitations for us to choose from. The first level would be the 40 percent output level, where we usually grew only 1 pair of wings, our eyes became red, the teeth elongated into fangs plus our nails would turn into claws. Our weapon of our own blood would also materialize for our need in battles. At the second level of 80 percent output, we grew another pair of wings and can generate massive amounts of electricity. At the final level of 100 percent output, we would turn into a humanoid creature with our own unique markings that cover the entire body. We could also generate more electricity than the 80 percent form and also more enhanced physical abilities.

With all these observations, Seth had managed to reach her 80 percent form over the 900 long years. However, that does not mean I am worried over her. Not at all. I had been the first among the siblings to be able to attain my 100 percent form 900 years ago. I could proudly say that I had much more experience in using my own abilities. Seth, in this case, could not have much experience in controlling her abilities carefully. Coupled with the fact that I had use my 80 percent Crusnik form to fight against Abel's 100 percent form during our last fight, could say a lot more about my strength and experience.

Ahh… Once again I'm easily distracted. Back to the situation at hand, Seth had now started to move forward against me. She tried to use physical body combat on me to 'test out the waters'. Of course, I easily dodged her attacks effortlessly without activating my powers. We can't have my body break down earlier, can we?

Owie! Bad Abel! He actually kicked me by attacking me from behind. Huh? He had activated his powers too, but he's only at 40 percent output level. Hmm, looks like I would better start using my powers too… Thus, I also activated my powers to 40 percent output. I can't afford to use too much energy right now and was just in time to be able to evade another attack coming from Seth as I backed away using my wings to lift me into the air.

Now the three of us were battling out in the air. Suddenly, I sensed an even stronger power coming from Seth and look warily towards her. Seth had called upon a pair of trident-like weapons made of blood which materialize in each of her hands. I remembered she even named her weapons Tridents of Music. However, upon closer inspection, her weapons could be interpreted as oversized tuning forks. Or even just simply giant-sized 'poking stick'. I really don't want to play a game of "parry-poke, parry-poke" with her at all. This could not bode well for me. I wondered what kind of powers she had gotten up her sleeves. With a laughable twirl of her weapons, she unleashed her attack at me while shouting "The Fire of Sound".

Hmph, as if that could kill me. I notched up another level output to my 80 percent form and created a strong barrier around me using my sound waves. Well, a very theatrical sound of **Boom! **was generated as her attack negated my barrier. However, a lot of dust and rubbles were created and I could clearly hear her voice proudly speaking about her attack. Basically was that while she was in this state, she can almost instantly disintegrated her enemies. Similar to my ability, this power appears linked to the manipulation of sound waves. She called her technique "The Fire of Sound".

_Ha!_ As if she could kill me with that sad excuse of her attack. Just then, Abel shouted a warning to her that I might not be dead at all. That was perfectly correct. I fluttered my 2 pairs of pristine white wings and rise up like a phoenix from its ashes. I smirked proudly at Seth as I presented to everyone in the hall, that I was very alive without any damages at all. And as always, I'm still a handsome beau. Her 'Royal Guards' were actually gaping at me with adoration of worship in their eyes. Seth was obviously livid about something… maybe she's jealous that I'm better and stronger than her?

What was that I'm hearing? She was muttering something under her breath about the technique being her strongest…

Ah hee hee! I do have very sharp sense of hearing and I was now smiling with glee! If that's her strongest attack, I could actually walk away from here without any of my limbs falling off and eventually ruined my reputation.

"Crusnik nanomachines output level 80 percent. Confirmed." shouted Abel. Huh, oh holy s---

Next, I saw Abel crumbled onto the floor as he was shocked by his own electricity. That was very anti-climatic. Sigh… Here I thought I would have a nice little fight with Abel, but he had not been eating his food properly. Or else the nanomachines, which I called them nanites for short, would not be malfunctioning at all. He had starved them much too long. Heehee… which means that Seth was all I needed to concentrate on. _Wonderful!_

However, for my own safety precautions, I increased my speed and appeared at Abel's side. Holding Abel up by his collar with my left hand, I smashed part of Abel's head in with my other free hand to keep him immobile so I could take the opportunity to kill Seth uninterrupted. Owie! My beloved really had a stubborn head! And nope, Abel would not be so easily killed by this attack. I suddenly had a renewed respect for that… Lilith who had managed to drill in her teachings into his head before her death. Hmm? I vaguely heard Seth crying out loud for Abel somewhere…

Okay, is Abel's unconscious now? Check.

Are my nails still perfectly manicured? Check.

Is Seth dead and drained of her blood? Uncheck.

I slowly turn around to side-glance my _dearest sister _with what she would call 'an evil and insane smile'. "Oh Seth… I'm feeling a bit thirsty after all that 'little playing around'. Let me feast on 'your children'…"

"Over my dead body!" she screamed. Owie! My ears nearly bleed from _that_ underhanded attack.

"Fine," I replied sulkily and moved behind her back with my increased speed. "If you are not sharing, let me have yours instead…" with that said I buried my fangs into her delicate neck while I restrained her from escaping by wrapping my super-strength arms around her weak lithe and child-like body.

Ahhh… her blood was so much sweeter than I would ever imagine. It tastes like the honey fruit wine of very good vintage. Such a rich taste of a wonderful aged wine. She tasted better than Lilith, whose blood can only be described as peach and strawberry champagne. This made me wonder what Abel's blood taste like…

I drank greedily from Seth and can felt that the nanites had begun to move into my body and started to repair my cells. After I had my fill of her blood, I cut her pretty little head off and carelessly dumped her away. Warm blood splattered like spider-webs onto the cold white marble floor. Cradling her tiny head in my left hand and absorbing her nanites into my own body, I kneeled down beside my fallen brother and forced-feed Abel with Seth's blood to regenerate faster.

Ahhh… I still remembered how sweet the nectar of her life tasted and I even get to share this with Abel. Hmm? Why am I seeing everything in doubles? Oh darn it... everything looked so twirling...

_(At the main command room of the Empire's palace)_

Unbeknownst to both Abel and Seth, at the main command room of the empire's palace, Isaak was killing off all the Empire soldiers with his 'shadow magic'. He was guarding at the entrance door of the room and trying to help 'protect' Dietrich from any other 'disturbances' while doing his evil plan of destroying lives.

"Puppeteer, how much longer do you have to take?"

"Just a moment, I'm recording what our Master is doing."

"Puppeteer…"

"Okay, okay! I have already done hacking into the system. You just need to press down that (point, point) very big and red button on the wall over there yourself."

"What I really want to say was: Make another copy for me too. I also want to watch how the fight goes on actually… "

"Oh…Considered it done."

"Thank you." Replied Issak and commanded one of his 'shadow minions' to activate and launched the nuclear attack. The Rome was under direct hit and the Vatican City was demolished by the attack with no survivors.

In the end, Abel and Seth were unable to stop my 'evil' plan. (-Insert hysterical laughter here-)

_(Back at the New Human Empire, in the royal palace's main hall.)_

I'm seriously drunk and there was supposed to have no alcoholic content in Seth's blood at all. I really wondered whatever she ate for lunch or dinner today. Here I am, I was smiling uncontrollable as I never felt so relaxing as I carried my unconscious Abel in bridal style and slowly walked my way out of the main hall of the Empire's palace. Along the way, Isaak and Dietrich fall in and reported to me that they had accomplished their mission. I managed to let a giggle to come out from me and I remembered that I 'rewarded' them with a friendly kiss. It was meant to be a joke. No other implications intended and I was drunk. VERY DRUNK! Damnit.

Oh well, now the world had begun to know of the existence of Rozen Kruez Orden…

Umm… Issak would you mind removed your straying hands from my hips? Dietrich, please stopped bear-hugging me from behind. I really felt trapped between the two of you; my sweet Abel would have not much air to breathe here…

(End of Chapter 4.)

A/N: Har..har… I do hope you people are not scared off by this? Oh well, anyway thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. Please review and tell me what you really think about this.


	5. Chapter 5: What a Busy Night

A/N: Whoa! This was a longer chapter than I would expected to write out.

Oh, here's a Special Thank You to evilangel990 for letting me "steal" one of your ideas from your story: How To Make a Crusnik Cry Or Get Killed By One. **NOTE: I only used the (35) in the chapter 2. **

Also Appreciated Thanks to Passé on an Angel and Ninja Wings for taking the time to drop me reviews.

Updated on: 25th of March 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 5: What a Busy Night.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil (aka G0D, Ha! get it? XD)

Pairing(s): Please don't ask me, go figure!

**Warning: Not to be taken seriously. This is done in Isaak's point of view. I'm taking a short break from 'mind-reading' into Cain's. Shameless mentions of me?! Unsure of _why_ I even bothered to put this up since you people know this is _Insanity_. Please do not put any high expectation on this chapter, you will be solely disappointed. **

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted. Please don't sue me.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, let me first introduce myself. My name is Isaak Fernand von Kämpfer - The highest ranking officer (after my Lord Cain that is) in the Rosen Kruez Orden. I'm also a person to fear within good reason as I could use 'shadow magic' and also had the unique ability to summon monsters and weapons out of thin air.

I suppose a short summary of my life history should be in order here for you to get to know me a little better. Hmm, G0D will be pleased I think… No, it's nothing. I'm just rambling that's all.

I used to work at the University of Londinium, an imperial university. I was a genius professor and was also involved in a ground-breaking research. There were another prodigy in University of Londinium at that time; Professor William Walter Wordsworth... we were all rivals once. We loved competing against each other with our intelligence and brains.

During the research, one Lost Technology that we analyzed shook the whole academia and caused a great scandal. Because Wordsworth and I were leading the research, we were expelled and all our hard work of findings and research was completely destroyed. Also, during this scandal, Wordsworth's wife died saving us when we were doing our research.

After getting kicked out of the University, I was roaming around places like a wanderer doing absolutely nothing. Life was really boring and I contemplated to just kill myself to end the long period of boredom. You see, I am actually a Methuselah and had a really long lifespan provided that I'm not killed. I only went to the University, passing off as a Terran, for the research. It was a blessing that I did not end my life really as I then met my perfect master, Cain Knightlord, who was still 900 years into his recovery. I was at first charmed by my Lord's sweet childish innocence of his little discoveries of the normal things of the world. Later, as I get to know more of my darling Lord, I was won over by his absolutely brilliant mind and knowledge and since then I began a life of servitude for my Lord and Master.

We started _doing things_ together then.

The _things_ we have done will not be mentioned here, as they were rather considered 'unmentionables' or as defined by G0D, the M-rated materials. This was also more famously known as NC-17, which literally means no children under the age of 17. They are simply unsuitable for this T-rated existence story. Oh my, please _don't _use your imagination. My Master will not be very pleased at all to know _what_ you are thinking of right now…

When I and my Lord Cain took over this really small society called Rosen Kreuz Orden, not only did we succeed in making the society bigger, we also participated in many terrorists activities. I used my power which can only be described as magic to make the AX suffer. Within AX, I have also developed a rather strong interest in Abel. I know a lot more about Abel, such as his weaknesses and strengths, in which my Lord himself disclosed the information freely to me. No, please do not take it the wrong way. I am not at all obsessed over Abel because he's had the very same identical face of my well-regarded Lord. Master Cain really trusted me a lot and I feel much honored to be his trusted aide and his ever loyal servant.

Because my master can't move around freely... I would always gladly be around to help my Lord in his job in terms of cornering and breaking Abel's mind. Although I'm very much tempted to do with him as I pleased, I would not betray my beloved Lord Cain at all in pleasing and indulging myself.

Hmm? I think I have gotten carried away. G0D's not very pleased with the flow of things and having complaints. My sincere apologies, I always do that when I start talking about my beloved master. Anyway, that's the end of the summarized history there. Now let's recap back to the other night as requested by G0D…

_(Continue from previous chapter. Back at the Empire's Royal Palace)_

I and Dietrich decided to fall in and report to our most respected master, Lord Cain, after we had done the mission that he had personally handed to us in trust of our abilities. We met up with our master along the hallway of the palace. At the time he was carrying his twin brother, Abel, and walking unsteadily with a sweet smile gracing his handsome face.

Once we had reported to our master that our mission was completed, something came over our master Cain and he gave each of us a rewarding kiss.

_On our lips._

I was rather pleased that Lord Cain graced me with his attention. However, I noticed that my master had a fine blush on his face and his temperature was higher. Therefore, I gently wake Dietrich up, who was secretly bathing in his 'dreams' after our master kissed him, and asked him to hold our master steady from behind. I then walk in front of Cain and hold him still with my hands on his firm hips and check out his health status with a critical eye of a professional doctor.

"My Lord…" I cautiously probed for his response.

"Umm… Isaak… would you please 'hic' remove your hands 'hic' from my 'hic' hips?"

"My sincere apologies, my Lord, however..."

"Oh… Diet…Rich… 'hic' stop hugging me from behind… 'hic' both of you are suffocating my Abel…" and a trail of giggle spilled forth of my lord's lovely lips.

As I suspected, Master Cain was very drunk. Someone must have given him a very wicked dosage of high alcoholic content to have made him this drunk. But who could have done that?

"Master Cain, who has you, drank from just now…" as I just noticed a small trickle of blood near his chin. It must have been cause by my master carelessly drinking some unclean Methuselah's blood.

" 'hic' Se…th's… 'hic' " was my master's reply. I frowned and leaned forward to take a whiff of him and imagined my surprise when I smelled nothing of alcoholic but strong sweet smell of… unexplained sweetness.

"Magus, we would better get back to our lair first. _This is not the place and time to fool around._" Dietrich playfully said, stressing very much on his words. I arched one of my eyebrows but nodded anyway and called upon my 'shadow magic' to transport the three of us safely back to my Lord Cain's bedchamber. A decision which I would later enjoy to the fullest at the expense of my Lord Cain and Dietrich…

_(Back at the main base of Rosen Kruez Orden, in Cain's bedchamber)_

My adored Master Cain's bedchamber, in my opinion, was tastefully decorated with wonderful furniture and the essential things which I had searched through the whole world to find the best and finest furniture for the comfort of my master. If one would be able to walk into my master's chamber, provided he/she could get past the tight security alive that is, one would definitely first see the beautiful landscape of the ocean as offered from the semi-circle balcony as the black curtains with beautifully intricate gold sewing framed around the bomb-proof windows.

The floor was covered with a plush carpet made from the finest and softest materials found in the world and the room was artfully painted. It was strangely divided into two parts, like the 2 halves of a rectangle, the right half was for work, science experiments and recuperation and the left half was for leisure and relaxation.

High-technology machinery and 3 recuperation units were situated at the right side of the room. Amidst this machinery, an elegantly ensemble of red and black work table which was perfectly accentuated by the lovely bones around its edges. _Real human bones._ This piece of furniture was personally chosen by my master, who thought it to be a good joke to have it blatantly stood out in the centre of the cold metallic machinery.

At the left side of the room, a oak wood wardrobe was placed against the wall facing to the right side of the bed, while a truly luxurious red sofa which had 8 inches of padding under a plush velvet cover, was placed against the wall facing to the left side of bed. Beside the sofa, stood a casket bookcase in which my master humorously thought that it made the ultimate place for any Goths to stores their favorite books.

The king-sized regal yew wood bed, hand crafted from the finest, was decorated with soft plushy silk pillows filled with the softest swan's feathers and a warm blanket spun only from the world-renowned black widows' spider-silk for my master's comfort. As my master recently had a fascination with tulips, I bred a rare species of the tulips and planted them in small pots that lined up the balcony. The tulips were known as the Color Changing Tulips, they were specially bred so that they would never be the same color two days in a row so as to keep my master amused each day.

As we arrived at our master's bedchamber, I easily lifted and carefully arranged both my master and his beloved brother onto the only bed in the room. My master took up the left side of the bed like a sweet kitten while his brother was sleeping and sprawled out at the right side. Dietrich was lounging lazily on the luxurious sofa and watching my actions with great interest and attentiveness.

"So," as he started, "just what had happened to _our master_?"

"I have my suspicions but I need to have them confirmed." I replied nonchalantly as I took a sample of the trickling blood from my master's lovely rosebud mouth.

Just as I was trying to take a sample of his precious blood, my Lord Cain moved without warning and I found ourselves in very desirable positions, with my master straddling and pinning me down on the soft bed. This startling change of events sent me blinking stupidly up at my master and vaguely wondered in my mind just what _kind of games_ he's playing at.

Dietrich was lying on the comfortable couch, silently laughing and wiping his tears away, watching us like a hungry eagle with his sick sense of hungry interest. From his twinkling eyes, I knew that the Puppeteer was really having _dirty_ _thoughts_. It's truly a pity that I can't wash his _dirty mind_ out simply with a bar of soap…

I leaned back on the bed and looked up warily at my master. Gauging from his awkward movements and also the peal of silver-toned giggles that fall forth his lovely mouth, he's still drunk and _very knock out_. I smiled up at him reassuring and carefully took a sample of his precious blood. Then I persuasively push my master back onto his bed, changing our positions and crawled out on all fours from his bed to the ground, taking great care not to disturb him. I then stand up gingerly from the ground and dusted myself a bit. Dietrich was trying very hard not to laugh out loud during the whole time.

Hmph. Don't worry, my dearest Dietrich. _Your time will come._

"Dietrich," I called his name with a very, _very bad thought_ forming in my head, "Would you mind guarding our precious master for a moment?"

"What am I? A babysitter?!" came the retort.

"I still need to run some tests on these blood samples and I can't simply leave our lord unguarded like this. Others are too busy preparing for the on-coming world events to come back to the main base. So the only available person suited for safeguarding our lord left you."

Our argument continued for a while, after which he caved in under my persisting pressure and the use of my rank and superiority over him. I managed to convince Dietrich to… _baby-sit_ our master as I quoted from the Puppeteer and made sure that our master would not leave this room at all without him.

As I left the room in order to run some tests on the blood samples, I heard my master said to Dietrich behind closed doors: "Dietrich… _I'm bored_… let's play a _little game_."

_Poor _Dietrich, he had _no idea_ just what _kind of wonderful games_ our master could came up with.

_(In Isaak's laboratory)_

After scanning and experimenting with the two blood samples I had taken from my master. I could only come up with one conclusion.

My master was high after consuming a large amount of sugar.

This was the only logical explanation. My Lord Cain had drank drained his sister's blood, which apparently was very, very high in sugar content, that end up causing my Lord to be drunk like this. Now I'm very worried if my Lord would get diabetic from this encounter alone…

Oh well, I would have to worry about that later. Now I need to check up on how my master and that brat were doing during my absence. I do pray that my innocent master was not led astray by the Puppeteer. After all, Puppeteer was notoriously known to be mischievous and full of very weird ideas of pranks.

_(Back at Cain's bedchamber)_

As I opened the twin doors of my master's private chambers, I blinked both my eyes in surprise as lots of empty bottles supposedly filled with red wine greeted my feet. Oh fu--, (cough, cough) I mean Oh hell no… my master had played _that game_ with Dietrich. Yes, _the Drinking Game_. I prayed to whatever gods out there that my master's precious, pure virginity was still intact…

With a frightful heart and steady steps I walked to the bed. My eyes stayed stuck to the ground as I had not the courage to see what would greet me. Finally, gathering up all my courage I slowly lifted my head up and looked. On the right side of the bed, my lord's beloved still laid unmoving. However, as I looked over to the left side of the bed…

"Lady Catherina, what are you doing on my Lord's bed?" I sternly asked with a strong hint of anger in my tone.

Lady Catherina was once again dressed back in her garb of clothes that she had worn back in the days as a Cardinal. She had also applied a small touch of make-up on her face, making her look seductively alluring in my eyes. Lady Catherina was sleeping comfortably on the bed cuddling close to Abel. Delicate, white fingers peeked out from her sleeves, and a fine, coquettish necklace suited the slim neck that rose from her tight collar. A silver cross hung at the end of the necklace. Her long blond hair poured past her neck, and the stark red robe contrasted bewitchingly with her pure white skin…

Shaking my head clear of those thoughts, I felt that something was still amiss and this does not ease back any of my stress and strengthen the strange feeling I am experiencing now. Where did my master and that snotty little brat gone. I sweared if I ever find that weasel brat I would gave him a hard spanking over my knees!

…Please clear your minds off those _dirty thoughts_ you people are having now… I meant it literally as discipline, there's no implications or innuendos in my statement.

I was getting worried over my master's disappearance when I heard a groan coming from the sofa. I looked over to that direction and nearly got a heart-attack for the first time in my life!

Lying on the red sofa was a drunk and knock out Dietrich… dressed in a midnight blue dress that trailed to the ground and yet you could still make out how slender he was. His short ruddy brown hair framed his delicate angel face, made him looked like a… bride sacrificed to G0D… Please excuse my usage of words, but these were what I'm feeling at the time.

However, if Dietrich was here, then my master Cain should be still around…

With a deep breathe, I once again found myself scrutinize the 'Lady Catherina' with a careful eye and I nearly fainted after confirming my initial suspicions. On the left side of the bed, was none other than my master and my Lord Cain, dressed up in the clothes that Lady Catherina used to wear in her old days of a Cardinal! Oh good G0D!

After a long moment of silence, I was still having a strange feeling of… I can't seem to express it out. Could G0D please help me in expressing this moment of utter realization?

(dot dot dot)

Is that _the only way_ to express all of our feelings?!

I must have been gaping like a fish and probably shown _evil_ amusement for like a minute or two over my shock. But I had to confess; this was such a refreshing change of things and certainly provided some entertainment in my long existing life of a Methuselah.

My mind itched with the playfulness of this very rare situation and decided to act upon it.

I took some _excellent pictures_ of Dietrich posing lewdly and seductively in which I decided to use as blackmailed material one of these days. I also secretly took some 'blurred' pictures of my Lord and Abel sleeping in the bed together.

Only an expert eye would point out that these two were my Lord and his brother. Anyone who would have seen the pictures would have believed that these were Lady Catherina and Abel together.

Unless otherwise stated, in which I had taken the liberty to write out the honest truth behind the back of the pictures… and sent them out to the entire Order, Vatican, Empire and ALL of my friends. In the name of Dietrich, who was 'acting' as the _sender_.

Framing others and pushing the blame on them was always one of my best abilities…

(End of Chapter 5)

A/N: So, what do you really think of this chapter so far? Please drop me a review to tell me your thoughts! **PLEASE!** If you have any other suggestions, also feel free to drop me a review. I take suggestions very seriously and I really, really love getting reviews.(-hearts-)


	6. Chapter 6: Never Judge

A/N: I just discovered that I made a mistake in previous chapters, that I was inter-changing between the spelling of Issak and Isaak. The correct spelling should be Isaak. Sorry about that. Another thing to take note of, most information I found are from Wikipedia and TB Canon websites.

**Insanity - Chapter 6: Never Judge A Book By Its Cover.**

Updated on: 9th of April 2007.

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Please don't ask me, go figure it out yourself.

**Warning: This is done in my point of view; I'm sort of like a narrator here in this chapter. I also seem to be recounting events and talking about the profiles of Trinity Blood's characters. I think I'm doing this for my friend PoaA, who's quite newly introduced towards the anime TB. Maybe considered a boring chapter to read. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted. Please don't sue me.**

_(At the New Human Empire)_

The New Human Empire was in the sad heart-wrenching moment of grief and sadness for their beloved Mother, Her Majesty Augusta Vradica. Most of her courtiers and servants have never seen her before in all the centuries that they have served her; mainly due to the heavy veils she wears to cover her appearance as well as the use of a voice modifier. Though she does age, she still appears as a little girl at over nine hundred years old. Poor thing.

However, even as they grieved for their loss of their Empress, a leader was urgently needed for these turbulent times. Therefore, the Duchess of Moldova, Mirka Fortuna who was a faithful servant of the late empress and holds the rank of Head of the Imperial Secret Council was elected to be their leader, guide and compass for the future.

The Earl of Memphis, Ion Fortuna, was ordered to act as an Imperial envoy and diplomat to negotiate with Albion. He was once ordered by the late Empress to act as an Imperial messenger and envoy to negotiate with the Vatican. Initially, he holds strong prejudices against Terrans. After his acquaintance and growing familiarity with Esther, however, his attitude changes considerably. He harbored growing romantic feelings towards Esther, though these seem to be slightly one-sided.

A powerful Methuselah yet so beautiful that he was often confused with a girl. He's Mirka Fortuna's grandson and thus of a high, noble family. Full of pride for his Empire and his race, he was supposed to take his grandmother's place one day. Also, through his experiences with the treachery of the Rosen Kruez Orden he has a growing desire for vengeance.

As for the Viscountess of Odessa & Duchess of Kiev, Astharoshe Athrun, she was promoted to be the Commander of the Empire National Security and Defence Armed Forces. Though only from a lower noble class, she was an inspector in the Empire and was sent after the criminal Enderles Kudza. On this mission, she became acquainted with Father Abel Nightroad while in Venice. This was the first step to peace treaties between the Vatican and the Empire, which is why she was respected by the late Empress Augusta Vradica and also the Duchess, Mirka Fortuna.

First sent to investigate an incident suspected to be connected to a vampire mass murderer and reluctantly partnered with Abel, Astharoshe is a direct, no-nonsense individual who harbors a low opinion of humans. After working with Abel, however, she changes her views and becomes his ally. She fights with a large rod that can extend on her command and fires massive blasts of energy from its tip.

Then the letters were arrived and were received by Ion Fortuna, Astharoshe Athrun and also Mirka Fortuna herself. A moment of silence was observed by the three leaders of the empire. Which was later break down by our spit-fire Astharoshe, who exclaimed: "What the ---- was Abel thinking of, sleeping with that traitor Catherina?!"

"…Um… With utmost respect, Viscountess, I don't think that was Lady Catherina…" said Ion in a hushed voice.

"Pray tell me that you're _in denial_ that Abel, _my Tovarish,_ and that woman Catherina are _sleeping together_?" snorted Astharoshe.

"If you would please listen to reason for once, you will find out that things aren't always what you think!" retorted Ion angrily.

"Why you snotty little brat!" yelled Astharoshe.

"Who are you calling brat! You..." shouted Ion.

"Ion! You should not have raised your voice against Viscountess. Apologize at once." interrupted Mirka.

"Sorry…" muttered Ion reluctantly.

"As for you, Viscountess, Ion does have a good point. I believed that it was not Abel and Catherina sleeping together in that picture taken. From my years of experience of studying the arts of photography, I can tell you that it was a picture of two men there."

Astharoshe theatrically arched her eyebrows high to emphasize her point of disbelief and also silently asking the reason why she should believed any of this. It was at this moment that Ion cut in and added his comments: "Please read behind what was written behind the picture."

"…" shocked silence reigned above the three of them as Astharoshe tried to take in the shock of Abel sleeping with his twin brother Cain in the same bed and the horror that Cain was cross-dressing as Lady Catherina…

"Oh my… I thought that it was 2 men _sleeping indecently_ together. I didn't know that it was two brothers _sleeping together_, with one of them _role-playing_ Cardinal Catherina." commented Mirka playfully.

"Huh? Grandmother, I thought you already knew that beforehand? Haven't you read what was written behind?!" asked Ion.

"It was until you mentioned about reading behind the picture that I took any notice of it. I was too engrossed in the picture as I am focusing on the details of two gorgeous men in that picture. As I mentioned before, I was a lover of the art of photography. Did I ever mention that the art topic was mostly on men?" was the reply.

I really do not want to or wish to tarnish Mirka Fortuna's reputation by saying this and I knew that I would probably get flamed or even get beaten up by Mirka's fanclub, but I really can't resist:

_I never knew that she was such a pervert._

_(At the meeting room of the Albion's royal palace.)_

Hailing from the city of Istavan, Esther Blanchett grew up with a nun, Bishop Laura, who treated her like a daughter. When Abel meets her, she has just murdered a Colonel Lattikar to avenge Laura. A vivid, star-shaped birthmark adorns her side, marking her as the Albionian "star of hope", the name "Esther" was derived from the Persian word for star.

This mark later proves her to be part of the royal family of Albion, and she ascended the throne to become queen. She seems to have growing romantic feelings towards Abel Nightroad and has also shown a strong degree of altruism in a romantic way with Ion, though how she felt was much unknown and certainly _arguable._

The AX organization was later disbanded by the Pope Francseco after the death of the late Pope Alessandro XVIII. But it was later regroup by Esther's effort to be her supporting and reliable secret agents in the fight against the Rosen Kruez Orden.

News of the Vatican City decimated to ashes shocked the young queen of Albion and her secret operatives and also friends, the members of AX. However, just as they were grieving for the loss of so many innocent lives, Esther and the members of AX received a letter.

"…What do you guys think of this letter?" Esther asked solemnly.

"Well… if I did not know them any better, I would have thought that Abel and Catherina are lovers from the look of things here." said Father William Walter Wordsworth, codenamed Professor, while smoking his pipe thoughtfully.

A gentleman originated from Albion. His intellect is second to none. He used to study at Imperial University and was one of the prodigies of the university, along with Isaac Butler. Framed by Isaac Butler, who was later known as Isaak Fernand von Kämpfer, he was charged for a terrible accident that also killed his fiancee, and expelled from the university. He later joined AX and became a professor at the University of Rome, Father Wordsworth often comes up with bizarre inventions - some of which work, others ending up as spectacular failures. _Very spectacular _if you people could recalled.

"_Ha!_ If I did not know you any better, I would have thought you're _so knowledgeable_." commented Sister Kate Scott, codenamed Iron Maiden.

Sister Kate manifests as a hologram. She appears able to project herself nearly anywhere in the world despite the lack of a readily visible projector. Her duties include relaying messages, gathering information, and most importantly, captaining the battleship _Iron Maiden_. She was originally from Albion and was also famous for her herbal tea.

However, I really don't think I can handle Sister Kate appearing in front of you while you're having a shower...

"That was really mean of you to doubt my abilities…" muttered the Professor.

"I heard that_ Crystal Clear!_" shouted Sister Kate.

"Enough of bickering! _This is not the time and place for it. If the two of you wish to continue, please get a room._" said a disapproving Father Vaclav Havel, strangely codenamed Know Faith.

His special ability was to optically camouflage himself, as well as seemingly take flight. He was one of Cardinal Sforza's most trusted friends, and apparently has been by her side for at least 10 years. However, his codename, "Know Faith", could also be considered a play on words, being read as "No Faith". Now he was working for Queen Esther as a spy, collecting important intelligence and spying upon their enemies. However, he's not what I would _love_ to have as an invisible stalker.

And of course, a collection of gasps followed that statement.

"Oh God! I never thought to see the day that the gentlemanly Father Vaclav Havel simply implied _innuendo."_ laughed outrageously loud by Father Leon Garcia de Asturias, codenamed Dandelion.

Which in my opinion, an even stranger name than Know Faith. Why in the world does a manly and _hot_ man with a built of a body-builder or lack of better word, a super model called himself Dandelion?

For killing his wife and 30 clergy men, he has been imprisoned. He used to be a decorated professional soldier from Hispania, but due to unfortunate circumstances he was now a criminal with a 1,000-year-long sentence. His sentence decreases with each mission he takes. He tends to fight with sharp throwing disks and a bazooka.

Not very incentive for me to marry him, considered of the record that he killed his wife.

But of course, during a mission, when he heard that the AX was disbanded, he never went back to the Vatican City. Preferring to make himself useful and repent for his sins, he went into hiding with help from Esther and secretly helped in training the Albion's military in preparation for the wars to come.

"So said the _old man_." said a wry Sister Kate.

"Who you're calling an old man!" yelled Father Leon, who seems to take great offense at being called an old man.

"To the one who responded first!" retorted Sister Kate haughtily.

"Oh well, looks like _a cat caught your tongue_, Dandelion." teased Father Wordsworth.

"_Indeed._" said Father Havel seriously, with an amused twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh no! Please don't do that again! EVER!" groaned Sister Kate.

"As much as I would love to tease you about it, Father Havel does have a point. This is certainly not the time and place for it." smiled Esther.

"Let me say my piece, please." asked Father Wordsworth, Esther nodded and he continued: "I believed that the picture shows Abel, but he was not with Lady Catherina, of which I'm sure of it."

"What gives you the clues anyway?" asked the silent Father Hugue de Watteau, codenamed Sword Dancer. He was a very independent person, and often leaves AX on a whim in order to track down vampires.

Wielding a blade-staff as his weapon, Hugue can easily match an average vampire in a fight. He has artificial limbs that enhance his speed and strength. Hugue was a son of a noble family before he joined the AX. His entire family was mysteriously murdered and he has been trying to track down the culprit to seek vengeance. He has a sister who escaped the slaughter but she's missing currently, presumably taken away by the murderer.

He's really the most handsome man, more so than Leonardo de Caprio or even Orlando Bloom. _The beautiful lover to die for._

Literally. If you happened to be a vampire.

"Well, for one thing, Lady Catherina has giant golden curls that fall pass her shoulder. In this picture, the woman was hardly having any of those even though she was wearing what Lady Catherina would have worn before her exile. Besides, if you look closely at the eyes of the woman, it appears to be glittering red. Very unlike the sapphire blue eyes of our dearest Lady." explained the Professor patiently.

"Let me see that." asked Esther, who took the picture and scrutinizing it very carefully. A certain look of recognition and disbelief cross her delicate features. She shakes her head slightly and flipped over to read the back of the picture. In which her face pales instantly.

"What's the matter? Is Abel in danger?" asked Sister Kate in concern.

Esther shakingly passes the picture to Father Leon and then starts laughing uncontrollably. She was later joined in by Father Leon. The rest of the AX was looking at them as if they have been let out of the IMI.

Which simply stands for the Institute for the Mentally-Illed. An asylum for the very mentally insane. Cain should really take the time off from his busy schedule of destroying the world to visit this place. I bet he will be thoroughly feels very _at home._ What with all those insanity around.

Father Watteau moved forward silently to took hold of the picture and reads out loudly on what was written on the back, with a stern and straight face.

'_As I quoted, never judge a book by its cover. __I'm using this proverb to say that you can't tell what something/someone is really like just by looking at it. It might be different from what it looks. The picture said it all the more clearly.__'_

'_With love. From Dietrich von Lohengrin, who was also known as Marionettenspieler, which also means Puppet Master or Puppeteer in the German language. '_

Father Watteau paused seemingly for effect, and continued disinterestedly.

'_P.S.: It was a picture of Father Abel Nightroad and his beloved brother, Cain, who was dressed up as Lady Catherina. It was done as a joke to be played on the both of them when they're both in the state of unconsciousness.'_

Seemingly more insane laughter was roaring out of the meeting room, scaring anyone who walked by. Even the spies planted there by the Rosen Kruez Orden quickly and diligently made reports of this unusual event back to his Order.

_(At the main office of RKOPO Pte. Ltd.) _

A man, who looks to be in his mid-thirties, was holding up a big stack of letters which was supposedly to be delivered to the Vatican. And he looked to be frowning and cursing furiously at the big stack of letters in front of him. For him, delivering the letters secretly to the important leaders of the entire Order and Empire was easy job to do if you know where they're. However, it was the job of delivering the letters to the Vatican that proves to be a problem.

At the moment, our dearest Postman was now cursing and muttering along the lines of: "What in seven hells should I do with _these_!"

Yes, as you people guessed it, these letters happened to be the _ones_ Isaak wanted them to be sending out. In the name of Dietrich of course.

However, as we all know perfectly well that it was Dietrich who hacked into the New Human Empire's Mother Computer's System and it was Isaak who commanded one of his 'shadow minions' to activate and launched the nuclear attack, Rome was under direct hit and the Vatican City was demolished by the attack with no survivors.

Therefore, our dearest Postman was in a little dilemma on what to do with the letters that were supposed to be sent to the Vatican.

I bet you people are wondering who this man is. Well to cut to the point, he's a Postman. He's the acting head of the secret intelligence, or the head of the spies as people would have disgusting sneered. Collecting information for the Order and keeping the active members updated on news around the world and whatever mission orders, instruction that needed to be passed down to the right person for the job.

Not just any ordinary postman, but with the rank of Philosophus (4-7), he's also the man in charge for the job of ensuring the delivering _suspicious letters and unidentified parcels_ to the correct recipient, the correct destination at the right time as stated.

If you're wondering as well, the RKOPO Pte.Ltd., literally stands for – "Rosen Kruez Orden Post Office Private Limited."

Yes, seriously. How else do you think that the Rosen Kruez Orden was able to communicate and do terrorist activities _so_ effectively?

Okay, looks like some people seems confused about the Rosen Kruez Orden Ranking System also known as Argenteum Astrum, which was also known as Silver Star, and often referred to as A.'.A.'. . It was an order created by the founder Aleister Crowley after leaving the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.

The A.'.A.'. was unique in that members officially only know those directly above and below in the chain of instruction. There are no regular group rituals as measures are taken to hide the identity of the Officers during the few initiation rituals, and members are expected to work alone, consulting as needed with their superior in the Order.

In this way the founders of the system hoped to avoid the many political problems that allegedly brought about the downfall of the predecessor organization, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. The A.'.A.'. claims to be a spiritual organization focused on enlightenment of the individual, with a strong emphasis on maintaining the chain of initiation from teacher to student, and devoting all of one's attainments to those individuals who follow. The A.'.A.'. consists of eleven grades divided into a preparatory stage and three initiatory Orders:

The Order of the G.D. (Golden Dawn)  
- Neophyte (1-10)  
- Zelator (2-9)  
- Practicus (3-8)  
- Philosophus (4-7)

The Order of the R.C. (Rose-Cross)  
- Adeptus Minor (5-6)  
- Adeptus Major (6-5)  
- Adeptus Exemptus (7-4)

The Order of the S.S. (Rulers or Magi of the Silver Star)  
- Magister (8-3)  
- Magus (9-2)  
- Ipsissimus (10-1)

Anyway, back to our Postman. He was still staring hard at the letters, perhaps in the hopes that it would all burst into fire if he stared hard enough. After a long torturous moment for our dearest Postman, he sighed as if the end of world was at hand and gingerly took up one of the letter to read in the details of the recipient and the address.

It was only when he flipped to the back of the letter, did he cursed. In a strange mixture of extreme anger at his stupidity and relief. This was because at the back of all those letters, it was written:

'_If undelivered, please send it back to Ipsissimus (10-1).'_

And thus, our dearest Postman gets to work in delivering the letters. It was his job to deliver any letters to any specific recipient as stated, even if it means breaking into high technology security secretly. If only he could get pass those irritating tight security alive that is. His dearest superior, with the scary rank of Magus (9-2), always made an effort to invent and even upgrade the standard of the security around their most respected leader, who had an even scarier rank of Ipsissimus (10-1), each time he managed to get pass it alive.

Still it was time to deliver those letters back to Cain Knightlord.

(End of Chapter 6)

A/N: Yeah! Finally got it out of my system! I hope that you people are not bored to death by this chapter! At least it seems to be… educational? Whatever! For your information and strong curiosity:  
- Cain Knightlord: 10-1  
- Isaak Fernand von Kampfer: 9-2  
- Dietrich von Lohengrin: 8-3  
- Radu Barvon: 6-5

Oh yeah, by the way, I sincerely thank evilangel990 and Passe on an Angel for taking the time to review. As for all those ghost readers out there who are still reading it and not scared off by the creepiness of it, please review! Or else there will be no more updates! Har har!


	7. Chapter 7: Brand New Day

A/N: It's good to know that I'm not being flamed or beaten up by any of Mirka Fortuna's fanclub out there. I'm still so alive!

Wow, it's been a long time since I last updated; I was having exams back then. Sorry for the long wait! I needed some time to make this chapter _unbelievable_ when you read it. Hopefully, you will not be disappointed!

Thank you Kusumita, for writing the story on How to Make a Trinity Blood OC Work, it's really very informative.

Thank you to my reviewers: Passé on an Angel, evilangel990 and also MazdaKitsune for taking the time to drop me a review.

I have a weird hobby of making a copy of any kind of literature works that really struck my fancy and then keep it for my personal reading pleasure.

I re-found this excerpt while tidying up my desk, which I believed it was taken from a literature work, titled Pale Fire (page 94): Life: March 28, 1949, page 126. An advertisement on Hanes Fig Leaf Brief.

It shows a modern Eve worshipfully peeping from behind a potted tree of knowledge at a leering young Adam in rather ordinary but clean underwear, with the front of his advertised brief conspicuously and compactly shaded, and the inscription reads: Nothing beats a fig leaf.

I think there must exist a special subversive group of pseudo-cupids – plump hairless little devils whom Satan commission to make disgusting mischief in sacrosanct places. –Charles Kinbote.

A/N: I really like this; therefore I think it would be fair if I share this with you people! However, please don't blame me if I get the source wrongly. After all, it had been _a long time_ since I last tidy up my desk. Okay, enough crapping and now back to the story.

Updated on: 22nd of April 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 7: Brand New Day.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Never ask me, go figure.

**Warning: Back into mind-reading of Cain's point of view. With shameless insertion of me from now on! Insanity is ensured and OOCness is a given. Bwahaha---choke---splutters---clears her throat--- Umm... Let me try this again, Bwahahaha!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. **

_(Back to Cain's bedchamber; the next day.)_

After last night's fight with Seth, I never felt so… _high_ since the time I drained Lilith's blood. I was experiencing a strange sense of… _high_ feeling and yet at the same time I sensed another unknown presence trying hard to be inconspicuous inside my mind. Kind of like I'm smoking cocaine in large quantity while the law enforcer was standing there observing me and doing absolutely nothing to stop me.

Except that I hate to intake any kind of drugs nowadays. I do not have a happy memory in my childhood when dealing with drugs; I and my siblings were always taking unknown pills or tablets and being subjected to inhumane experiments in the name of Science and Mankind. Those unknown pills, which the scientists given us, always caused us a lot of discomfort and dizziness. Sometimes even excruciating pain that was unnecessary.

Gawd! Now I'm having a headache which was starting to develop like a stab of sharp pain in between my eyes. It's _mushrooming_ into a major one if I continue to ignore it.

(Poor baby, you're just experiencing the inevitable. I can only imagine the sudden crash from the constant sugar rush you been having during the past day.)

What the hell!

(Huh? OH CRAP!!)

Who's that talking in my head?!

(You came along further than I thought…)

I jerked up to sit straight on my bed, but my sight bursts into a thousand little black spots that made me banged my head back against the soft pillow. Owie! I hate those stupid black spots that blossomed into sharp static white pain...

Once I recovered enough of myself, I turned my head slightly and found my beloved sweet brother, Abel, was sleeping like a baby beside me. Ahh... my sweet love was finally now within my grasp. I snuggled up beside him and closed my eyes to enjoy the warmth his body gives me. This has got to be a dream come true... however, something seems to be nagging at the back of my head as I tried to get myself more comfortable.

(Sooo Kawaii!)

Once again that alien Voice that makes itself known inside my head and I am also painfully aware that it was a Female Voice. Maybe I'm really going insane… My _headache's_ now making a settlement in my mind and having plans to stay for an infinite period of time. Perhaps a trip to the IMI (the Institute for the Mentally-Illed) could be arranged one of these days.

(You're already insane to begin with, _way, way long_ before I came along for the bumpy ride...)

Shut your trap! I am not insane! And also I'm not even talking to you _at all_! I'm only talking to myself and YOU DON'T EXIST IN MY HEAD AT ALL!

(Ouch... You're obviously in denial.)

Perhaps some pain-killers and a glass of water may help me get rid of the said… _headache._ It's a discomfort I am willingly to partake so as to gain back my precious sanity.

However, I never was a morning person as I grumpily got up from my bed to search for some of the pain-killers. I remembered Isaak had prepared them especially for me and it should be somewhere on my desk. A small glass bottle with white pills in it was found some moments later. Yes! I found them!

The label read: Pain-killers, effective against internal and external pain. Take 1 pill 3 times a day unless otherwise stated by the doctor. Or else results will not be as indicated.

(Are you sure it is wise to take the drugs? It could be detrimental to your health…)

I then proceed to uncap the bottle and swallow all the pills down my throat dry.

(Are you crazy?! Oh wait... yes you already are...)

My actions can be easily explained, for I was having the _greatest headache_ of my lifetime.

After some time, my _headache_ is cleared. A rush of pained relief fills my mind as I went crawling back into my warm bed, cuddling next to my beloved brother. Hopefully, the Voice will be gone now…

(Testing, testing… 1, 2, 3. Hello? Can you _still_ hear me?)

Oh yes, I heard you _loud _and_ crystal clear_... DAMNIT!! THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AT ALL!!

(Why _thank you_ if you can kindly take a moment to refrain from screaming like a girl inside your mind here.)

I Do Not Scream Like A Girl. I repeat, I DO NOT. Even if I did scream, I will scream MANLY. Why must _you_ even exist in the first place?

(I'm obviously trying to screw up the _normal way_ of how things work in the story.)

This does not bode well for me, maybe I should arrange for a visit with the psychologist to check on my mentality one of these days. I wondered if I am suffering the schizophrenia or MPD.

(MPD?)

**Dissociative identity disorder (DID)** was initially named **multiple personality disorder** (**MPD**), and, as referenced above, that name remains in the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems.

(Aren't schizophrenia and MPD the same meaning?)

Regardless of whether the disorder is termed DID or MPD, it is in no way related to schizophrenia. Although schizophrenia and DID are commonly linked in the minds of lay people, it is a misconception. "Split personality", which has been a term associated with schizophrenia, is not a professionally accepted term for dissociative identity.

With that said, I might as well get acquainted with the alien Voice soon.

(You're taking this rather well, aren't you?)

It does seem like you will be inside my mind for an unknown period of time. Do you have a name or I could just continue to call you the Voice? Should I _even_ dared name you _my guardian angel?_

(_Mon captain. _I would prefer you calling me _your_ _Guardian Devil_. It's the closest to my name other than G0D.)

Humans get _guardian angels_ to guard their back while I got a _guardian devil_ instead. Furthermore, it even took up residence inside my head. How _charming_ this is.

(Like any angels would be _happy_ to be around you.)

However, before I could make a retort, someone was coughing beside me.

Imagine my utmost surprise when I opened my eyes again to find my dearest Postman, standing patiently in front of me and holding out a stack of letters. I also noticed that his clothes are in disarray but otherwise he does not seem to be having any injuries at all.

What was his real name again? I can't seem to place it…

(Opps. I forgot about the Postman totally…)

And why was his outward appearance looking hazy in my eyes? Did he _even_ have a face at all?

(You _don't_ really need to know about his appearance, right? He's simply just a Postman.)

What kind of leader will I be if I can't even remember any of my follower's profile?! I was also created to be a genius with a great mind and a super-enhanced memory in the very first place.

(Fine, I get your drift. I… I will make up a profile of the Postman on the spot.)

What do you mean by… damnit. Now I'm talking with "myselves"…

Well, the strange haze around the Postman clears off and a short list of the Postman's profile finally materializes inside of my head. It goes something like this:

_The Basic Character Template_

_Sourced from Anime/Manga for: Trinity Blood_

_Name: Walter Faye _

_Codename: Postman _

_Rank: Philosophus (4-7)_

_Gender: Male_

_Race: Terran. _

_Nationality: Albion._

_Age: 35_

_Birth Date: 9th of April _

_Astrological Sign: Aries_

_Height: 1.7m_

_Basic Description: A man of lean and delicate build, allowing him to be quick and agile, an oval faced framed by soft, brown hair and hazel eyes were covered by thin framed glasses. Average looks but has stubborn persistency and extremely incredible stalking skills suitable for his 'job'._

_Family background: The only child of the family. By normal standard of the society, he was raised up by a normal family with a normal life. Parents are both still alive and kicking, last checked. _

_History, background: Was once an aggressive stalker who had 'skirt-chased' Cain Knightlord. Proven on various occasions to be extremely hard to shrug off lightly. He was later recruited personally by Cain Knightlord. Now the acting-head of the 'intelligence' for the Rosen Kruez Orden, Manager of the RKOPO Pte. Ltd.._

_Personality: Rational and quick in thinking, calm and quiet. His personality was once_ positively _commented by Cain Knightlord as_ creepy stalker

_Like(s): His superior, Cain Knightlord, who always make an effort to look out for his well-being in his line of work. Totally loves his job of delivering 'things' and stalking people while acting as a spy and gathering secret information. _

_Dislike(s): His superior, Isaak Fernand von Kämpfer_,_ who always like to make his job difficult by setting up tight securities around his favourite recipient, Cain Knightlord, whenever he needs to deliver the important documents to. Totally hates Isaak's guts. _

Ahh... I finally remember _him_. However, what's up with those unusual words of "Basic Character Template" and "Anime/Manga"?

(Are you sure you would like to know about _that_?)

Never mind, I really don't need to know where _that_ came from…

(A bit of appreciation would be nice, you know…)

I asked Walter with an amused smile on how he once again gets past those tight securities that Isaak _loves_ to work with.

(This sounds like fun.)

Let see, my dearest and reliable Postman had to first get past a herd of cyber-hounds that always guard the building I'm living in.

(Why do you have cyber-hounds?)

Isaak was the one who implemented them into the security. Something about keeping out any kind of unwanted intruders. At least he's kind enough to put up a warning notice of 'Beware of Dogs'.

(I highly doubt that will be a helpful warning.)

Walter had to toss a couple of pounds of raw meat to distract the cyber-hounds.

(Raw meat? Since when do cyber-hounds ever eat meat? This's really a loop-hole.)

As if I know about how normal things work in this world. At least the_ lures_ distracted them long enough for the time bombs that are hidden inside to activate and blasted them to pieces of scrap metals.

(Won't the sound of blasting the cyber-hounds wakes up the security?)

Then, next he had to get past the security guards placed behind the entrance of the base. All he had to do was take out his identity card to identify himself as a member of Rosen Kruez Orden.

(That's really defeat the purpose of having guards.)

Afterwards, Walter had to get past the laser-network that filled the hallway leading towards my bedchamber. Our dearest Postman used up a few cans of freeze-spray and seem to be in a bad mood because of it.

(Umm… freeze-spray?)

Where have you been all these years?

(You don't need to know _that_. Just explain please.)

Freeze-spray, the ultimate weapon against laser beams for it freezes them into solid ice and helped to disable the alarm system of the places. It was also one of the famed products of my RKOP Pte. Ltd..

(Let me guess, RKOP Pte. Ltd. literally stands for Rosen Kreuz Orden Productions Private Limited.)

Yes, that's politically correct and I figured that the freeze-spray must have costs him a small fortune and generated Walter's bad mood, since they are not in major production and hard to come by.

Then after he gets past the laser-network, he needed to get past the twin doors of my bedchamber. Apparently, Isaak managed to came up with an electronic triple-lock that will activate the pair of 'killer-machines' that stands guard of my chamber if the password given was incorrect.

(Wow, I really want to see how he ever get past them!)

He got past the security by drilling a large enough hole at the wall for him to crawl into my chamber and walk in without a scratch. That's why the disarray state of his clothes. I really need to get the wall fixed too...

(…That's so anti-climatic and really, the security puts around you seriously needs more upgrading.)

His endeavors never seem to fail to amuse me and always make Isaak grinding his teeth in frustration on his _failures to block_ the Postman out of my private chambers.

(Hey, did you smell a strong smell of vinegar in the air? It tasted just like _sour_ love rivalry fighting over you!)

Strange though, while talking about his recent comings and goings, he never seem to took his lecherous eyes off me and seem to be trying very hard to control his fit of urge to steal me away and then find a secret dark place to do a lot of naughty things to me... But that might be my imagination…

(RAAAAPE!)

Oh sod off.

I eyed disdainfully at the large stack of letters. The envelopes used must have come from my work desk, but I can't seem to recall ever sending out any of them.

(Umm… Whatever you do, DON'T read the letters! At least your last shreds of sanity will be intact, I think…)

Now my interest was sparked up. What _So Special_ about those letters?

(What was it they said? Curiosity killed the cat.)

Lucky I'm not a cat and thus, I took up one of the letters and then opened it. A single photograph falls out and landed on the floor. But it was enough to make my heart stopped for a moment as I caught a glimpse of it.

(What did I warned you before about not reading the letters?!)

I gingerly picked it up and flipped to the back of the photo and saw the words written on it. Another small headache was slowly building behind my eyes as I read over the lines of words there. I seriously considered on strangling the 'culprit', Dietrich, who was currently washed out on my red sofa with my bare hands.

(It's a pity though; he's such a pretty boy.)

However, a sense of wrongness stopped me. My instincts kicked in to inform me that something rather fishy with the situation.

(Now what?)

I calmed myself down and rationally read through it again and a confirmation made my way into my mind. Even though I felt that my headache was settling down to make my head its lair and multiplying like rabbits in heat and giving me a fast growing population.

It was Isaak.

(What makes you so sure that Isaak was _The One?!)_

For pray tell who else could be so lengthy in explaining things and always use quotes?

(Indeed, but we still had no concrete evidences.)

Besides, if it was Dietrich who had done this, he will be writing something along the lines like these:

'_This is a photograph of Abel and Cain.'_

'_From Dietrich'_

Short, simple, straight and brutal to the point. That's the way Dietrich is.

(Okay, I see _your_ point that Dietrich is _straight_.)

Did I capture a sense of innuendo in your statement? You're indeed _lovely_ to have around. Now what should I do to punish my _naughty_ Isaak?

(How about paddle that lovely arse of his?)

Argh! _Bad mental image_. Get it out! Get it out!

(Wow... you really have a very active imagination... Are you bisexual?)

For your information, I have been asexual all of my life.

(Are you still a virgin?)

I refused to answer that without a lawyer.

"My lord... May I take my leave?" asked Walter.

"Yes." I replied and suddenly found my face blushing like a red rose and very aware that my Guardian Devil was laughing at me in the back of my mind. Damnit. I did not mean for the reply to that embarrassing question.

(Umm... Before that, maybe a change of… costumes was in order?)

Which was when I found myself still dressed in Catherina's old clothes and I seem to understand why Walter was looking at me strangely the entire time he was talking about his endeavor. I really felt that my headache had just resurfaces again in handy at the right time…

(Another thing you need to know too. The photograph was also sent to the entire Order, the Empire and also the AX members too.)

The painful headache had now made up a council and having a war waging about in my head. Those stupid pain-killers did _absolutely nothing_ for me!

(That might be your hangover for all you know.)

Still, I'm curious and worried on whether I would lose any followers of mine due to this scandalous picture.

(We shall see about that… You might be surprised.)

_Ha._ I'm _soooooooooo looking forward_ to it.

(Sarcasm does not really suit you at all.)

(End of chapter 7)

A/N: I promise to make up something interesting in the next chapter. Hint: Punishment.

Please review! I live on reviews!!


	8. Chapter 8: The Punishment

A/N: Ah yes, I was thinking along the lines of what happened to Catherina and Tres, therefore I think about it and wrote my (humorous) version of what happened to them or something along the lines there… Ohh… I found a cool website on how to translate a block of text into another language! Yippee!

Thank you to: evilangel990(no more grudges, we're fine now.), MazdaKitsune, Crusnik01 and Passé on an Angel for taking the time to drop me a review.

Updated on: 7th of May 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 8: The Punishment.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Don't ask, figure it out yourself.

**Warning: From now on, shameless insertion of me!! Insanity is ensured. Also some mentions of SEXUAL STUFF in this chapter. You're forewarned! –evil snickers– **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. **

_(Meanwhile, at the Londinium, in an old church; in my point of view)_

Catherina Sforza smiles slightly, reveling in the sweet bliss of peaceful silence the old church provided. Tres was escorting her allies back home in good time after their secret meeting in discussion of overthrowing the evil Rosen Kruez Orden. Her two _underlings_ are still out doing… something menacing to the society.

Known as the Duchess of Milan. A woman of strong will and determination, Catherina Sforza once leads the special operation group AX, a sub-section of the Department of Foreign Affairs. Her subordinates frequently solve cases that involve subduing or eradicating rogue vampires. She strongly advocated making peace with the Empire and the concept of vampires and humans co-existing together.

She joined the Orden after AX was dissolved by Francesco di Medici. In the first place, when Isaak approaches Catherina, she makes use of her negative image of her anger at Francesco and also under the condition of curing her terminal illness to get into serving the Rozen Kruez Orden.

She was joined later along by Tres Iqus codenamed HC-IIIX, Gunslinger. Father Tres was a battle android who wields two guns and works with unemotional, relentless efficiency, much like that of the Terminator. His functions are rather limited to combat situations.

His vocabulary was devoid of emotion and genuine caring much like a computer or A.I., expressing statements such as, "Status report" in lieu of "Are you alright" and "negative" instead of "no". Despite the hollow outward exterior, there have been instances where he displays emotions. He was very loyal to Caterina Sforza, plus he was the third model of the ten 'Killing Doll' series androids ever produced.

Starting out cautiously with Tres by her side, she acts her role as part of the Orden. When she has gained the trust of Isaak who was second-in-command of the Orden, she secretly acts as a spy and sends out useful information to the ex-AX members in preparation of the final war. She knows perfectly well that every time she contacts with her allies, she risks her life in danger.

She had already received reports from her _underlings _that there may be spies within the Orden. This secret meeting may perhaps be the last time she ever meet with the AX members. Meanwhile, the leaders of Albion, Germanicus and the Empire had secretly keep contact each other and pledged to be allies in the on-coming world war. They are ready to fight the final war against the Rozen Kruez Orden.

Her work within the Orden was almost done. She had sowed the seeds of doubt and would wait patiently to reap her fruits. It was also the first time she had been left alone, with no one breathing down her neck and making sure she's taking her medication on time. Praying to God for forgiveness for her sins can wait. For now she had a game to beat.

Recently, when she was researching in around the ancient site, she discovered a lost technology that was built for entertainment. It was a portable game cube thingy called Gameboy. The game cartridges she uncovered gave her endless entertainment in fighting monsters, leveling up characters and beating up the bosses. Plus the story plots of all the games uncovered were usually along the theme of "Evil cannot triumph Good." Wonderful.

Unfortunately, a loud crash rips her out from her bliss. Ah, the _folks_ must be home. Time to put aside her game and go greets _her underlings_.

Oh well, Catherina was given 2 very young _underlings_, a male and a female, to serve and take care of her and Tres. The female underling, Catherina conveniently codenamed her Iron, while the male underling was codenamed as Vampy.

Iron aged 13, looks liked your average little Caucasian girl-next-door. She was a bit on the plump side, skin was tanned brown and had freckles on her face. Her black hair was tied into a short ponytail and she had black eyes. Makes you think that she's an innocent angel but she was strangely uber-super-strong for someone as young as her.

Vampy aged 13, looks liked your average little Caucasian boy that you want to bully him in school. He was skinny, had very pale skin as if he had never been in the sun before. He had short black hair and green eyes. Makes you think he's a vampire who looks quite suitable to wear gothic outfit.

As for their full profiles, because I'm lazy so I will do it another time.

"Lady Catherina! 私達はある手紙を受け取った! (We have received some letters!)" said Iron excitedly. By the way, Iron recently _was in love_ with the arts and culture of Japanese and thus speaking in Japanese as much as possible.

It seems in her moment of excitement, she had unhinged the door too, which lay somewhat… helplessly on the ground. Vampy was scowling at Iron from behind on her antics. Catherina took the said letter with a hint of apprehension and pointedly commanded Iron and Vampy to go inside.

She opened it and saw _the scandalous picture_. A frown marred her face and she flipped over to the back and read on. A long moment of silence was observed which was later broken by Tres reporting being back from his mission.

A tiny twitch of her left eye and a very small hint of smile on her lips which was very hardly noticeable to capture, betrayed her emotions about what she thinks about _the scandalous picture._ Looks like Lady Catherina was amused and quite unfazed about it. After all, she had seen many very unusual things in her life to be able to get shocked brainlessly and easily. She then requested for Tres to destroy the letter and went back inside to continue her game. And of course, Tres dutifully destroyed it…

_(Some moments later…)_

Iron was in very good mood today and was busying herself in repairing the door she unintentionally unhinged. Couldn't really blame her for her unnaturally inhuman strength, right?

As she was doing her repairing, she heard a strange crackling sound from behind the door and decided to investigate it. Strangely, as she stepped out of the old church, she saw that no one was there.

"...こんにちはか。(Hello?)"Iron asks, like a good little B-rated horror movie star as featured in the Japanese version of _'I Know What You Did Last Summer'_. Does she expect the killer's _really_ going to call and say "こんばんは! 私は去年の夏ものを知っている! (Good Evening! I Know What You Did Last Summer!)" back. If he ever did, she would certainly be pleasantly astonished and would also politely offer the man a cup of sakura tea with an innocent _disarming_ angelic smile.

_With a whole bottle of rat poison plus a pinch of Chemical X added in the offered drink for good measure too._

The front yard was also strangely bright yellowish orange for one reason or another. The temperature was also unbearably high too. Not normal for the weather in these days. However, nowadays abnormal things came popping out from nowhere too and it's this season trend. A VERY annoyingly LOUD alarm begins ringing through the Church. Fire alarms seems to be working. Iron blinks stupidly for a good ten seconds as her brain refused to comprehend what was happening in front of her. When finally comprehension stirred in her face, she springs up into action and _screamed_… very literally but still into the language thing. Been there, done that.

"自転車のオハイオ州イエス・キリストキリスト! 神の家は火にある! 私達はPYROMANIAC によって攻撃された! (OH JESUS CHRIST ON A BICYCLE! THE HOUSE OF GOD IS ON FIRE! WE'VE BEEN ATTACKED BY A PYROMANIAC!)"

This looks vaguely familiar… where have I seen this before… Opps, sorry Passé on an Angel…

"オハイオ州の神! か。いるところ! 私のための待ち時間! 私はどこでも続く! 、私跳ぶも跳ぶ! (OH GOD! WHERE ARE YOU?! WAIT FOR ME! I WILL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE! YOU JUMP, I WILL JUMP TOO!)" Iron, being the drama queen she was, continued to scream.

I think that's an overly exaggeration. Wait, I think I spy a Titanic reference over there…

"1 つのコード赤を水平にするために防衛システムを活動化させなさい! (ACTIVATE DEFENCE SYSTEM TO LEVEL 1 CODE RED!)"

Some sort of normalcy seems to return at long last. She's loud.

Good thing the old church's security system still works. Underground grass sprinklers come out from the ground and starts shooting streams of icy water at the site of fire danger, effectively stamping the hazard to the health out.

I am _soooo very tempted_ to make a masturbation joke here, but the existence of the story is rated T for "no explicit jokes about sexual stuff".

_(Back to Cain's chamber; Cain's point of view; my point of view are in brackets.)_

Silently wonder what Guardian Devil is doing...

(Don't bother; it will only destroy you in the end if you continue to keep thinking about it. Just ask.)

What are you doing now, Guardian Devil?

(Right now, I was spending some quality time in solving puzzles. I love puzzles just like my dear friend Passé on an Angel. My current favorite puzzle being Sudoku and as I quoted from her, it's the Japanese art of frying your brain. I absolutely _adores_ it.)

Such an interesting hobby you have. You really have to teach me that some time.

(You wanna play Sudoku?)

Yes, about this Japanese art of frying the human brain, how do you go about that?

(… Actually, Sudoku is a logic-based number placement puzzle. The objective is to fill a 9x9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3x3 boxes contains the digits from 1 to 9. The puzzle setter provides a partially completed grid. Completed Sudoku puzzles are a type of Latin square, with an additional constraint on the contents of individual regions. Leonhard Euler is sometimes cited as the source of the puzzle, based on his work with Latin squares The modern puzzle was invented by an American, Howard Garns, in 1979 and published by Dell Magazines under the name "_Number Place_". It became popular in Japan in 1986, when it was published by Nikoli and given the name Sudoku. It became an international hit in 2005. This short summary is taken from Wikipedia…)

I thought you meant it could be used in the torture chamber…

(Duh. I never meant it literally… Wait a minute… You have a personal torture chamber!?)

How else do you think that I can rule the Orden with such an iron fist? The naughty ones must always be punished for their erroneous ways. However, it was only restrict for the use of discipline and apply only on the Rulers of the Silver Star, the highest ranks after me of course. The lower level members will be taken care of by their superiors…

(This is so traumatizing for me…)

Oh well, since you have nothing to do except playing puzzles, you might as well help me think up of a suitable punishment for naughty Isaak.

(What does Isaak feared the most?)

I believed it was something about _my reputation…_

(Use that to your advantage. Why don't you ask Dietrich for help too? I bet he can watch and record down the whole punishment thing and then told elaborate stories or gossips about it with a grain of truth to make it hurt like hell.)

What a wonderful idea!

(And also why don't you ask Walter, our dearest Postman to come later…)

_(After an hour of discussion…)_

It seems that Isaak had somehow found out that I already know who the real culprit behind this prank is. I send out a summon for him to be present in his private chamber.

As he arrived, he noticed that Dietrich was sprawled comfortably on the luxurious sofa, changed back into his normal clothes. While I was sitting lazily on his bed, beside my beloved and still unconscious Abel, with my back against the wall. Of course, I was changed back to my trademark uniform, I sent Catherina's old garb of clothes back to her which I believed to be burning right now.

(You know, this is a great setting for threesome or even foursome if you can count in Abel…)

Don't corrupt my mind with the _bad mental images_. I don't want to hear about _it_.

"My lord, for what purpose do you wish for me to perform?" asked Isaak.

"Isaak, it seems that my education is somehow incomplete. Therefore, I would like you to educate me on _this awkward matter_ of mine." I replied. Hee… Isaak had absolutely no idea just what I and my recently new-found friend had come up with a suitable punishment for him.

(I only contribute on how to punish; I did not strongly advocate it!)

Spoilsport! You know you want to.

"And what's the matter you wish for me to educate you?" Isaak asked warily, as he saw that Dietrich was suddenly grinning openly and seems to be mocking him silently.

"Well… I need to know about some facts about Sex Education, also know as Sex Ed for short. _Preferably, with hands-on demonstration…_" I answered with sweet innocence…

(Okay, that's way too creepy for me…)

You worry too much; it's just simply an _education_ that I have not received before.

"… … … … … "asked Cain fervently, for his thirst for knowledge.

"… … … … … " answered Isaak, as best as he could put the answers in scientific form.

"… … … … … " smirked Dietrich, giving an overly detailed translation of Isaak's words.

(Above conversation was censored out due to its M-rated content. Isaak was actually required to explain all the… _awkward questions_ brought forward by Cain and also give lectures on information regarding to Sex Ed. Dietrich was _translating_ and giving his dirty version of the lectures to Cain, when Cain was confused about the unknown strange terms he heard. _Simply use your imagination…_)

(Well after some long moments later, the 2 hour-long lectures were finally near to its end. However, one surprisingly stupid question was brought to my attention.)

"But Isaak, how do men use condoms?" asked Cain.

(Are you serious?!)

What do you think? I'm just trying to torment Isaak there.

(Oh yeah, I just remember that you're _still_ a virgin even after 900 years.)

Hmph. After today, every one in the Orden will not question about whether I'm a virgin or not...

(Wha-)

"You just need to slip it on." Isaak deadpanned. Dietrich was snickering uncontrollably.

(Truly, this was perhaps the harshest punishment given. Think about it, Isaak wants to protect his lord's _innocence_ from any information that will corrupt his beloved lord's mind, but was requested to give his lord a lecture on _Sex Education_. The irony of it…)

"How about a hands-on demonstration?" said Dietrich slyly, with mirth twinkling in his eyes as he stared with a lustful expression at Isaak...

(BACK OFF! DEVIL WITH THE ANGELIC FACE!)

"Please?" I smiled with the anticipation of a naughty child who was waiting for his prey to fall trapped into the prank he set up beforehand.

(_Don't push it…_)

Isaak suddenly turned around with his back facing them and called upon one of his shadow minions.

(Umm… is that the limit of Isaak's patience?)

Who knows? We will find out soon. See that? Isaak lifted his right hand and gestured. Then the minion dissolved into the ground. Some moments later, the minion comes back cradling protectively over something. Only a small flash of yellow can be seen… I wondered what was that _thing_?

(Me too.)

Next, I see Isaak commanding his minion to hold up the _thing_ for us to see. It was…

(Oh the suspense! Tell me what it is?!)

It was a banana.

(Huh?!)

And then Isaak proceed to take another strange rubbery plastic thing from his minion's outstretched hand and wave it in front of my eyes. Dietrich seems to know what it was at first glance, for I captured a spark of recognition in his eyes.

(Why do I get a _very bad vibe_ about this?)

And then Isaak slipped the rubbery plastic thing easily onto the banana.

(Do you get a good look and understand what the use of that rubbery plastic thingy was?)

With that done, he turned toward us and said in a tone of finality: "This is how you slip the condom on."

(Oh. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE T-RATED!!!)

Stop your whining. Besides, you have to give Isaak credits for teaching you how to use a condom, with a banana as a substitute tool in demonstration.

(Dude, I don't think I can take this anymore… AHAHAHA!!)

I see. You have lost your bearings.

"Isaak, thank you for your _intriguing_ lecture on Sex Education. Dietrich, thanks for your interesting interpretation on Isaak's lecture. I have wonderful time learning and intend to use it to _my utmost benefit_. Both of you are dismissed." I said happily while I glanced sideway at my beloved brother beside me.

Isaak blanched as he saw this while Dietrich looks at both me and my brother with sudden hungry interest.

(You did that on purpose, right? So as to give them a wrong idea on what you're gonna to do.)

You really are my dearest mind-reader, aren't you?

(Eep. I want my mummy…)

How curiously amusing. Are you a lesbian?

(_Ha! _Questioning about my sexual preference now? Don't you think it's a bit late for that?)

No questions asked are late.

(I'm straight for sure. Women don't catch my interest. Handsome men do.)

Once they are out of my room, I get on with a _little exercise_ and stretching on the bed, while also making a lot of convincing moaning and groaning sounds. I even jumped up and down hard onto the bed to make up a lot of the _thumping_ sounds. I knew that both Isaak and Dietrich are both still behind the door and trying to make out what I am up to. Hopefully, I'm convincing enough.

(What're you up to anyway? I don't recall anything about this in our previous discussion.)

After an hour or so of the _exercise_, I proceed to do a bit of tearing and ruffle up of me and Abel's clothes to look as we have been engaging in some kind of _activity_.

(I get the feeling this is gonna be really the cause of death of everyone... who died laughing…)

Hmm… something else was required. Ah ha! The most important piece of _evidence_!

(What's that?)

The bed sheet. I just need to add a touch of blood on it. Therefore, I slit my left hand with my sharp fingernail and watched the blood flow on to the bed sheets. My wound slowly heals and closed up as I willed it later. There all done. Time to get into the act.

(Why must you do that?)

I smiled mischievously at Guardian Devil's question. You will see the light soon my dear...

(…I'm not going to get myself killed over this light thing. Not At All.)

I proceed on and flung open the door, holding the bloodied sheet in my right hand. Standing outside of my room, I see Dietrich, Isaak and also Walter. Isaak's face paled instantly when he saw the bloodstained sheets. While Dietrich was giggling with glee over it.

Walter. Ahh… just the right person for the job…

"Walter… I need you to take a picture of this bed sheet, make several copies and then send them out to the entire Orden. You know what to do when you write behind the picture, right?" I asked.

"Yes, my lord. I know what your intentions are. Permission to speak my mind?" Walter smiled.

"Yes."

"Please hang the bloodstained sheet outside for everyone to see. It was also part of the ancient custom." said Walter.

"That's kind of you to remind me. It will be done." I smiled even brighter at this and called a servant to do just what Walter had suggested. Isaak promptly fainted on the spot and Dietrich was there to catch him and later carry him away, perhaps back to his own room. I retreated back into my room and started my little laughter of victory.

(Okay. What's so funny?)

Ah hee hee… Mm, just something I read years ago.

(-my left eye said twitch, twitch- Uh-huh. And what was that?)

My lips twitched as if wanting to grin. I don't know how, but I just knew it was something Guardian Devil wasn't going to like it much. Hee…

(You own me an explanation; I don't understand why Isaak fainted because he saw the bloodied sheet.)

Ages ago, there was an ancient custom. After a man took his virgin bride for the first time, he would hang the bloodstained sheets to prove she was pure, and the marriage was consummated.

(Huh. That's a nice history lesson, but what's that got— Wait a minute… YOU DID WHAT?!)

Yes, it has everything to do with that ancient custom. To _prove_ that me and Abel are _not virgins_ now and _deflowered_. Hee…hee…

(But…but… THAT'S NOT THE TRUTH!)

Ah hee hee… The easiest way to fool someone is to let them believe what they want to believe.

(Did you just take that quote out from watching the movie _'Red Dragon'_? Why am I here in the first place? This is insane…)

Tch… It's was also part of his punishment.

(Does Walter know it all along?)

Why yes, of course. He's the one who suggested this wonderful idea. Do you still remember that Walter totally hates Isaak's guts?

(Now I feared for my sanity…)

Hmph. You have already lost it a long time ago when you come and stayed in my mind along for the bumpy ride into utter madness as you put it.

(HEY!)

(End of chapter 8)

A/N: I hope you people enjoyed reading it! Yes, if you're wondering, the idea of how to use the condom with the banana as substitute tool was once teaches by a professor (his humor is very dry, as commented by my friend) to his group of students during biology class. My friend experiences the lesson first-hand. I wished I was there to see it being conducted… it will be extremely fun to watch.

Oh yeah, by the way, I do requests. So drop me a review to tell me what kind of request you would like to see in the story. I will find a chapter to fit them in!

So please review!!!


	9. Chapter 9: Harassment

A/N: I was reading the story: How to Make a Trinity Blood OC Work by the author Kusumita, when I come across this fabulous idea for humor/parody: Try an OC that is out of the ordinary. A 70 year old woman who's an old cougar that has the hots for Hugue… I'd totally read that story.

**Then I think about it, so why not try writing it out! After all, this is Insanity!!!**

By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation.

Special Thank You to Kusumita for letting me "steal" your idea. XD

Thank you to: Passé on an Angel, evilangel990, Crusnik01 and Ninja Wings for taking the time to drop me a review.

Updated on: 12th of May 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 9: Harassment.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): Forget about asking me, I will never talk about it. Go figure it out yourself.

**Warning: From now on, shameless insertion of me!! Insanity is ensured. Also some mentions of SEXUAL STUFF in this chapter. You're forewarned! –evil snickers– **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. Oh yeah, I have nothing against homosexuality.**

_(Somewhere on the street of Londinium) _

-Rubbing my forehead to ease the headache I manage to get from mind-reading into Cain's thoughts- I'm still feeling rather cheated and angry at Cain's those _stupid antics_ in proclaiming himself not a _virgin_ and _deflowered_, while dragging the poor unconscious Abel along for the ride. _Go read the previous chapter for further enlightenment._

Therefore, here I am out of Cain's mind for a little break, while looking for something else to occupy my time. Really, I truly must try to get a cable or something. My life's freaking boring and poking fun of Trinity Blood characters in the long run seems like inflicting cruelty and mental or physical abuse on them. I bet they do not really know who's really tormenting them in this story of mine. Nor do they likely want to make acquaintance with me. Whatever. Let's get on with the story.

A figure was walking silently on the dimly lighted street late at night. As the figure moves under one of the brighter street light, it reveals a woman. At first look, the slender woman seems to be in her thirties. With a delicate face of a porcelain doll, she wears a slicking red lipstick and an outrageously bright red dress which could be considered skimpy.

The dress was short-sleeved with a v-shaped cut low in the front, baring a lot of milk-white skin and complimented her shapely figure. At knee-length, the dress parted like waving waters and reveal to the whole world of her nice pair of smooth legs. She was also wearing a pair of black leather boots and wrapping a nice warm black shawl over her shoulders against the cold wind of the night. In her left hand she holds her little silver purse, while strangely in her right hand she holds a walking cane.

However, if you would to looks closely at her, you would find that her pair of black eyes looked very out of place with her seemingly age. They looked to belong to an even older person that had seen many things. Added with the graying wisps of shoulder-length brown hair should say something of her age.

Okay, enough of the description, that's not the whole point of this story. This new character introduced here was named Adina Courtland. If you are curious as well, the name Adina means "slender, delicate" in Hebrew. This is the name of a soldier in the Old Testament. Of course, in modern times it is used as a feminine name. Back to the story.

Adina was enjoying her little walk back to the inn she staying in for the night, after a little disappointing visit to the local bar to hook up a handsome young man for the night. Yes, you read it correctly. She was actually trying to prey on handsome young man for sex. This is as blunt and T-rated as I can get. As for the rest, _please use your wonderful power of deduction. _

She was thinking happily of meeting her dearest relatives and also their agreeable employers the next day. It had been 3 years since they last met due to Adina's wander-lust and insatiable dream of meeting up handsome young men for sex, but they kept in contact through writing letters. In their previous letters, they seem to be getting along well and they also said something about having nothing much to be excited about. She also got the impression that one of their employers was male and very handsome but otherwise very robotic in response. This surprise visit would surely cheer them up and also her sex-ego too. 'All is right with the world. Yippee!' Adina thought.

As she walked and as usual swayed her way nearer to the inn, a young man with _very average_ looks slips out from the alleyway and moved to stand in front of her, blocking her way. He openly leered at Adina: "My, my… what's a lady like you doing out here at night? How about a dinner date with me?" At this, he gives a feral smile at her showing off his sharp white fangs. Argh, what kind of lousy pick up lines are that?

"No thank you. Firstly, I _love_ handsome males. Secondly, you are too freaking ugly for my taste." replied Adina grimly. Yes, I totally agreed with Adina. Who would _ever_ want to go out with _that _Loser any way?

And then she used her walking cane to hit the vampire's nose directly, breaking his nose into a bloody pulp in the process. YEAH! SHE SCORED! OLE OLE OLE! And then she runs quickly past him in the hopes of getting into the safety of the inn, which was some distance in front of her. RUN ADINA! RUN TOWARDS THE FINISHING POINT! -Guardian 0 Devil is currently singing a song recursively with something on the lines of 'you are my champion.'-

Too bad for her, the vampire recovers quickly and with a smooth sweep of his leg sent Adina falling face-down on the ground. This caused Adina to have bit her lips and blood break loose from there, dripping a bit down her chin.

Ouch, that's must have hurt a lot. -face cringing-

"Damn Terran. If you have gone along quietly with me, I would have treated you nicely and give you a quick death." said the vampire, who was brutally holding Adina up by her hair.

"OW! OW! OW! STOP PULLING MY HAIR! OW! MY PRECIOUSSSS!" screamed Adina. She's loud, which vaguely remind me of someone.

Wait, I think I spy a Lord of the Rings reference. But that might be my imagination…

"Slut, prepared to face a slow and agonizing death." sneered the aggressive vampire, who's currently find that pulling someone's hair could be so fun, especially said someone was screaming over it. Dude, has anyone ever told you that's not the nicest way to die with all your hair being pulled off for a woman?!

"Let that lady go. If you don't, you shall die." said a tall stranger who was wearing a black priest outfit and a black hood to cover half of his face. Where the hell did he come from?!

"Where the hell did you come from?" shrieked the vampire in shock, his voice goes a few octaves higher. Very surprisingly he spoke out the question that everyone must be thinking about at this moment.

"From that (point, point) alleyway you have come out of." replied the stranger calmly.

"You Have Been Stalking Me?!" once again, the poor Loser shrieked out loud, his voice miraculously goes even higher like a singing soprano. Apparently he's rather freaked out by being stalked by a male Terran. -Rubbing my poor sore ears from all those _screaming attacks_ dealt on it-

However, that does makes so much more sense now. Ah… you people must be silently wondering who this tall male stranger is… Mysterious, mysterious…

Oh well, since I'm not good at writing suspense and so of course to cut to the point, this stranger is none other than Hugue de Watteau. I truly really don't know how Hugue does it, but he always seems to show up when a woman is being attacked by the vampires. Duh, it's so typical of him. -Rolls my eyes up-

"Ha, I will kill her first then you next." replied the vampire haughtily and calmly now. My sincere apologies dearest Loser, you have _never _stood a chance in _ever_ leaving this chapter alive in the first place…

"Umm… a little help will be appreciated here. This S.O.B. was stronger than me, enough to hold me down and... I can't see clearly. What with all those yellow twinkling stars twirling in a circle in front of my eyes." commented Adina. Hmm… that must have been your hangover of the night for all you ever know.

"Die then." replied Hugue and in a blink of an eye, the vampire was decapitated.

Huh? -blink, blink- Damnit, I did not catch how he does all that cool moves… My eyes are _sooooooo_ not suited enough for the job of capturing fast movements. And yes that's my freaking curse of the day… I mean night.

"Oh my, that's was some a-freaking-mazing sword skills." said Adina, before she fainted.

I bet you people thinks this is pretty anti-climatic that Adina simply faints instead of throwing herself at Hugue. Well dear readers, don't worry about it, _you shall see it very soon._

_(The next day…)_

Adina wakes up to find herself alive and sleeping in the inn's bed. When she asked around, it appears that the unknown, kind stranger had carried her back to the inn and leaves her there without another word. She certainly felt a sense of regret of missing all her excitement and fun in seducing her 'knight in shining armour' into her bed…

Actually, it should be a man of God in a black priest outfit. However, it was not an every day occurrence to be saved by a priest! A skilled swordsman at that! Adina silently wondered _how good_ he is in bed, since she had some experience in that area. Especially those sexually repressed ones are usually the most sexually active ones in the privacy of the bedroom…

Gawd, Adian please stops your trail of thoughts! This story's existence is T-rated! Don't corrupt my readers!

Oh well, it's a 'you win some and you also lose some' situation. At least she's get to appreciate the one of a kind sword skills. Now she should be getting to visit her dearest relatives. She found the address easily, it happen to be an old church nearby.

Strange this looks vaguely familiar… -my left eye said twitch, twitch-

As Adina knocked on the door, a girl opens the door and she was none other than Iron. What the hell?! No wonder this looks so familiar! Um… I mean… Yeah surprise, surprise! -shifty eyes-

"GRAND-MÈRE! (GRANDMOTHER!)" exclaimed Iron VERY LOUD. Apparently she's still in the language thing, except that now she's a great fan of French arts and culture. –Sigh- Same old, same old. Wait, Adina and Iron are relatives. No wonder I find them vaguely familiar. See the family resemblance? They are _extremely vocally loud_. And nope, I don't meant it in bed at all!

"Why Talitha, you have grown so much taller! Where's Anan?" said Adina happily. Looks like she had no problem understanding Iron at all.

"Il est hors de faire des emplettes pour l'épicerie. Nos employeurs sont dehors pour leur propre travail pour toute la semaine aussi. (He's out shopping for grocery. Our employers are out for their own work for the whole week too.)"replied Iron enthusiastically.

Okay, perhaps it's time for me to explain a bit. Adina Courtland is the 70 years old Grandmother of Talitha Courtland and Anan Courtland. Both Talitha and Anan happened to be first cousins as both their fathers happened to be brothers and sons of Adina. Their unknown and mysterious Grandfather happens to be one of Adina infamous one-night stands. Yes, you read right. Get this new piece of information into your head; I'm still lazy to do the full profiles anyway. Maybe one day I will do it… and then again, maybe not.

Adina was later invited in to stay at the old church for a few days. While the both of them are busy talking, time seems to flies by fast and the evening draws nearer. At about 5.30pm, a knock was heard and Iron went to opens the door to check out. At the door, a tall blond stranger, wearing black priest outfit and carrying a long staff.

"Est-ce que monsieur, avec quoi je peux vous aider? (Sir, what can I help you with?)" asked Iron politely.

The stranger seemed a bit surprise at this and gives a small smile and replied: " La chère dame, mon nom est Hugue de Watteau, un prêtre de Dieu. J'espérais trouver une église de Dieu et demander à rester pour la nuit. Regardant autour, c'était l'église la plus étroite dans le secteur. Est-ce que je peux parler avec celui ayant l'autorité ici? (Dear lady, my name is Hugue de Watteau, a priest of God. I was hoping to find a Church of God and ask to stay for the night. Looking around, this was the closest Church in the area. Can I speak with the one having the authority here?)"

Yeah Hugue again! Go figure, talk about coincidences.

Iron was feeling a bit unsure of how to act as both her employers are out. Just then Adina rush to the door excitedly while screaming: "ANAN!!" and then before Hugue knows what the hell happened, both his cheeks are filled with red smudges of lipsticks and saliva. Eww… that's disgusting… But I have to admit this new image was quite refreshing to see, beside his usual face of calm and silent demure. Hugue looks positively scandalized.

"My dear boy, it's been a while since I last seen you! Come let me have a good look at you!!" With that said Adina proceeds and squint both her eyes and looked at the poor Hugue up and down. I wondered what she will be doing to poor Hugue next.

"Oh my, you have grown so much taller. What's this?" she gave a pinch of his arse and then slaps it hard, which greatly surprised Hugue seeing that he jumps a little. Adina continues to squeal: "Oh sweet lord, the years have been kind on you! Look how firm and bouncy your arse is!!" Hmm… that's a juicy piece of information. Hugue's having a nice piece of arse. Yummy, I would _love_ to have a piece of it… -cough, cough- Ah sorry, I was carried away.

"Umm… Madame… I think" Hugue was trying to explain and get out of the woman's bear hug. But it was futile on his part, Adina was extremely strong. Which also clears up where Iron got her uber-super-inhuman strength from…

"Oh sweet Anan! What this?" Adina exclaimed loudly while she proceeds in slipping her hand underneath Hugue's clothes to feel around. "You have been working out I see." Of course, Adina was feeling around Hugue's beautifully structured six-packed abs. Whatever are you people thinking of anyway? Hello? Remember that this story is under T-rated existence?

"Grand-mère, il n'est pas Anan. Ici, mettez-dessus vous des verres. Il est Hugue de Watteau, un prêtre de Dieu et de demander une nuit de rester à cette église... (Grandmother, he's not Anan. Here, put on your glasses. He's Hugue de Watteau, a priest of God and asking for a night to stay at this church…)" said Iron, looking sheepishly apologizing at Hugue, while she hands Adina her pair of glasses. Did I ever mention that Adina was seriously myopic in the eyes?

Adina puts on her pair of glasses and looked once again at Hugue and then she gives another energetic outburst: "OH! I recognized you! You are the one who saved me from that stupid vampire last night!! MY HERO! Please accept my appreciation and thanks!!!"

Before Hugue can react, he suddenly found himself reluctantly holding Adina up from falling off as she circled both her legs tightly around his waist while ravishing thoroughly his mouth with a very experienced French kiss...

"EWW! I am truly traumatized, to have seen a 70 year old cougar kissing a young man that is at least 40 years younger and who's a priest some more. Darn, someone please erase this _bad mental image_…" commented someone.

Adina broke off her kiss and glared hotly at the person who interrupted her: "Ah there you are, Anan!" The said person who had come back from shopping for grocery.

"Just call me Vampy, I prefer it over the other name I have. Who the hell would named their son Cloud?" complained Vampy unhappily.

"Vos parents. (Your parents.)" commented Iron with a sweet smile on her plump face.

For your curiosity, Talitha means little girl in Aramaic, while Anan means Cloud in Hebrew. Poor Vampy (Anan that is). However, I do know one certain character in Final Fantasy VII that's named Cloud Strife; so dearest Anan, you're not alone in this.

"Come Anan, Thalitha. Greet Hugue nicely! He's the one who saved my arse and protect my chastity last night from a vampire! And he's staying for dinner and the night!" squealed Adina.

Vampy rolls his eyes up: "As if you have got any morality left in you. What's with you chasing after every hot and handsome young man that crosses your line of sight for sex?"

"How about because the sex in the end was _soooooo fan-freaking-tastic_?" said Adina coyly while batting her eyes at Hugue like a blushing 20 year old. Argh, stops that. Really, I strongly agreed with Vampy that a 70 year old cougar kissing young men is truly very traumatizing. Gawd… _the bad mental image_…

Then he gives a look-over at Hugue, who's still holding Adina reluctantly, and continued: "But I have to admit you do have good taste." And then Vampy proceed to pinch Hugue's arse. Well, everybody let us sing Ricky Martin's song of 'Shake your Bon Bon!'

Wait. Vampy's gay? I did not foresee about that. Hmm… the possibilities…

Poor Hugue getting a lot of molestations in a single day… Fun though. –snickers-

_(Inside the old church's kitchen.)_

It was around 6.00pm, that Adina finally let go of Hugue and invited him in. As evening was fast approaching, Vampy went to the kitchen and prepared for dinner. He does not trust Iron to come and help out, what's with her inhuman strength and her knack of breaking things.

He also does not trust Adina enough to be in the kitchen. Who knows _what_ she _will be_ _adding_ in the food next. Vampy vividly remembered hatefully, that Adina adds in _an extra ingredient_ last time she help prepared dinner.

Just what did she add? I see the question you readers had in mind which also appears floating in the air. Adina added in the powder form of Viagra into the food. 'Argh… _The pain in the arse because of it…_'thought Vampy.

NO! I never meant it literally. So get your mind out of the sewage system.

"May I help in preparing dinner too. This is the least I could do for your kind hospitality." cuts in a voice.

Vampy jumps like 2 feet high into the air, nearly knocking off the table in the kitchen and spun around to see who's talking. It was Hugue, possibly just having a narrow escape from Adina's clutches by coming into the kitchen wholly forbidden by Vampy.

"Darn. You sure are silent on your feet and give me quite a scare just now. Whatever, help me cut those carrots, onions and peels the potatos. I'm cooking some beef stew tonight." said Vampy.

Hugue silently moves to the ingredients, the chopping board and the chopping knife to a table and starts chopping the onions expertly. Sweet lord, I absolutely _love_ handsome men that know how to cook.

"Why do you call yourself Vampy?" asked Hugue suddenly.

"Perhaps due to the fact that I do have an unknown Methuselah for a Grandfather." replied Vampy.

"Vampire." hissed Hugue softly, he clutches the chopping knife in his hand hard.

"Haha, Surprise? For hundreds of years, the real distinction between a Terran and Methuselah has long been forgotten. The truth is, the Methuselah is just a Terran who happens to be infected with a Bacillus. In the past, this Bacillus would turn an infected into a "monster" or animal hungry for blood, nevertheless the Methuselahs refuse to be called "vampires"." replied Vampy with a wry tone.

"The term "Methuselah" was taken from Noah's grandfather who was rumored to have lived for 900+ years. Not all people however are compatible with the Bacillus. If for instance, if you get bitten by a vampire and the Bacillus enters your bloodstream somehow, you do not necessarily turn into one. In fact, the likelihood is you either get your brain damaged, the Bacillus in your blood will be dormant and act as red blood cells or some other form of reaction." Vampy continued on.

"What kind of reactions are you speaking about?" Hugue ask warily, a hint of murderous intention in his voice.

"Truth is, there are different reactions among people who are infected with the Bacillus. It needs to be "awakened" in order for its effect to take place. When it lies in your blood and is dormant, it looks and acts like a normal red blood cell. A Methuselah may be able to walk under the sun and use silver at this point. This is the reason why these vampires have a memory of being under the sun and being able to eat using silver utensils. Oh yeah, do you mind pass me the salt please?"

Hugue politely pass the bottle of salt to Vampy. Such a gentleman. But then the killing glare of his is enough to turn off any other improper thoughts…

"When the Bacillus awakens, it starts its effects in the body. There are several main effects of the Bacillus awakening; Sensitivity to sunray, slowing down of the aging process, reaction towards silver and repressed reproductive system. These effects could happen over a period of time, or it could just happen in one go." said Vampy unwarily; not sensing his life seems to be in great danger.

"So what do you know about the cause of sensitivity to sunray and reaction towards silver?" asked Hugue, now with curiousity. Though he did not let his guard down, seeing that he's still holding the chopping knife in his hand. It's a good thing I'm not a vampire, I _never ever_ want to get onto his bad side of it…

"UV Light increases the activity of the Bacillus in the infected's blood stream. It increases their activity so much, to the point that the Bacillus consumes everything in its path. This gives the image of a vampire, who is subjected to exposure under UV light, of "burning". The truth is, the Bacillus is just eating every single cell in the vampire's body…" Vampy paused a little while here, catching his breathe and thinking about it.

"You could say that the Bacillus is consuming the vampire from the inside. The smoke coming out of an event such as this is caused by water vapour brought about by this chemical reaction, and not because the vampire is burning. An event such as this will only leave the bones of the vampire, looking as if it has been licked clean, and removed of it's bone marrow. When the Bacillus finally consumes everything, it consumes one another until they are annihilated." Vampy continued on happily, seeing that he had an audience, still oblivious to the danger.

"Silver temporarily stops the activity of the Bacillus. This means that once it reacts with the Bacillus, it renders them useless, and hence the vampire becomes more of a human. The silver does not kill in itself, it is the fact that the vampire becomes more of a human, that stab or shot on the vital organs will obviously be fatal. Some vampires drink liquid silver in order for them to temporarily walk under the sun. This liquid silver is made such that it minimizes the discomfort on the consumer's part." Vampy continued talking and still _very_ unaware that Hugue is standing behind him, his chopping knife posed for an accurate attack of giving immediate death…

Sometimes ignorance is really a bliss in disguise…

"You're saying that you drink liquid silver so as to walk under the sun." said Hugue flatly.

"Oh, you got me wrong. Another effect of being infected with the Bacillus is the repression of their reproductive system. If a human male being has intercourse with a female vampire, though she is less likely to be pregnant, her offspring will become a vampire. However, if a human female has intercourse with a male vampire, the offspring will just be a normal human. This is true unless the human female turns into a vampire during such intercourse, through the exchange of bodily fluids."

"So what are you actually? A human or a vampire?" asked Hugue icily. –Shivers- Meep, now he's absolutely scary.

"Both me and my cousin Iron are humans if you're that worried, seeing that both my father and Iron's father are born as normal humans." said Vampy sadly.

"You are related?" asked Hugue in surprise.

"Why yes, Iron is my first cousin, seeing that her father and my father are fraternal twins. Adina Courtland happens to be our Grandma, who has a fling with an unknown Methuselah." replied Vampy with an amused tone over his unusual family tree.

Hugue then walks back to the chopping board and continues chopping away the onions, silently absorbing all the information given. Vampy try to engage Hugue in a talk but was only given a monotonous answers of 'yes' and 'no'. Frustrated, Vampy went over to go through his bag of grocery. That's when he finds out he's missing one of the ingredients. "Strange, where did it gone? Whatever, I will find it later. For now we need to prepare dinner." mumbled Vampy.

_(At the dining table.)_

Time now is around 7.30pm. The dinner is spread out deliciously over the dining table. Adina was sitting on the right side of Hugue. Vampy was sitting opposite of Hugue while Iron sits beside Vampy and facing Adina. Hugue said a little prayer and then the dinner starts.

Of course, a _polite_ conversation was engaged.

"Anan, ce qui vieux puma signifie vraiment réellement? (Anan, what does old cougar really means actually?)" asked Iron curiously.

"An old cougar is one of those older than your mother type of women who look good for their age (or plastic surgery) that go after young men for sex. They wear skimpy, too young for their age clothing and try to act fifty years younger." replied Vampy and pointedly looks at Adina for effect.

To which, Adina bristled her hackles up. A look in her eyes promises that Vampy will really get the taste of vengeance from her. While Hugue observed all this with his patented 'I'm so cool' face. Really, maybe someone should sue him for it. He's looked too perfect with it.

"Anan, pourquoi avez-vous pincé le cul de Hugue plus tôt ce soir? (Anan, why did you pinch Hugue's arse earlier this evening?)" asked Iron innocently. However, her question caused Hugue choked on his food. Thank you Iron, your contribution in tormenting Hugue will not be forgotten.

"Hugue! Let me help you!" squealed Adina at the chance to touch Hugue as she patted hard on Hugue's back. Woman, stop your mad cooing over the guy if you still want to continue to live your life! I'm serious, what with all those much younger fans out there really to strangle you… Besides, I don't intend to die young too. -Shifty eyes-

"Oh about _that_," he looked slyly at Hugue, then at Adina before he continued: "It's because I find Father Hugue _extremely_ attractive."

This caused Adina to look up in surprise at Vampy's direction and asked: "What do you mean by that?"

"Grandmother, there's something I believed you should know, but it will be hard for you to accept this truth about me. It means that your grandson, that is me, is gay." replied Vampy smugly. "There, I explained my reason." and Vampy waited curiously observing Adina's reaction. He expected Adina to be _either_ screaming at him for being gay _or_ accepts that he's gay and leaves it at that.

However, Adina's next move is not what anyone expected.

"Talitha, please be a dear and pass me that bowl of mashed potato." came Adina's reply.

"Umm… Hello, Grandmother? I just said I was gay, could you please at least said something of what you think about this important matter?" asked Vampy puzzled.

"Oh Hugue! You definitely must try this wonderful sweet beef stew!" exclaimed Adina loudly. It's obviously that Adina is entirely ignoring Vampy.

"HELLO! YOUR GRANDSON HAD JUST COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AND ADMIT TO THE WHOLE WORLD THAT HE'S GAY! SURELY YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO SAID TO HIM?!" shouted Vampy, who's feeling increasingly frustrated and not having the correct attention that he feels he should be receiving.

"Anan, my dear boy." said Adina solemnly. Which caused Vampy to flinch slightly and suddenly regret that he shouted so loud to get his point across. He wondered what Adina would do to him…

"Would you mind pass the pepper?" asked Adina, with a beautiful smile on her delicate face. As if she had not even heard about Vampy's confession of being gay… Or that she just totally refused to acknowledge it by ignoring about Vampy's little outburst.

Hugue and Iron both watched this exchange of words silently. I silently wondered whatever really had happened here. Argh. I am _still freaking clueless_ about what transpired over here!!!

Oh well, the rest of the dinner is continued with much more heavy silence, until Hugue choked once more on his food. After he calms down, he said: "Madam Adina, I would really appreciate that you keep your hands to yourself."

It seems that Hugue had felt someone was touching and stroking his lower portion of his right leg underneath the table. So his first suspicion is pointed at Adina, seeing that she always like touching him without permission. However, Adina innocently raises both her hands up into the air. The touching on his leg sneaks further up to his knees.

Hugue then stared pointedly at Vampy who's sitting opposite of him for he remembered that Vampy had commented that he found Hugue attractive. Vampy catching his glare follows Adina's move and also raises both his hands up. The sneaking touching had now proceeded nearer to his upper thighs. This time Hugue, Adina and Vampy turns their heads as one to stare at Iron.

"Thalitha, kindly remove your hands from my Hugue at once." growled Adina, feeling a bit possessive over her possible sex interest for the night.

"Huh? Que voulez-vous dire par celui? Ne pouvez-vous pas me voir utilise-t-vous mes deux mains pour manger ce pilon de poulet? (Huh? What do you mean by that? Can't you see I'm using both my hands to eat this chicken drumstick?)" asked Iron in huge puzzlement. Indeed both her small hands are occupied in holding the chicken drumstick.

So if it's not Adina, Vampy and even Iron, just who the hell is touching Hugue's leg underneath the table? It can't be that Hugue is touching himself for fun, right?

…By the way, I Did Not Implied It As Innuendo At All…

Therefore, Vampy and Iron got around to their side of the table. All of them are watching intently down at Hugue's lap which is covered by the white table cloth. As he lifted it up, what they saw shocked them into inaction and screaming out responses…

Yes, even I am also quite distressed by this event too. I bet anyone would be feeling very out of your mind if you ever find it on your leg, inching closer to your inner thighs.

Vampy: "My missing ingredient!" Why can't he at least have the sensibility to keep track of things.

Iron: "Pourquoi n'était-il pas a-t-il fait cuire aussi ? J'apprécierais plus de nourriture. (Why wasn't it cooked too? I would appreciate more food.)" –Sigh- Please at least have the politeness to be considerate to others than thinking about having more food.

Adina: "I would never look at it in the same way again." -Rolls my eyes up again- Woman, why can't you keep your mind free of _dirty thoughts_ for just a moment? Would you _really_ like to see me _try_ using a bar of soap to wash your _dirty mind_?

Hugue: "… …What is this thing doing on my leg?" Poor guy, I give you my heartfelt sympathy. _Really I mean it!_

Well, it was a living and crawling crab found on the upper thigh of Hugue's right leg. Yes seriously, that's Vampy's missing ingredient. Surprise, surprise!

However, dear readers, I simply can't take it anymore. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hugue gets molested once again!! BY A CRAWLING, FREAKING ALIVE CRAB NONETHELESS!!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!

Please excuse my uncontrollable desire for laughter. My sincere apologies to you, dearest Hugue. Now back to the story.

Before the crab can do anymore _serious damages_ to Hugue, as in physically assault him in any way, Vampy deftly caught the crab's pinchers with his hands and walks off to the kitchen and cook it for Iron's consumption.

Still, the mental image of Hugue being molested by a living crab is seared deeply into my mind. Now I really can't look at the crabs the same again too. Maybe I shouldn't have written it down…

_(Later that night)_

It was about 11.15pm late at night. Hugue helps Vampy to clear up the table after dinner and also washes the dishes. After an _excitable _evening with that _'crab affair'_, Adina, Vampy and Iron turn in early for sleep.

Hugue was feeling a bit of restlessness; therefore he was standing in front of the altar in the old church and practicing his staff-sword. Wearing _only_ his long black trousers by the way. Ohh… look at those tasty, sweaty muscles. –drools-

After Hugue had finished up his daily sword practice. He walked towards the public bathroom to get a nice hot shower. After that he returned to his room and was not very surprised to see Adina sprawled inelegantly and sleeping on his bed. Hugue sort of expected it, when he had been picking bits and pieces of information in the evening.

Adina had tiptoed into Hugue's room and was apparently waiting for Hugue to show up by presenting herself seductively on his bed. However, Adina fell asleep after waiting patiently and bored to death in Hugue's room. What Adina does not know was that Hugue was having a sword practice to avoid this kind of situation.

Hugue's mouth twitched as if he wants to smile. Being the gentleman he was, he covered Adina up with the bed sheet considerately and makes careful pains in not waking her up. Who knows what will Adina resort to do in order to get Hugue in bed. Then he searches around for his clothes and went out of the room.

_(The next morning)_

Hugue left a note thanking Adina, Vampy and Iron for their kind hospitality. Adina sighs regretfully and was trying to recount the event when she touched Hugue's nice abs…

Damnit! She's really a sex-pervert. Thankfully, Vampy and Iron did not inherit this from her at all.

(End of chapter 9)

A/N: Yippee! I have done it! I hope you people like that and it gives you laughter too! By the way, I'm doing requests for this story! So do review and tell me about it too!

This is the longest chapter I have written so far! Oh man!


	10. Chapter 10: No Laughing Matter

A/N: As I said before in the previous chapters, I'm doing requests and all you have to do is just drop me a review OR private message me to do it. And I'm still taking requests.

Thank you to: Passé on an Angel, evilangel990, Crusnik01 and Kusumita for taking the time to drop me a review.

**Request by MazdaKitsune: Torment Cain with naughty Abel thoughts.**

**Request by Crusnik01: Dietrich running around singing about his puppets, Isaak sighing about that. Cain was make to kiss Abel.**

As you people can see, I'm combining two requests into one chapter. I think it makes my life easier in thinking up ways to make you people LAUGH!

Updated on: 21st of May 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 10: No Laughing Matter.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): No use in trying to ask me about it. Go figure.

**Warning: Insanity is guaranteed. Shameless insertion of me from now on! Also some mentions of SEXUAL STUFF in this chapter. You're forewarned! –evil snickers– **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation. **

_(At the dining room in the main base of Rosen Kruez Orden)_

Let us all recapped some past events.

(How _kind_ of you to do that.)

It was about 8 months ago since I fight Abel above the skies of Londiniuim. 6 months ago, that I woke up from my recuperation unit and secretly plotted to assassinate the young Albion queen.

(Just get on with the main part. You know that I know that you really want to just brag about your accomplishments.)

7 days ago, I went to the New Human Empire Royal Palace, drained _my dearest youngest sister_, Seth of all her blood and also carried an unconscious Abel back to the main base.

(Yeah, it was mentioned in chapter 4…)

6 days ago, I woke up to find a wonderful hangover and also a new friend to boot who likes inhabiting in my mind and called herself my Guardian Devil. Also surprisingly, I was prank on by my most trusted servant, Isaak, who sent out _scandalous pictures_ to the entire Orden, the Vatican, and also the ex-AX members…

(Now this happened to be around chapter 7…)

One day ago, I summoned Isaak and Dietrich to my private bedchambers, to give me a thorough lecture on Sex Education. I also managed to provide _scandalous evidence_ of a bloodstained bed sheet that strongly suggested about me and Abel _being deflowered_…

(Which happened around in chapter 8. This is one chapter that makes me love and hates it so much with opposing feelings.)

Today, I find out that most of my followers rushed back to pay me respects and give me their utmost adoration and worship and also their blood oaths of swearing fealty to me and only me. I feel really flattered. The others who are in the middle of their work send back letters proclaiming that they will come back as soon as possible after they are finished with their work at hands.

(I am still angry with you, do you even acknowledge that?)

Life is good.

Happily humming a little out of tune piece of nursery rhyme of 'Humpy Dumpy', I walked gracefully towards my place of dining. The room I had walked into is domed-shaped and was artfully designed to be impressive and majesty to let recently joined 'new blood' to say "Wow…" when they entered.

(_WOW… why am I so amused?_)

Tch. I see, my dearest Guardian Devil and your sense of sarcasm was not lost at all during our little 'Cold War'.

(I'm still angry with your stupid stunts.)

I see. You missed me. _Real Bad._

(Did you just imply innuendo?)

Come now, surely it's about time you start talking with me.

(One of these days, I'm gonna take you on a small trip to visit a shrink at IMI…)

Oh well, as one walked in, one will surely notice a '9-steps' dais, where elegant dining tables are arranged at the sides of the large rising platforms with a long red and luxurious carpet covering the middle.

And according to my followers' ranks and their importance, their dining tables will be arranged something like the pyramid. For example, followers with the ranks of Magus (9-2) will be situated at the dining table at the second-highest platform, while those with the lowest ranks of Neophyte (1-10) will be given a place at the bottom lowest platform.

And naturally to say, my dining table happened to be situated at the top of the large stairway, where the red carpet ends. However, it's a little annoying to be walking up the '9-steps' dais. You see, each step of the dais, was large enough to accomodate a lot of people. Furthermoe, the dais is shaped somewhat like a terrace or a side of the stairway pyramid, where the lowest platform is large and slowly narrows up to a single platform on the highest level of the dais.

As always, when I entered the crowded dining room, conversation was cut short and every pair of eyes snapped to attention on me. However, this time I was carrying my beloved sweet brother, still-unconscious Abel, bridal style in my arms. Their eyes are filled full of adoration and worship. How wonderful these powerful emotions I can gathered up in the mass.

(You just like to crave for attention.)

Ah… now you know my little dirty secret… you must be _annihilated._

(Why am I not surprised? However, are you sure about me getting out of your life?)

Actually, I would prefer you around to keep me amused. Life's a bit boring without you around when we're having the 'Cold War'.

(Which only lasted about a week…)

I settled down at my rightful place and carefully arranged Abel to sit in his place so that he will not fall off ungracefully onto the floor. With that done, I send a glance over at my followers beneath me. Everything falls under my glancing yet watchful eyes, for I am curious to what my followers make of the _scandalous picture_ and even more _scandalous evidence_ of my bloodstained bed sheets.

(I really want to strangle you. Right here. Right now. However, due to the fact that is a very unwise move and also very impractical to be done when I'm inside your mind in the first place, I will settle for other means of revenge.)

What _other means_ are you talking about?

However, before I can get an answer out of my-friend-in-mind, Isaak disrupted my thoughts and complained to me: "Master Cain, do you think it's appropriate for Dietrich to be spreading… rumors like that?"

Vaguely wondered why he sounded so stressed out and turned my head to look at what kind of _damaging mischief_ Dietrich managed to come up with at the moment. As I mentioned before, Dietrich does have the strangest ways to ruffle up the feathers of Isaak into disarray.

(Oh my! What lovely dolls he had!)

Dietrich who was sitting at his dining place on the third-highest platform of the stairway, and controlling a pair of lovely-made dolls that… looked like the miniature version of Dietrich and Isaak. They looked so life-like that I nearly mistaken them to be the younger versions of Dietrich and Isaak at first glance. What Dietrich was doing, was that he was using the puppets to do a _stimulation gossip_ to the 'new blood' who are absorbing his every word…

(You make it sound so dirty…)

Well, listen to what Dietrich was narrating about and you will agreed with me.

Puppet Dietrich: "And then when Isaak saw the bloodstained bed sheets he promptly faints on the spot."

Puppet Isaak: "Noooo…."

(I don't see anything so _stimulating_ as you have suggested.)

Puppet Dietrich: "Luckily I was there to catch him…" and then the real Dietrich using a few twitches of his fingers to re-enact the scene, "and then I carried him into my bed room to rest for the night," in which the puppet Dietrich makes a _grand show_ of effort of carrying puppet Isaak in _damsel in distress style_ for the audience.

(That was _intriguing_... Don't start lecturing me abo-)

I told you so, didn't I?

(I really hate you right now.)

"However, the _unexpected situation_ arises…" in which puppet Isaak was doing the unthinkable… like straddling and being pinned down easily by puppet Dietrich…

(Now that really weird and creepy to see puppets doing that. No matter how... life-like they are...)

I think you worry too much, both the puppets are still wearing clothes. Well, at least some decent amount of clothes anyway...

(What happened to the clothes when you said it in such a suggestive tone? )

Let see, both puppet Dietrich and puppet Isaak managed to get their own clothes in such a disarray during their little struggle between who gets to be... I believed the word used is Seme... in this case...

(Oh the irony...)

The real Isaak then softly whimpered like a kicked puppy to me: "_Master…_" in which this soft voice of protest was suddenly magnified throughout the dining room with a small last sound of echo of "_Master…_" Did I ever mentioned that any small whisper make in this special domed-shaped room will be magnified a thousand times throughout and make it clear and crystal?

(Obviously, only just now.)

And then the real Dietrich grinned impishly and then puppet Isaak was suddenly whining: "Ahh! Master! Right there! AHH!" In which the real Isaak blushed hotly and viciously glared at the real Dietrich and his puppets. The others in the dining room looked on the show between the puppets and also the real ones with huge interest.

_He never failed to amuse me. _

(I strongly agreed. However, this will be a nice time to step in…)

Smiling regretfully, I politely and firmly asked: "Dietrich, please stop teasing Isaak. And put away _those_ puppets…"

Dietrich shrugs and put away _the_ puppets he's using to tease Isaak. However, out of no where, Dietrich produced two more puppets. This time, both the puppets are like the miniature versions of me and Abel. I silently wondered what he's planning…

(Now, this is getting interesting…)

And then very suddenly, the entire dining room was absolutely silent as they paused in their dining and conversation to stare hungrily at Dietrich, thirsting for the _so-called true story_ behind the bloodstained bed sheet of me and my beloved brother Abel. I never feel so full of pride for my little mishief I have done so far.

(…_I will get you back for_ _that unfortunate incident_...)

The entire room of audience patiently waits for Dietrich to begin his unique style of _story-telling_ to starts. Dietrich slowly opens his sweet, gossiping mouth and the audience sits up even straighter in their chairs. Some went as far as standing up to lean over their tables so as to get closer to hearing Dietrich…

I have to admit, I'm so jealous of all the attention Dietrich manages to gather and silently gives a killer glare at Dietrich.

(Hmph. Why don't you do something _drastic_ to snatch back your _well-deserved_ attention?)

Like what? Killing Dietrich on the spot?

(That's not what I have in my mind.)

Give a command to both Dietrich and Isaak to _shag _each other in front of everybody in this dining room?

(As they said: Your wish is my command. It will be interesting to note down their behavior, but it's not highly recommended.)

So what else do you suggest me to do in order to take back everybody's span of attention onto me?

(Oh, I don't know. How about _doing_ Abel in front of everybody?)

WHAT! You Want Me, also the Greatest Lord and Master of Rosen Kruez Orden, to Attempt to Make Sweet Sensual Love to My Sweet, Idiotic and Virgin Abel In Front Of Everybody?

(Huh? You sure are dirty-minded about it… and I never even suggested that at all in the first place…)

Then just what do you mean by _doing_ Abel?

(I mean…)

"Our most respected Master and Lord Cain with his beloved Abel are sitting high up in a tree…" suddenly, Dietrich starts singing loudly.

My thoughts are pulled abruptly away from my Guardian Devil. Silently wondered where this leads to…

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G" continued by Dietrich in his sing-song voice. Isaak looks positively appalled about it but sighs regretfully about being unable to do anything to stop Dietrich.

(Now that's what I'm having in my mind when I suggested about _doing_ Abel. You should _try_ kissing Abel to snatch back attention…)

Kissing Abel. Very tempting. _Yes, very, very tempting thing to do_. Now why are my followers looking suspiciously at me? Do they doubt the _scandalous evidence _that I provided them with?

(There are some people who would _rather see_ the truth being placed in front of their eyes to be able to really believe it.)

So what should I really do to _convince_ them, my friend?

(Simple. Just get on with Kissing Abel!!)

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

(Yes! I want to see their reactions on their faces when they seen you kiss Abel! It will be a joy to see and write it down for my readers!!)

I turned to look at my sweet brother and greedily drink in his innocent beauty as he sleeps. His soft white hair frames his fair delicate sleeping face, those beautiful lips that are just the right curves and shape... I wondered how soft they feel against my own lips...

(Ohh… look at that exposed white neck… Don't you just want to lick it?)

Damn you and your naughty encouragement!

(Ha. That's your _curse_ of the day! Get it? You are being _cursed_! Wahahahaha!)

That's got to be the lamest.

(You mean how lame? Did you break your leg?)

Yes... I mean I did not even break my leg in the first place. Where did you get the idea?

(Oh, sorry. I just thought it up. You see since you answered _'Yes'_ to my question of you breaking your leg, you are _lame_. Wahahahaha! You are _lame_! You are _lame_!)

That was not funny at all…

I can sense strongly the tension and anticipation of the roomful of my followers looking hotly on my handsome face and glaring a little angrily at my beloved brother _a little too much…_ How dare they try to touched what's mine!

(My dear, they are just glaring with their eyes not touching Abel indecently with their eyes…)

A sudden image of my followers trying to undress my sweet Abel came unbidden in my mind. NO! ABEL IS MINE! MINE!

(You got the issue of getting too possessive. No wonder Abel throws you out of the spaceship those 900 years ago.)

I really can't help it when Lilith tried to take away my love of my life from me and I decapitated her because of it.

(Dude, you really need to get laid more often…)

So you say. Beside, since I'm now the centre of everyone's attention I might as well use the opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do.

(And that is?)

I elegantly moved my body closer to Abel and slowly, slowly as I lowered my lips with my eyes focused on my followers underneath me, I kissed Abel to seal the _stories_ circulating around.

_On the lips._

(Oh. Mai. Jesus Christ.)

Whose currently not with you at the moment. Please leave a message after the 'beep' tone.

(I really need to run the lame joke a few times to actually get the meaning behind it… And you're enjoying this _far too much_…)

Everybody else in the dining was doing different animation acts to express their disbelief over the actions of their most respected lord and master.

(I'm trying very hard to laugh, but I find myself rather speechless with the variety of displays...)

I try to comprehend the strange situation in front of me. I see there are some who decided to cast upon themselves the twirling circle of bright yellow stars in front of their eyes as they are being floored. A famous tune, or should I say infamous, was also heard as the yellow stars start singing by themselves…

(Now that explained why we're hearing the tune of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars' being sung along too every time we see those very famous stars that seem to always appear in front of our eyes…)

Some opted to be floored theatrically onto the ground…

(Any kind of pattern you can detect?)

Yes, I see them as clearly as the Sun shines down on Earth. They got the options of:

A) Start foaming at the mouth and rolls their eyes back, and then be floored.

B) Make do with a _scandalized face_ and then be floored _either_ with utmost grace _or _with utmost embarrassment.

C) Lift a hand to their forehead and said: "Oh G0D…" and then be floored.

(I feel really flattered by that last option when they tried to call upon my other name.)

Others are doing the animation of _either_ the sweat drop _or_ having three straight and black lines slowly appearing on their foreheads…

(Okay, that's another weird way to express their feelings.)

There are also others, who prefer to cast a small cold wind twirling and swirling in front of them or beside them. To add a touch more to the effect, some little green or dry yellow leaves are used to make the effect colder and a more physical appearance of the wind…

(I think they are trying to say that they are feeling rather cold at the moment...)

Last but not least. There are some who decided to release a big black crow from out of no where, that totally fly above them crowing: "Caw… Caw… Caw…" and not surprisingly also magically leaves behind a trail of black "dot, dot, dot." as it flies past…

(This had got to be lamest chapter I ever wrote here… No one is laughing at all…)

Obviously, this is not a laughing matter at all.

(End of chapter 10.)

A/N: Hopefully, you people are not too disappointed with this chapter. Please read and review to tell me what you think about it!

By the way, I also got another new story uploaded too. It's called Rainbow Life, a story hopefully to make you laugh too. Do go and read and review this story too!!


	11. Chapter 11: Part I: Who's That Girl?

A/N: Sorry folks! I know I have not been updating this story as frequently as I can. Admittedly, I was more focus on another story: Rainbow Life. Thanks for waiting patiently for more than a month for this.

In response to Crusnik01: Well, I got to read the Chinese translated version of all published Trinity Blood Novels when I came across a live blog some 4 years ago. It's a good thing I got a strange hobby of keeping a copy of any written works I was fascinated for my own reading pleasure on my computer, as apparently the live blog now was restricting any access to everyone.

In response to Liryc for pointing out my mistake. It does seem that I'm always confusing with the past and present tense whenever I try to describe things.

**Explanation (even though it sounds like a pathetic excuse) for those who also had noticed my grammatical mistakes:**

When I first start out writing the draft of the story, I initially wanted to write a cross-over with Hellsing. However, since I wanted to at least tie up some loose ends of what happened after the epic battle between Cain and Abel over the skies of Londinium before jumping into the cross-over, I wrote out a Prologue. When I'm done, I discovered to my utmost shock that I had written a more then 14 pages Prologue. Considering that I really can't image myself writing at least 14 pages for each and every chapter, I gave up continuing writing out the story and put the draft aside. It was only recently that I rediscovered my old works that I decided to try rewriting it by breaking up the Prologue into more than 15 chapters.

Since then I was trying to rewrite the draft in the past tense when in Cain's or another character's point of view. Well, basically all the chapters should be in past tense since they ALL are part of Cain's Reflections (Since Chapter 1) of events happened during a whole year after the epic battle over the skies of Londinium in the last episode of the anime series. Any following chapters uploaded after Chapter 1 are still part of the Cain's Reflections until I uploaded a specific Chapter? to END the Cain's Reflections.

As for the present tense and past tense overlapping I had also been using, I believed this happened to be more apparent when I appeared as the "invisible inhabitant" of Cain's mind starting from Chapter 7. I thought writing in present tense should make some sense since I was also speaking (a more appropriate word would be mind-talking) to Cain; while Cain's thoughts should be done in past tense as he was still reflecting about the events since Chapter 1.

Hopefully, this explains something about my writing actions in this story.

**End of Eplanation. **

As I said before in the previous chapters, I'm doing requests and all you have to do is just drop me a review OR private message me to do it. And I'm still taking requests. Anyway,

Thank you to: evilangel990, Crusnik01, Ninja Wings and Liryc for taking the time to drop me a review.

**As requested by evilangel990: A fangirl for Dietrich. **

Updated on: 8th of July 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 11: Part I: Who's That Girl?**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

**Warning: It's confusing for me too… Whatever! Anyway, INSANITY is still the main ingredient of this… insane story. Insert hysterical laughter here.**

Pairing(s): I think it's obvious enough. (Shifty Eyes)

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation. **

* * *

_(In Dietrich's point of view.)_

One month had pass since the amusing fateful event that took place in the dome-shaped dining room. It was one of the many things that my lord had done that made me follow him so willingly. For I can never attain the perfection that my master Cain had achieved in doing what he had done so far.

Playing with my lovely dolls in my own room was one of my favorite hobbies. At least no one was staring lustfully at me while I try to act out the wonderful scenes I had in mind for Isaak. I'm sure Isaak will be in shock if he find out about it. Giggles.

Still, it's getting boring and I decided to get out of my room to take a little trip to Isaak's room and pester him for a bit. Perhaps he will let me comfort him? Hmm… The sweet forbidden possibilities. After all, he must have been heart-broken to see his dearest innocent master kissing his brother in front of him and also nearly the entire Orden and thus proclaiming about his twisted love for his brother and sealing the credibility of the rumours going around. Giggles.

Walking down the long narrow corridors, passing by many rooms with strange sounds coming from them, I was intercepted on my way by none other: Lady Catherina.

"Lady Catherina, to what do I own the pleasure of your company?" I asked politely.

"Dietrich. I see you're going to comfort your… upset _acquaintance_." smirked Lady Catherina. Very irritatedly.

I narrowed my eyes slightly in suspicion. I always distrusted her for I simply do not believe she had joined the Orden for revenge and the betrayal she had claimed. However, without evidence there's nothing I can do to persuade Isaak to eliminate her. She's a sly snake that's for sure.

"Maybe. Maybe not." I answered in riddle like way in response, the nice defense mechanism I used to confuse my preys.

"Really? Hmm… I wondered…" she said. Without warning, I felt myself on guard on what she's going to said. My fingers slowly slipped into my pant pockets and felt the cold metallic wires that comfort me. I can't let this Lady Serpent had a hold on me. Strangely, this reminds me of a biblical story my Father read to me as bedtime story some long, long time ago.

* * *

The Temptation. 

The serpent tells the woman that she will not die if she eats the fruit of the tree: "When you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."

Fall.

So the woman eats, and gives to the man who also eats. "Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons."

The man and woman hide themselves from God, the man blaming the woman for giving him the fruit, and the woman blaming the serpent.

God curses the serpent, "upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life;" the woman He punishes with pain in childbirth, and with subordination to man: "your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you;" and the man, Adam, He punishes with a life of toil: "In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground."

Adam names his wife Eve, "because she was the mother of all living."

Expulsion from the Garden.

"Behold," says God, "the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil." God expels the couple from Eden, "lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever;" the gate of Eden is sealed by cherubim and a flaming sword "to guard the way to the tree of life."

* * *

I think that's about the summary of it. Anyway, that will be Catherina's nickname from now on. Heh. Lady Serpent. What a wonderful nice ringing to it. Perhaps, I should take up a course in learning certain manipulating skills from a certified snake charmer; that's if the snake charmer had survived and escaped from the clutches of The Department of Inquisition. Giggles. 

"Have you ever wondered what our Master's thinking in that genius mind of his? All he seems to care about is his pathetic excuse of a brother and also the destruction of the world. Really, sometimes I wondered…" Lady Serpent said with a drawl, it seems like she had decided to bare her poisonous fangs at me.

"Wondered about what?" I asked with a sneer.

"That after he had _exhausted_ the use of the Orden… Or should I said get bored of the Orden, he would simply throw it away like what he always does to his other toys." said Lady Snake.

I looked up at her in the eyes; I'm being careful in not letting myself fall under her trance and replied: "It's possible."

"Oh? Aren't you a little worried? That he will abandon you? Or worst possible scenario, he will kill you?" she asked.

I giggled insanely as I found her questions quite amusing and strangely unrelated to me. Now she's looked surprise at my reaction.

I stopped my insane reactions abruptly and looked at her in what could be described as a bored face with a chilling smile added to it: "I'm just plain bored."

"Bored?" she asked.

"Oh yes. Bored." I replied. With that said, I slowly walked past her to move towards Isaak's room.

"What are you bored of? Dietrich." she asked in confusion.

I paused. I can felt her calculating eyes trying to burrow holes into my head. Without turning my head, I replied: "Living."

I smirked silently in my mind. I bet I had gotten her confused then ever about me. Playing with human minds does bring a great satisfaction to me. I continued to walk towards my destination after making sure that the Lady Serpent was not following me.

However, as I turned around the corner to walk into the next corridor, I bumped into a very fast moving object.

Next thing I knew, I found a young girl of aged 13, and looks liked your average little Caucasian girl-next-door, that was sprawled on top of me. She was a bit on the plump side; skin was tanned brown and had freckles on her face. Her black wavy hair was tied into a short ponytail and she had ebony black eyes.

Strange though, it was her beautiful pair of ebony black eyes that vaguely reminded me of Isaak.

"AHH! OH JESUS CHRIST ON A SHOPPING SPREE! I'M SO SORRY!! ARE YOU HURT? DO YOU NEED FIRST AID? MOUTH TO MOUTH RESURRECTION? OR AMBULANCE? I'M SO SORRY!" screamed the girl loudly.

Blink, blink. One thing for sure, she's LOUD.

"Do you mind get off of me first?" I suggested gently. The young girl quickly obeyed.

I stand up wobbly and begin dusting off my clothes. Hmm… Interesting girl. I wondered what kind of surprise she can give me. I look at the girl and found that she's looking at me strangely.

"Are you Dietrich?" she asked shyly. I smiled innocently and give a nod for her confirmation.

"OH FREAKING JESUS CHRIST FREAKING OUT!! THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING! BUT IT DOES!! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!! YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE IDOLS. I SIMPLY ADORE YOU!! WILL YOU SIGN AN AUTOGRAPGH FOR ME?! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!" screamed the girl once more.

Ouch. I think my ears are starting to bleed from all that LOUD proclamation. I decide to just go along with this strange and LOUD girl to see what she got up her sleeves.

"What's your name? And where do you want me o sign for you?" I asked. Maybe I should buy earplugs. You never know when you would need them. Like right now.

"PLEASE SIGN HERE ON THIS BOOK!" the strange girl replied and amazing out of nowhere an obscenely shocking pink book appears in her hands which she opened to a page and shoved it into my face.

P-A-I-N. Oww… …

My pretty angelic face was getting a _nice massage _with all that violent handling against the rough texture of a disgustingly pink book. Now I need to apply more skincare products by the end of the day. I can't have my attractive face ruined; for if ever I intend to… let said deceive some innocent girls like for instance, Esther. Or I could even choose to use my sweet innocent looks to seduce a particular _someone_.

I snatched the offending book out of my face and looked at the strange girl in the eye: "Please wait for a moment, there is something of utmost importance to take care of right now." The strange girl nodded her head with fanatical adoration in response. I then proceed to take out my little hand mirror from my breast pocket and check out how serious the damage was to my face.

"… … … …" was the only response I had.

Not good at all. I think my face was nearly disfigured due to the forceful bruising against rough pages of a stupid book. I can even see the very infamous telltale sign of blue-black bruise starting to show up on both of my cheeks.

I need to apply BeautyCare. NOW.

BeautyCare, one of the very few effective facial care products in this pitiful existence called Earth, should be able to take care of the serious problem. The ingredients used for the making of the lotion: Purified Spring Water, Licorice extract, Vitamin C, Aloe Vera, Vitamin E, Black Pearl Powder, blah, blah, blah and also the Top-Secret Ingredient.

BeautyCare, for very fair and soft skin. A light, non-greasy lotion that is instantly absorbed leaving skin smooth, supple and moisturized. Licorice extract and Vitamin C help whiten and refine your skin to restore it to its natural fairness. Enriched formulation with the skin enhancing benefits of natural Aloe Vera and Vitamin E. In addition with the Black Pearl Powder and the Top-Secret Ingredient to ensure the removal of scars and other skin defects. This product is Allergy tested.

It was so very popular among the wealthy and vain vampires, who preferred calling themselves Methuselahs, that they sought after it like a dog to its bone. Well, one had to take into consideration that having pale and unblemished skin tone was still the fashionable trend in the New Human Empire. Plus the additional benefit of using BeautyCare was that Methuselahs can heal even the most stubborn scar or skin defects.

Beside that, even if they don't want to continue using this particular brand of product, they do not have much choice in that. For these so-called pathetic Methuselahs, once they had used this product, they're addicted to it. There's a special ingredient that compelled them to continue in using this product. Afterall, BeautyCare was also one of the valuable and famed products of RKOP Pte. Ltd.. We can't have our customers leaving us that easily right?

Excuse my rudeness, RKOP Pte. Ltd. literally stands for Rosen Kreuz Orden Productions Private Limited. Yes, how else do you think that the Orden got the financial means to do the terrorism?

However, the addiction to BeautyCare was not as effective for the normal humans. It's better than nothing, considering that I'm also using it. G0D knows how many bottles of the very expensive and very rare BeautyCare face lotion I may need in order to repair the damages done to my pretty face.

Once I'm sure that I had used up 2 full bottle of the expensive face lotion in fixing the damages, I then looked coldly at her and asked: "Do you have a pen?"

She stared at me for a moment and then her entire body seems deflated the next instant.

"…no…" she whispered.

Giggles. What an interesting girl.

"Oh well. In that case…" I let out a yawn. From the side-glance I saw that her eyes are starting to brim with wet tears. Grin. So easy.

"Lend me your index finger." I said conspiratorially. A wonderful idea pops out in my mind.

Her tearful eyes widen in curiosity as she holds out her index finger for me. Then in the next instant, I make her finger starts bleeding with a small slice of my metallic wires. Using her blood, I finished signing my autograph onto her precious book. I'm sure she will always treasure it.

The strange girl seems to be in shock as she was still standing there at the same spot with her bleeding index finger outstretched in the air as I left her. I wondered if she's scarred for life. Hmm… Definitely not my problem.

I whistled a little tune and walked towards Isaak's personal room. Just as I walked into the room, I suddenly remembered that I still had not gotten the name of the strange girl. It was just as I was thinking about this and standing in front of Isaak's door when I heard a very LOUD shout: "AAARRRGGGHHH! OH MY JESUS CHRIST ON A BICYCLE! I FINALLY GOT AN AUTOGRAPH OF DIETRICH!"

Which sadly was just behind my back, I think my ears were ringing with that entire ruckus she's been making.

In the next instant, in response to the strange girl's outburst, someone suddenly opened the door and shouted back: "SHUT UP!!"

The even surprising thing was that it was Isaak who did that and even more curiously noted was that he shouted into my beautiful face. Really, I just discovered to my utmost amusement that Isaak could shout that loudly.

Isaak was blinking cutely at the sight of me; I supposed he thought that he was shouting at the strange girl. Next, he gave me a weary smile and said: "My apologies. Please come in."

Then he turns and looked at the strange girl behind me sternly and said: "You can come in too. But do not touch anything."

My curiosity perks up as I silently wondered: Who's that girl?

(End of Chapter 11.)

A/N: Ahahahaha. I got the feeling if I don't upload any chapter soon, you people will be more than ready to strangle me. Hopefully, this chapter amuses you readers. Do review and tell me what you think!


	12. Chapter 12: Part II: Who's That Girl?

A/N: Muhahaha. When I have read about the last reviews, I noticed that most of you are very curious about this particular fangirl with Isaak. However, I'm being E-V-I-L over here; you readers won't get to know about her till next chapter. Muhahaha.

**Yeah!!! Happy National Day!!! Tomorrow 9****th**** of August, it's my country, Singapore's birthday!!! **

Oh another note, I will probably most likely to update this story once or twice a month, depending on my mood and whatever kind of ideas appeared in my mind. I know I'm being slow in updating lately for this story, since my focus is more on another story, Rainbow Life.

**Thank you to: Ninja Wings, MazdaKitsune, Youko1776 and also komi moss. I really appreciate your reviews!**

**As requested by evilangel990: A fangirl for Cain. **

Updated on: 8th of August 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 12: part II: Who's That Girl?**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

**Warning: It's confusing for me too… Whatever! Anyway, INSANITY is still the main ingredient of this… insane story. Insert hysterical laughter here.**

Pairing(s): I think it's obvious enough. (Shifty Eyes)

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation. **

* * *

_(In Cain's point of view; my point of view are usually in brackets)_

Sigh. I'm getting very worried over my dearest sweet yet idiotic brother of mine; Abel was still in coma ever since that little fight…

(Err… which catfight are you talking about?)

The one we had within the Royal Palace of the New Human Empire... Hey, that does not qualify as a catfight!

(Ha. Finally you caught on; I was wondering when you would notice about _that_ little detail…)

Having fun on my expense? You won't be laughing if you're in my shoes.

(Actually, I'm in your head; your wonderful mind to be precise. So I can laugh all I want when I'm in there. Ha. Ha. Ha.)

Hmph. Well, let me said it clearly about what I mean. I'm saying that you won't be laughing if your dearest sweet sibling was still in regenerative coma for like about more than a month?

(Hmm… I think I see your point. Soooo, what are you going to do about Abel?)

That was my main concern now. I'm not sure about it what should I do about Abel's state of health. I'm feeling uneasy thinking about my sweet Abel never to wake up from his sleep...

(I have absolutely no idea on why Abel is still in coma. Really. -Shifty Eyes-)

Lately, I'm getting too distracted in thinking and experimenting about ways to let Abel at least wake up from his coma… And I'm also getting into accidents because of this distraction…

(Speaking of accidents…)

OWIE!

(Huh? Dude what happened?)

Ow… I just tripped over a chair and fell face flat onto the floor… Ow…

(... …)

Annoyed Glare. Guardian Devil, I give you two choices right now; Either Laugh Or Cry.

(… Err.… I don't think that's important right now… gulp…)

Choose one option. NOW.

(Hahahahahahahaha)

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH! DON'T LAUGH!

(I'm sorry… gasp… haha… but you stated that I can laugh or cry… beside I had been controlling my reactions so hard that… ha… gasp… I can't help but… gasp… let it burst out from me… hahaha…)

Murderous Glare.

_Fine._ Laugh all you want. I'm now taking Abel over to Isaak now.

(Wahahahahaha…)

Grumbling under my breath about Guardian Devil's childish behavior , I easily carried my lovable yet foolish baby brother of mine; my darling sleeping beauty, Abel that is, up from the master bed we now share and decided to go over to Isaak's room for a nice and thorough health examination check-up.

(Now I'm presenting you the latest news flash also known as gossip.)

What?

(Cain and Abel sleeping together! Cain and Abel sleeping together!)

Roll my eyes up. That's old news gal. _Ancient. _

(Oh-kay. What about this news flash? Abel getting the most thorough aka meticulous aka anal probe about his body.)

I thought I make it clear to you that Abel getting the best medical care I'm trying to provide- Hey! Take that back!!!

(-Very Innocent Look-What?)

You know that I know that you know about what I'm talking about…

(-Still Very Innocent Look-What?)

That Anal Probe Thing!!!

(Oh. -Grin- Sorry, it's just an expression… I mean a slip of my mouth… )

Hmph. I get it. You're still very pissed off about that particular incident over me and Abel _getting deflowered_? That's why all those irritating, sarcastic remarks you're making. Pay back, right?

(Whatever makes you _sooooooo sure_ about that? Hmm?)

…Never mind…

_(At Isaak's room)_

Standing outside Isaak's room, I vaguely wondered if this was really a good idea at all.

(Why? I thought you want Abel to recover as fast as possible from his state of coma.)

Of course I wanted him to recover! It's just that…

(I get it; you're worried about the 'anal probe thing'…)

Thanks to your stupid comments. Now that making me jumpy for Abel's chastity…

(Heh. Get over it. I know that you know that I will not _ever_ allow it to happen.)

Your efforts do not make me feel all that comfortable at all… Considering about your _pains_ during the whole of that particular _deflowering_ incident…

(-Glare- Who's fault is that? _Don't push it…_)

Anyway, since I'm using both my arms to carried Abel, I decided to use my leg to kick the door in front of me.

"Knock, knock." said the door.

"Coming!" Strangely, a female voice replied back to me from the other side of the door. Wow, here's another news flash; I did not know that Isaak was bisexual…

(Hmm… isn't it too early o start jumping to conclusion? Beside since when's Isaak fey?)

My trail of thoughts was broken when the said door in front of me was opened by a young teenage girl. She a short, plump and very young girl with black hair and eyes, with some freckles on her face and currently staring in undisguised awe at me.

"Hello! You're…" asked the shy yet cheerful girl in front of me.

"Your most adored and almighty superior." I stated and started moving into the room.

(What kind of introduction is that?)

The most straight-forward and honest to G0D introduction.

(Sweat drop.)

Stepping into Isaak's room, I noticed that Dietrich was leaning lazily over the work desk that Isaak was working in. Hmm… Told you so about Isaak's sexual inclination.

(Huh? Dude, that still does not prove anything about Isaak being fey. Beside, I thought you implied that Dietrich is straight? After all, he's always skirt-chasing around that Esther.)

As I stepped in to take in my surroundings and thoughts to myself, Isaak and Dietrich come over and pay their utmost respects to me.

(Err… are you having a funeral? I will send you a nice and impressive flower wreath around later for you to _pay my respects_. )

"Twitch, twitch." said a vein pulsing in my forehead. I decided to ignore about Guardian Devil's devious play of words and put my focus on Isaak and Dietrich.

"Good evening, my Lord." said Dietrich idly while he center his attention on a little hand mirror he's taken out from his breast pocket; at the same time, sending me coy fluttering of his eyes.

(I suppose I should start saying eww at this point of time?)

"Good evening, Master Cain. What brings you here to my humble lodging?" greeted Isaak, happy with the attention he's finally receiving from me, his most respectful and much honoured Master.

(You're conceited.)

Thank you.

(That's not meant to be a compliment.)

"Ah… Isaak, I see you have guests around, am I interrupting something?" I teased mercilessly.

"Oh about that! My Lord, we're actually considering having a little 3-player game here. Since you're here, will you be joining us?" Dietrich openly leered playfully.

"Dietrich!" chided Isaak as he was tired of Dietrich always twisting his words to _implied_ _certain things_ that really are not happening…

"What 3-player game you're talking about?" asked a certain female subordinate in the same room.

"Come, let me explain in better deta-" started Dietrich.

"Don't start about it. I don't want her little innocent brain to be corrupted by all your weird explanations that will likely scare her wits out, if there still any left of it…" interrupted Isaak.

Now this get me interested in the new girl that I'm not introduced to.

(I thought you stated that you're actually asexual?)

I did not mean it that I'm sexually interested about this girl!

(Which left out another possibility, you're…)

Shut up.

"Master Cain?" asked the girl, who's now standing in front of me with big sparkling eyes… that threatened to let her tears fall…

(Hmm… I wondered…)

"Yes?" I asked warily, as I sensed something big will be happening in the next instant…

"OH MAI JESUS CHRIST TRIPPING OVER HIS ROBES!! THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING!! I FINALLY GET TO MEET MASTAR CAIN KNIGHTLORD! THE TOP MOST FAVOURITE IDOL OF ALL!!!" screamed the girl.

One thing for sure. She's LOUD.

(I agree wholeheartedly with you on that.)

What's up with the Mastar thing?

(Hmm... American Idol? The brightest star in the sky! Anyone?)

"MASTAR CAIN! PLEASE LET ME TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU! AND ALSO AN AUTOGRAPH TOO!! AND… AND ALSO LET ME GET A HUG OR EVEN BETTER A KISS FROM YOU!!" demanded this particular strange girl who's appeared not afraid of me and strangely to be very, VERY adoring of me…

I'm very flattered. Really.

(More sweat drop.)

"Okay." I agreed with my utmost charming smile to all her little requests. Even though they seem very unreasonable at this point of time.

(I don't think that's wise of you to do that…)

Why not? After all, I'm a charming, handsome beau that men and women who killed others to get their hands on me.

(That's the point. Men AND women will kill others to get their hands on you; I'm not sure about teenagers like this little girl…)

Ok. Let me rephrase that. I'm the most lovely, attractive, gorgeous, striking and sex-appealing beau that the young AND old would kill others to get their hands on me…

(You're definitely _too conceited_.)

Thank you.

Isaak looks to be aghast over this young girl's reactions and also very upset about my amiable agreement to her. Dietrich seems to be amused by this train of events that's happening.

"OH!! FIRST LET'S TAKE A PICTURE!!!" squealed the strange girl deafeningly and she whipped out a nice-looking digital camera which was decorated with little baby blue and pink flower stickers.

I smiled gently at the youngster and decided that she was such a sweet girl…

**FLASH.**

Without warning at all, I was strongly blinded by a white light…

(My dear… you have reached the next level of Buddha enlightenment… You have seen the LIGHT…)

That's sooooo not funny…

"YEAH!!! I FINALLY GOT A PICTURE OF MASTAR CAIN!!!" howled the young dark brunette with tremendous pleasure.

(Heh. So… how's your eyesight?)

Blink. Blink. I think I'm getting my eyesight back. However, my hearing seems to be degrading simultaneously.

"WILL YOU PLEASE SIGN AN AUTOGRAPH FOR ME NOW!!" asked the girl with much enthusiasm and then proceed to search her pockets for a pen. Then I saw her do a face-fault. The strange girl do an even more thorough search of her body for any writing material. Her expression was getting more alarm as time passes…

"Hmm… do you have a pen then?" I taunted the girl.

"…no…" the youngster replied back in a soft voice that surprised me.

(Heh. Ask Isaak for the pen, I bet ya that he got one up in his sleeve prepared ready for this kid of situation.)

Good idea. "Isaak, do you have a pen that I can use?"

"Of course, my Lord." and a nice ink quill with a pretty big white feather attached to it.

(Somehow, that vaguely look like an ostrich's feather.)

Using the pen provided, I deftly signed my wonderful name down onto a freaking pink book that the girl suddenly whisk out of thin air. I think I saw Dietrich wince a bit, when he saw the color of the book.

When the girl had safely stored away her pink book, she looked up at me with big sparkling eyes and try to stand on her toes. Then she closed her eyes and puckered her mouth as if she was trying to receive a kiss…

Isaak's face gives an immediate blanch. Dietrich was beside him trying to steady him from fainting.

"Sorry, I don't give kisses or hugs."

"Why?" she asked.

(Indeed, why?)

"Because… I'm supposed to be UNTOUCHABLE… get it?" I answered.

(So that's the reason why you can be touch by your fans?)

"OH." replied the girl. Isaak seems to be relieved of this dilemma he seems to be facing.

"Now, shoo. I need to talk to Isaak about some important matters."

"OKAY!" with that said, the girl bounced out of her way… And I meant it literally, she really bounced.

"Isaak, who's this cheeky girl?" I asked with huge puzzlement.

"She's… a close relative of mine…" said Isaak.

(I wonder how close? Maybe his daughter?)

"Oh I see. Isaak dear, I confessed that I have been neglecting you and was rather… occupied with my dearest bother recently. However, I never know that you're willing to go and get someone pregnant to get yourself a daughter…" I replied with a sarcastic smile on my face.

"She's not my daughter!! I would rather killed myself then having a daughter like her!!" moaned Isaak. With a painful wretched face.

"Okay… so who is she? Your sister?" Dietrich chances a guess.

"No, she's definitely not my sister. I would banged my head against the wall if she is." whined Isaak.

"Sooooooo… Who's that girl?" This time, with a little devious smile of mine, that make Isaak shiver delightfully…

(Heh. You're enjoying Isaak's _reactions_, aren't you?)

Oh my. Is that an innuendo I'm hearing?

(You're most definitely GAY.)

How Many Time Must I Tell You I'm Not Into That?!

(Into what?)

I'm Not Sexually Interested In Men! Neither Am I Interested In Women!

(Oh… I think you OVER-REACTED. When I say GAY, I don't mean HOMOSEXUAL, oh no, but Happy! Get it? Happy. Happy. Happy.)

I think I'm having a headache over all that LOUD shattering emphasis on certain words…

"She… she is my…" stuttered Isaak.

(End of chapter 12.)

A/N: Who's this girl? Can any one make a guess? What is she to Isaak? Stay tuned to the next chapter, Muwahahahah! Please review to tell me what you think!


	13. Chapter 13: Part III: Who's That Girl?

A/N: Dododo. Time for the mysterious veil to reveal out about the strange fangirl!

**Thank you to: crusnik O2 and Lyric for dropping me a review! I feel appreciated! Keep the reviews coming!!**

Oh another note here, I just got a wonderful inspiration when I was reading the manga of D. Gray-man… plus I also find some quirky inspiration to add on when I read evilangel990's story of Ask The Cast of Trinity Blood… -snickers-

Updated on: 20th of August 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 13: Part III: Who's That Girl?**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil (aka G0D for short! Kyaaa!)

**Warning: It's confusing for me too… Whatever! Anyway, INSANITY is still the main ingredient of this… insane story. Insert hysterical laughter here.**

Pairing(s): I think it's obvious enough. (Shifty Eyes)

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation. **

_**(In Isaak's point of view…)**_

"Sooooooo… Who's that girl?" This time, with a little devious smile of my much-loved Master Cain, that always managed to make me shiver _oh so delightfully_…

Oh G0D… now how am I supposed to answer to _that_ question?

"She… she is my…" I think I stuttered, "Her name's Talitha but… she's codenamed Iron…" trying very hard to stall for more time as I quickly think of something to say. I wonder how I should get out of this situation when I let my eyes fell upon my master's one and only love… Abel. A solution came up in my head.

"My lord, why is… Master Abel still in coma…" I asked, in the hopes of distracting him from his previous enquires.

"Ahh… I was hoping you will be able to find out the reason… behind this… unusual condition of Abel." said Master Cain dreamily, his face shown that he was deep in thoughts.

"My Lord, why don't you put Master Abel upon that examination bed over there… I will use my medical equipments to give Master Abel a thoro--" I stopped midway in my sentence when I saw my beloved master glare venomously at me.

I wonder why…

My unspoken question was answered when my most adored master stated coldly and very possessively: "No anal probe of his body. This is an order."

More seconds passed by as I blinked my eyes while my brain rapidly process the strange order_…OH…_

I swallowed hard and continued bravely on: "I will give Master Abel a methodical AND scientific health check-up."

Master Cain stared at me for a moment before he gives a small nod and laid his brother upon the examination bed.

"_Ohh… Isaak…_ you still haven't told us about your _relation_ with that girl…" purred Dietrich suddenly, who was leaning from behind on my right shoulder.

I sweat drop. Dietrich had disrupted my plan of explaining something unpleasant to my Master. I'm now having a silent prayer to G0D to help me out.

Though as if G0D answered my prayers, someone knocked at the door frantically and a female yet quite familiar raspy voice drifting through: "I… Is… aak…"

I urgently shrugged off Dietrich and opened the door, thanking the _stranger_ mentally for rescuing me from the most awkward of moments. To my surprise, this stranger was slumped on the floor. Another thing I noted was that she was very under-dressed, with only a large black overcoat she wrapped herself up. She looked very, VERY familiar…

Gasp. I know her! She's Adina Courtland! The Grandmother of Iron! What's she doing here!!!

"Adina? What happened?!" I exclaimed, propping the poor lady up on the wall.

"What's going on?" asked Dietrich. Both he and my master Cain were standing behind me trying to find out what's so distracting about the under-dressed lady in front of me.

"Iron… II… Run…" Was all Adina managed to say before passing out.

A distant rumble plus Iron's panic-stricken LOUD screams from down another hallway brought to my attention to the horror of all horrors.

"Oh no…" I whispered and deeply wished that this could not be happening, "Dear G0D… Iron just what have you lay your hands on? Please… not on my latest creation…"

"Mind explaining? Isaak?" Dietrich asked with a bored expression as he leaned lazily on the door frame.

"… I once built a most wonderful, function perfect robot which I named 'Isaac I' for the purpose of reducing workload and also help to give medical attention and surgery for the benefits of the Rosen Kruez Orden members." I started explaining.

My heart gives a sad wrench as I slowly summon up the event in my mind that leads to 'Isaac I's demise…

"Oh… I remember that invention of yours… That big robot was so annoying that I destroyed it with my own hands…" Master Cain Finally Recalled.

"It's not 'Isaac I's fault! It's all Iron's fault! HER FAULT!!" I snapped back tearfully.

"Huh? That naïve, strange and LOUD girl's fault?!" exclaimed Dietrich in surprise. He could not really fathom the destructive powers of _that girl_, not until he had given a taste of it by himself.

"OF COURSE IT'S HER FAULT! IF SHE HAD NOT GIVEN MY PREVIOUS 'ISAAC I' A CUP OF COFFEE TO DRINK, 'ISAAC I' WIL NOT BE REDUCED TO ASHES!!" I cry out. LOUD.

"Hmph. Anyway, that metal thing was supposed to has Isaak's personality. However, it drinks up a cup of coffee and started going bonkers… It even tries to molest me…" grumbled my beloved Master Cain.

"Ah-huh… soooooo... What's this story got to do with this situation?" Dietrich asked.

A shadow fell upon us standing in the hallway. I looked up with big woeful eyes; my unshed tears threaten to fall off, upon my latest creation.

_**(Meanwhile in Cain's mind...)**_

As I looked up upon Isaak's latest pet project, I saw the number 'II' glinted very ominously on the head of the robot that towered over me. Wait… it's even wearing a black fedora hat on it?!

(Mind describing about its main structures to our readers?)

The robot was about 12 feet tall in total; with a rectangular metal body which was 8 feet tall and 10 feet long. It also had a total of 8 metallic legs that give the robot a spider-like feature…

(This looks familiar… Why does it sound like the robot Komurin II built by Komui Lee in the anime/manga of D. Gray-man?)

I have absolutely no idea of what you are talking about, my dear Guardian Devil…

(Well… Then Just What The Bloody Hell Is That Thing?)

Hmph. Another potential, yet very perverted machine that going to molest me. Again.

(You are conceited.)

_**(Back to the scene... in Isaak's point of view...)**_

Thought not as big as its predecessor, but still large on its own, 'Issac II' stared down on Dietrich. "Capture… Dietrich von Lohengrin… Marionettenspieler… Must… perform examination…" The robot buzzed.

A large metallic net was spit out towards Dietrich who sidestepped it easily and counter-attacks using his metallic wires to slice off the robot's head. Just as the metallic wires (Dietrich's pride and ultimate weapon) were going to touch the robot… a shield was formed around the robot and thus protects the mad robot from getting destroyed.

"Of course, due to previous experiences, I had upgraded the defense system…" I smirked proudly, like a happy parent over a child's achievement.

Then a large metal hand appeared trying to capture Dietrich. In the next moment, Dietrich 'meeped' cutely and bolted down the long hallway with the robot just trailing behind him.

"LORD DIETRICH!!" screamed the real culprit behind this.

"Iron… Just What Have You Done This Time To My Creation…" I snarled angrily at her.

"SORRY! SORRY! GRANDMOTHER AND I WERE FEELING BORED AND DECIDED TO HELP SPRING CLEAN YOUR LABORATORY!! I NEVER MEANT TO BREAK IT!!" shrieked Iron, who's seemed to be in hysterics.

Adina was waken up from her rest from all those LOUD shouting. Using a hammer that magically appears in her hand, she gave Iron a strong hit, causing a red swelling bump to appear on poor Iron's head...

"Heh. So now we've got a zealous sex machine on the loose and it's after Dietrich." my Master Cain stated plainly with no emotions on his stern face.

_**(Let us focus onto Dietrich's situation over here...)**_

Dietrich didn't care where he ran, as long as it put _enough_ distance between him and _that_ _particular gigantic metal scrap_. Why, why of all things for the stupid robot to choose, it had to be him?! Can't it pick on their Master Cain, or better yet Isaak!

He sneaks a peek behind him and saw to his utmost disgust that _the metal scrap_ was still chasing after him. Just then he turned his head in time just to see Walter, the Rosen Kruez Orden's Postman, carrying an armful of letters.

**CRASH.**

Unable to stop in time, Dietrich collided onto our dearest Postman. The hallway was filled with floating letters.

"Ow! What th- AARRRGGGGHHHHH!! It's 'Isaac'!!" Walter bellows in repulsion upon seeing the replica robot of Isaak's creation.

An extendable metal hand wearing a white glove shot out from its rectangular body getting a strong grip onto Dietrich's left ankle and started to drag Dietrich in with unbelievable swiftness. Within the metal body, Walter could also see the horrifying medical and electrical equipments that are waving about…

How horrifying you asked? Well, please imagine that you are being dragged into a room full of waving equipments, for example: drills, saws, cutting scalpels, etc. etc…. it's more than enough to let a normal human to be having nightmares for a whole month…

Dietrich was too dazed to utter anything in reply to Walter. However, just mere seconds before he was being hauled into the robot's large body, he spy behind and saw that Isaak, Master Cain, the strange under-dressed woman and also Iron rushing to his rescue.

A brilliant and weird prank came up into Dietrich's mind. With a minute flick of his hand, Dietrich made a small bleeding cut on Isaak's left hand and hastily commands an order to the crazy robot. "Isaak's hand was injured. Go fix it."

"In... jured…" buzzed the robot, as it slowly rotated its head 180 degrees and fix its scanner onto Isaak. The metal hand released Dietrich and turned around to face Isaak, and said: "Order placed. Isaak Fernand von Kämpfer, due to injury, is now placed as first priority."

Then the metal hand wearing a white glove shot out again from its body. It got hold of Isaak's ankle and now started towing Isaak slowly into his rectangular body: "Taking Isaak into the surgery room."

The doors finally shut sealed with a metallic click that resounded loudly within the walls of the hallway. "The capture of Isaak is complete."

"Examination… Is… Now… In… Progress…" 'Isaac II' seemed to be humming happily.

_**(Meanwhile in the mind of Cain...)**_

Many people were soon attracted by the racket caused, including Lady Catherina, Tres and also Vampy (Iron's cousin).

(Poor Isaak… -Snickers-)

"Oh dear, we're too late!" Adina exclaimed. They could hear Isaak's muffled and angered wails inside.

(Oh yes… indeed we're too late to save Isaak's chastity.)

"Ahh! MY SHIRT! OW!! TAKE GREAT CARE OF MY SHIRT!!"

(Hmm… Is the robot really that perverted?)

It's not that perverted.

(o.O'' …Oh-kay…)

It's a SUPER PERVERT.

(-.- …And didn't Isaak said that it was built according to his personality?!)

Silence reigned for a while, and everyone was tense with suspense.

**SHRED!!**

Without warning, Isaak's voice cried out in absolute terror; much to the surprise of everyone.

"NOOOOOOOOOO, MY PANTS!! YOU'RE DESTROYING GOOD QUALITY SILK!!!"

Sensing that my sweet subordinate was in great danger of being molested, I wasted no time in taking out my weapon and took down 'Isaac II' with one blow. Smoke rises up as the metal crap goes down.

(Oh my. Oh my. You're really protective of your uke, ne?)

Huh? What's a uke?

(Never mind…)

_**(Back to the scene…In Isaak's point of view…)**_

"No!! How could you do that to my 'Isaac II'?!! It's my offering to Master Abel!" I moaned as I was half-dragged out from the robot's compartment with help from Dietrich.

"Offering? It's a giant perverted machine, a Super Pervert!" my much-adored Master Cain stated crossly.

"It's not perverted!! It's only supposed to strip you _just_ for medical examination and then dress you back up nicely! I made it for Master Abel's health!!" I asserted righteously.

"Then why is Grandmother almost naked?" Iron frowned, asking for an explanation.

"She escaped before 'Isaac II' could dress her again!" I pointed out.

A cough from Dietrich alerted them as I finally emerged from the cloud of dust. "Honey, are you…" Adina's sentence halted abruptly; she was drooling ridiculously.

Everyone ogled.

Except my dearest Master Cain, who only spared a glance for me… I'm heartbroken… somehow…

Then I looked down at myself and valiantly refuse to give into the urge to scream.

Why? Well, I just found out that I was dressed up into a very body-fitting schoolgirl's uniform!!

The black miniskirt reached only my mid-thighs. I'm also wearing a cute little red ribbon-tie which slung lazily over the transparent white blouse, which was missing two upper buttons and therefore exposing a small part of my nice… cleavage?! I gingerly check out and found out another reason for me to just scream like a girl but I resisted heroically. It seems that I was also wearing a black lacy bra which can be nearly seen underneath the nearly transparent white blouse.

I blushed for all my worth. No wonder everyone in the hallway were staring lecherously at me.

"What happened?!" Master Cain demanded to know.

"Well, 'Isaac II' redresses the Orden's members with clothes from its personal closet that I filled with spare uniforms I found... that somehow littered the hallway sometimes… By the way, that's Adina's old uniform! It must've got computer glitches and thought I was a girl!" I explained, while trying to hold in my instinct of 'flight'.

Lady Catherina held in her laughter gracefully. "Not to be offensive or anything Isaak dear, but I think you've got really sexy and beautifully long legs."

Dietrich growled possessively. "Not for you to ogle at!"

I think I was near the edge of losing it, and then Lady Catherina's emotionless 'Killing Doll' named Tres walked up to me and asked mechanically: "Status report."

Before I had the chance to check, the remains of 'Isaac II' crashed to the ground causing a great gust that blew up my miniskirt.

Adina screamed first…

Vampy fainted second…

Dietrich nosebleed third…

Master Cain was watching with great interest and enjoyment at the expense of my reputation…

My mind finally snapped when I discovered to my utmost distress that I was actually wearing… black… lacy… female… underwear, which probably belonged to Adina and in which explained the true reason behind why she screamed.

The reason why Vampy (grandson of Adina Courtland) fainted on the spot could be due to the fact that he was thoroughly disgusted to have seen someone wearing his grandmother's… undergarments… Or he could be homosexual and the sight of the deliciously handsome guy wearing female clothing was the final straw for his young hot blood to gush up into his brain…

As for Dietrich… I don't think I want to go into further thoughts of why he's nose bleeding…

Everyone else in the Rosen Kruez Orden went down; with gushes of blood spurting out from their noses in huge quantity... that wonderfully decorated the hallway in artistic style of a psychotic murderer.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" I finally screamed just like a girl and ran when I saw the reaction of the masses.

No, I don't think they're perverted or lecherous; in fact I think that they were now downright horny bastards for enjoying the view.

Dietrich keel over a bit as he called out: "Isaak, wait!!"

Cain, Dietrich and Lady Catherina tracked me back to my room, where the door was locked tight. Adina, Tres, Vampy and also Iron were strictly ordered to left behind so as to clean up the bloody mess in the hallway…

"Isaak, can we come in?" Cain asked tentatively.

"Master… let me be alone for a while…" I replied softly.

"Heh. Not likely, when you're in the same room alone with my beloved brother." Master Cain scolded gently. Ouch. That does hurt.

"Erm… After what just happened…I'm not sure how to react when I meet the others…" I said soulfully.

"That was a fiasco, albeit a bit of a cute one…" Dietrich smiled, probably in reminisce of seeing Isaak in the sexy black lacy underwear and the effect on the members of the Orden.

"Dietrich!!" I shouted in anger.

"Okay, okay. Chill out. It was a rather mortifying accident. Therefore, Isaak I apologised… I won't nosebleed over you in a schoolgirl's uniform anymore!" Dietrich mentioned, hopefully to be able to alleviate even a bit of my anger.

"The schoolgirl's uniform isn't the problem!!" I yelled.

Master Cain and Dietrich looked at each other, both confused.

"Would you like to speak to me?" Lady Catherina asked. Dietrich jumped and spun around to glare at Lady Catherina.

The door opened a creak; I balefully glower at Dietrich before allowing my master and Catherina entrance and then locked the door.

_Some hours passed by…_

After some hours long of having counseling from Lady Catherina, with my precious and handsome Master Cain sitting beside me in support. I finally managed to gather my mind back into one piece.

After Lady Catherina left the room and let in Dietrich into my room, without any warning, Master Cain turned and faced me with a sweet chilling smile: "So Isaak… you still haven't answered my previous questions…"

…Dammit… and here I thought he had forgotten about it… _Fine_, let's get this out…

"Er… my lord…" I gulped nervously, "Iron is a close relative of mine…"

"Close relative?" Dietrich interrupted rudely. This costs him to get his head smacked by my Master Cain with his super-inhuman strong fist.

"Eh… yeah… actually she… she's my…" I stuttered again.

I take a deep breathe and quickly said: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What did you just said? Repeat that slowly." ordered Master Cain.

I winced and tried once again: "Iron… is my granddaughter…"

**THUD!!!**

Dietrich was traumatized badly by this change of events and finally fainted. Master Cain was as still as a statue, but he only gives me a small knowing smile and walked back to check up on his beloved brother, Abel.

(End of chapter 13.)

A/N: Yeah!!! Finally! The secret is out!!! I really hope you readers like this chapter! Drop me a review to tell me what you really think about it. PLEASE!!


	14. Chapter 14: Evil Plot Brewing

A/N: My computer crashed down earlier this nice December and I lost almost all my new chapters written… cries… It's freaking hard for me to recall what I written so far, that why the update delay… Forgive me. Thank you for waiting, here goes the new chapter!

**Thank you to Passe for an Angel(Hiya!), magiclycutemisto1, MazdaKitsune and Ninjas Wings for dropping me a review! I feel appreciated! Keep the reviews coming!!**

Updated on: 24th of December 2007

**Insanity - Chapter 14: Evil Plot Brewing.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil (aka G0D for short! Kyaaa!)

Pairing(s): I think it's obvious enough. (Shifty Eyes)

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation. **

* * *

_Location: In Cain's bedroom chamber._

**(Done in Cain's point of view, my point of view is in brackets as usual…)**

(Jingle bells, jingle bells. Jingle all the way…)

Guardian Devil… please just shut up. I hate Christmas carols…

(So what? It's my freedom to do what I want.)

Just stop singing that stupid song.

(Fine. Have it your way.)

Ahh… finally some little peace…

(We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.)

AHHHHH!!!! I WILL FIND A WAY TO STRANGLE YOU WITH MY OWN HANDS!!!

(Duh. You only said that I should stop singing Jingle Bells….)

… … I'm speechless… how can you do that to me? Your utmost gracious host, the One Who Lends You, that is my mind, as your little room to stay?

(You think I like it better than you? I'm going caroling onto the public streets during Christmas time in my own little country and I'm also the one suppose to be practicing and singing with a fake smile and cheer for the audience… )

Quit your organization and join my Orden. At least you will not be forced to sing the carols…

(I'm sure of one thing, you are an idiot.)

I'm Not!! I Am The Perfect Genius!!

(You are conceited. Beside, I'm in your head. So how am I supposed to be able to join your organization?)

Did I said that I'm inviting you? I'm actually inviting the readers over here…

(-.-11 I hate you.)

Sigh, anyway it' about another week ago since the amusing disgrace of Isaak.

(You should be grateful that you are not the one being 'The One'…)

I turned around and walked towards the recuperation unit in the chamber. Spreading my fingers over the glass cover of the unit, I gazed intently at the current occupant, my beloved brother, who is wearing a white sleeping-robe and currently healing inside the unit.

(Sleeping robe? What happened to his clothes?)

Obviously I changed it for him.

(Sweatdrop. Don't tell me that you also personally give him body scrub too…)

Do you really think I would allow others to ever touch my love?

(I really feel a small tiny bit of pity for Abel having this kind of…pervert brother… even more pervert than _that sex machine _from the previous chapter…)

Hey! I'm not a pervert!

(-Give _that kind of look _at Cain-)

… …

(…Poor Abel…Another thing, you have become even more possessive…)

I ignored the Voice in my mind and continue to appreciate the state of the art in front of me. Abel looks so childishly innocent and vulnerable with his big sapphire eyes hidden behind his closed eyelids and his waist-length white hair untied.

(Hey! Don't ignored me!)

It had been almost nearly more than 9 months since Seth's death and Abel had not wakes up from his coma. The health-check on Abel done by Isaak shows that the nanites are slowly healing their host's body and brain, except it seems to be in a state of instability. According to Isaak's calculation, Abel wills eventually wakes up after the nanites had settled down which may still takes for another week.

(I feel so ignored…)

So this must be the difference between being 80 and 100 fusing with the Crusnik. If it is not for these nanites and me being 100 mind-fusion, I would be dead when Abel throws me out of the 'Ark' down to earth.

(Dude, you become a pile of ash when you finally arrived on Earth for the first time. It's really extreme evil of the Upper Powers somewhere out in the cosmos or Oregon that you are able to regenerate yourself back into… one piece. No, I mean one body… not that… Gah, you know what I mean.)

Ahh… Upper Powers? Oh I know them, I met them once.

(WHAT?!?!)

When I happen to be just a pile of ashes… my brainwaves happen to reach them and get into contact with them…

(Dude… you are just ashes then, how come you got brainwaves when you don't even have a brain at all?)

Cough. Cough. Ahem.

Now that's one of the mysteries of the universe.

(That's so lame… what do you do when you finally reach Earth then?)

How about the painful process of rebirth?

(More or less…)

Anyway, when I first absorbed Crusnik04 and Crusnik03, I get their memories imprinted into my body. Due to their incomplete mind fusion with the Crusnik, I managed to assimilate them completely and make them my own.

(Meaning?)

This must be what Abel is going through as he is trying to assimilate Crusnik03 I feed him and since both of them are on the same level, they are battling for the dominance of his body, which may explain the reason of Abel still in regenerating coma.

Anyway what I need now is a new body to contain the Crusnik just like Abel's. Just like Abel's…

(Brr… why do I feel so cold all of a sudden? Cain! Just what evil plans you are plotting against Abel?!)

Yes, this can work to my advantage! Why didn't I think of this before? In this way I can get a new body to use and will always be together with Abel. Now, I need to carefully plan this out.

(Why do I get the feeling that I'm gonna be in a state of extreme bad luck real soon?)

The irony Abel will say as he realizes one day what I have done: that we cannot live with the other and yet we cannot live without the other.

A soft insane laughter can be heard in the midst of Cain's chamber.

(-Roll my eyes up- Guess I need to prepare for myself too, the famous sixth sense within me told me to be prepared for the worst…)

**(Done in third person point of view…)**

The doors of Cain's chamber open and Isaak comes in with a report in hand. Looking over to his master, who is currently fixated his attention and chuckling softly at his sleeping brother. Isaak smiled affectionately at the sight Cain presented; like a little child who had just received a new toy to play with.

"Good morning Master Cain, I trust that you have slept well?" asked Isaak.

"Yes, I am just wondering when my dear Abel awakes. Oh by the way how is the Orden members dealing with my... little episode?"

"It seems very positive ever since the... kiss between Master Cain and Master Abel..." Isaak hesiteated.

"Come tell me... you should know there are no secrets between the two of us..." said Cain

"It seems that about 70 percent of our Orden had the sudden craze of getting any little piece of clothing you once worn... and then they set up candles of different sizes and also expensive decorations around it and... volia... they get their own shrine of worshipping Master Cain..." said Isaak, who appeared to be sweating cold sweat...

"Oh... is that so? What about the rest of the 30 percent?" asked Cain with huge interest.

"Well, I'm not sure if I should tell you about it..." Isaak hesitated again.

"Report." command Cain.

"It seems that about 25 percent of the Orden had taken up to becoming great authors and authoress... creating and writing news and stories of your... famed adventures... war honors... your love, your supposed life... and..."

"And what?" asked Cain curiously.

Isaak give a little gulp and continued to report bravely: "And it seems that there are various love stories spinning around Master Cain and Master Abel."

Silence in the room. But it was broken shortly, as Cain gives a handsome smile and said: " Wonderful. That more than I expected... what about the remaining 5 percent?"

With great difficulty, Isaak replied unhappily: "The rest of them happened to be the extreme fanatics... they recruited more new members of the Orden using your... most scandalised photos..."

"Ahh... that means we have an even stronger and united Orden? Good. This shall smooth the path to my goal. Please comtinue your report, my dear Isaak." Cain commented with a gentle smile.

"Nine months ago, due to your speech at the Empire's palace and adding up the murder and last wishes of their Empress, the Empire had elected a new leader and is currently trying to hunt down the Orden. The other countries are still suspicious of our existence and wary of the Empire's nuclear weapon that they had witnessed to the fall of the Vatican." said Isaak.

"Tell me something new, Isaak."

"From our spies' reports, the ex-Ax members are currently working at the side of the young Albion queen. They have been effectively trying to gather information about the Orden and strengthening the troops by building battleships using the 'lost technology' to use against us. It seems that we may have some spies within this organization, but I have yet to uncover them out. Besides that, Albion and Germanicus are secretly in contact with the empire. As for the rest of our Orden's members, they requested that Master Cain to give the permission to initiate another world war to further bring destruction " but Isaak was cut off abruptly before he can continue.

"Permission granted. This is getting boring, Isaak." Cain said and moves his forehead to press against the glass-cover of the recuperation unit in front of him, still gazing intently at the sleeping Abel. "Tell me something interesting."

"This piece of news may interest you, Master Cain. According to one of our members, Catherina, there is an underground tomb situated 10 miles east of Rome. Apparently, it housed the long-deceased body of someone that you knew years ago." answered Isaak.

At this information, Cain slowly turns his head around and curiously regards Isaak. To which Issak smiled and replied: "Crusnik04, Lilith."

And just like that, an idea seems to click in place in Cain's mind. He maliciously smiles, sending chills down Isaak's spine, and obscurely purred: "Ah… the perfect start to set my plan into motion…"

(End of chapter 14.)

A/N: Hee, I hope this chapter is okay? It's a bit short, but that's what I can come up with for now. If you are interested, you can go read Rainbow Life.


	15. Chapter 15: Amnesia?

A/N: Forgive me for the slow update, I was engrossed in playing my newly bought PSP Crisis Core Game... Thank you for waiting, here goes the new chapter! Please bear with me, this is a short chapter…

Updated on: 8th of March 2008

**Insanity - Chapter 15: Amnesia?**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil (aka G0D for short! Kyaaa!)

Pairing(s): As usual, you should have know it by now…

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation.**

* * *

_(In the meeting room of the Rozen Kruez Orden) _

**(As usual, this is in Cain's point of view. My point of view are in brackets.)**

I took my seat at the head of the table and listen half-heartedly to my followers' reports. I does not really care what happens to the Orden as it is just my stepping stone to bring more destruction to the world.

(Dude, besides destroying the world, what else are ya thinking about?)

Well, for your information dearest Guardian Devil, I will also be thinking about my foolish wayward brother too. I wonder when will he wakes up?

(…. I think you will know it soon anyhow… What are ya doing over here anyway?)

Usually it was Isaak who will be here in his place to take care of these matters, but since I had entrusted Isaak to keep an eye on Abel as he go about his preparation, I now will have to come to these painfully boring meetings.

(Trusting Isaak to be alone with Abel? Let hope he did not do anything harmful.)

Stop putting those doubts of my servant's loyalty to me. He did vowed with a blood fealty to me after all. He's a man of his words. Besides, I also needs to be physically there so as to remind his followers who they really belong to; be it in soul, body and heart, the followers _must know _that their _one and only _master is ME.

(You are really conceited.)

Why thank you Guardian Devil.

(As usual with our bickering, that's not supposed to be a compliment.)

I know. However, annoying you is one of my little enjoyment nowadays.

(Can't you go and annoy someone else?)

Well, since Abel is still in coma, Seth's dead… You happened to be the one around just right in time for my amusement.

(I feel very _honored_ to know that… So what's the situation now?)

A week ago, the Orden had openly declared war against the remaining countries that survived the aftermath of the nuclear war. As they were speaking, their battleships and the five armies of animated zombies (which is about three million of zombies in total) are sent out all over the world to annihilate any humans they encountered.

(Creating a World War as you speaking? I have to say that's terribly predictable of most evil genius crazy guys who plan on either world domination or world destruction…)

However, from the received reports, they faced strong resistance from Albion, Germanicus and also the Empire. The Orden have suffered heavy losses when faced against these countries, losing a total of three main battleships out of ten and an army of animated zombies so far.

Really, resistance is futile against ME. The Contra Mundi.

(You know I just got a disturbing image of you…)

Oh? Care to share it with me?

(I got this image of you rubbing both your hands, evilly laughing and saying: Kukuku… Everything is going according to the plan. Kukuku…)

…That's disturbing… Besides I don't laugh like that. My evil manly laughter is better than this.

(I doubt it somehow. I once overheard you giggle like a girl…)

I Don't Giggle Like A Girl! Even If Did Laugh, I Will Only Laugh Manly!

(Hahaha. Really? Let the readers look through chapter 5 of this story. They will all agree with me over this laughing matter.)

What are you talking about?

(Snickers…)

Summing up, the Orden is gradually losing the war. They look toward their leader for his utmost capable guidance.

I'm flattered really. This makes me feel like a G0D.

(That could be your hangover for all you know.)

Ignoring the irritating Voice in my mind, I stood up confidently and stare down fiercely at my followers. "Continue with the attacks, these resistance forces will eventually wear out and fall beneath our tireless animated zombies."

(Ha. As if that will really crush the human population. I tell you they can breed like rabbits if situation calls for it.)

Then how about this wonderful strategy?

"Next, spread out the plague among the refugees. Clearance to use the upgraded version of the Shinki virus. This will help create more ghouls for us to control."

(Hmm… seems like a good plan… Using biochemical tactical attack against the human population… By the way, what does Shinki means?)

Heh. Shinki means zombie in Japanese.

(I never knew you speak the Japanese language?)

I'm a genius. Learning languages is part of being a genius.

"Send some minor battleships to destroy these countries' seaport and land transportation routes which are essential to their economies. This will greatly cripple them for a while, cutting off their resources to build up more warfare weapons and alienate their interacting communication," pausing for a moment thoughtfully, I calmly commanded: "Dietrich, you are to get into the Empire's main command room. This time use their nuclear weapon to eliminate some of the annoying obstacles. It will create more distrust and chaos between these allied resistances."

(Hmm… This does not really bode well for the world…)

Of course, that's the general idea.

"Yes, Master Cain, I will do as you commanded." replied Dietrich without hesitation.

A playful music rings loudly in the meeting room. Everyone in the room froze as they hear it. For they feared the wrath of their Master…

(Somehow, I feel a tinge of pity for them… Just a little.)

I reaches into my pocket and pulls out a small device. My followers see this gives a relief sigh and the room becomes silent as they watch me holding it near my right ear and listens intently.

(What's that device you are holding?)

Oh that. It's a handphone.

(You have the technology of handphone at your disposal? Why the hell is the post office set up when you can use a handphone to give out orders?!)

Hush my dear. Only the highest members of the Orden have this privilege. Letting it become a common device does not seat well with my followers. They still need to feel that they are special to the Orden and does have some authority over their subordinates.

(Capturing their hearts with a little device like this? Pfft. What a bunch of idiots. The tinge of pity I had for them is gone like the wind for good.)

Besides, it is I who had captured their hearts. Not the handphone device.

(Argh… I'm utterly speechless about your own shamelessness.)

However, I am a handsome beau. It's natural that I can capture anyone's beating living heart.

Anway, after listening for a while, I smiled as I heard the good news from Isaak.

(What news did Isaak brings now?)

Patience my dear, it shall be reveal later.

(Stop giving me the cliffhanger!)

I put the device back into my pocket and said: "The rest of you shall stay at your designated posts and do your duties. If there is nothing important to report, this meeting shall end here. You are dismissed."

(I Hate You.)

The feeling is mutual, dearest Guardian Devil. Alas I'm still finding ways to get rid of you. Painfully for you.

(Don't think about threatening me. It's absolutely useless.)

I suppose you are safe in the recesses of my mind. For now.

I stands and proceeds to leave the room. Several pairs of eyes follow my exit admiringly. With exception of one pair of eyes belonging to a certain female, narrow in cunning concentration.

* * *

_(One week later, at the main base of Rozen Kruez Orden…) _

Time really flies by… _Really._

Abel gradually opens his eyes and finds himself in a recuperation unit, stripped of his belongings and wearing only a white sleeping-robe. He sluggishly exits the recuperation unit and warily observes his surroundings.

About high time that Abel finally wakes up from his long regenerative coma.

The room he is in was lavishly decorated. Plush expensive carpets, elegantly crafted wooden furniture and antiques that spoke of a history and wealth.

Abel thought with confusion: "Where am I?"

A pause and the silence in the room becomes thick. Dammit, I need to _breathe_.

As time ticks away, Abel's beautiful sapphire blue eyes widen in sudden realization: "Most importantly… who am I?"

Really, what took you so long to break the silence. Wait. What do you mean by that question stated above?!

It was at that precise moment, a polite knock on the doors of the room is heard clearly. Abel looks warily towards it and hesitantly called out softly: "Come in, whoever you are."

The doors open and in walk Isaak with clothes for Abel that are neatly folded and place on a silver tray. He bowed elegantly and said: "My lord, how are you today? I have come to bring you a change of clothes."

"…Who are you? Do you know who am I also?" Abel asked with strong curiosity.

I just got the ominous feeling when he said that… I'm feeling sorry for Abel right now.

Isaak looked surprise for a moment but quickly recovered himself. I'm pretty sure he's smiling gleefully over this turn of events.

"I see…" Isaak paused for a moment before he continued, "My name is Isaak Fernand von Kämpfer, I'm also the present Butler for this… household."

"Your full name is Abel Knightlord. About nine months ago, you had been involved in an… unfortunate accident. Which leads you to be in coma ever since then. I assumed that the accident also had caused you to have amnesia. What you need now is some rest." Said Isaak professionally.

"Can you tell me about my past?" Abel asked innocently.

"All your questions and doubts shall be answered by your brother." Replied Isaak.

"I have a brother?" Abel asked, tilting his head sideway to look at Isaak. I have to admit, Abel looks very cute when he acted like that.

"Yes. Your brother, which happens to be my master, is called Cain Knightlord."

"I would very much like to see Cain. Can you bring me to him?"

"Master Cain is now unavailable at the moment and please change into these clothes, Master Abel." Came the calm reply from Isaak who proceed to put the tray of clothes on the table. "Please have a change of clothes, the bathroom is over there. I will be waiting outside of this chamber." said Isaak and he moves to exit the room, closing the door behind him.

With a frustrated sigh, Abel walks over to the tray of clothes provided. However, when he inspects them, he finds that the clothes provided look somewhat familiar…

Sharp pieces of flashback assaulted his mind, the white uniform triggered something of importance from his past. It seems to bring back some painful memories and every shard of memories was confusing and incoherent.

Shaking off to get rid of the painful images, Abel has the sudden urge to simply throw the clothes across the room but stop himself and think rationally for a moment and resignedly decides to just change into it.

Once he changed into the clothes, he look himself over with a body-length mirror that he found in the corner of the room. The white uniform hangs on his body snugly, his white pants clings to his legs and showing off his long, slender legs. His pair of black leather boots reached up over his ankles ending midway of his lower legs and with the black leather belt that sling lazily on his hips to complete his attire.

Ahem. Excuse me for a moment as I wipe off my drool.

Don't give me _that _look. I'm a normal straight girl, it's perfectly reasonable that I drool over hot sexy guys.

Abel idly finger-comb his long white hair as neatly as he could and since Isaak did not prepare any ribbon for him, he had to let his hair hang down as it is. When he feels that he is ready, Abel opens the doors and walks out of the chamber.

Isaak looks over Abel with a hint of approval in his eyes and politely asks: "My lord, please follow me."

Isaak leads Abel down the end of the brightly-lighted pathway and several corridors and finally to an richly decorated dining hall.

"Please be seated, lunch will be served up soon." Said Isaak.

Eating his wonderful lunch provided and served by Isaak, Abel wonders what had happened during these past nine months when he was in coma.

Sigh... It's a long story, my dear Abel. Exactly more than 45,000 words in total so as to speak of.

(End of chapter 15.)

A/N: Ahem, please review to tell me what you think of this chapter?


	16. Chapter 16: The Link to the Future

A/N: Forgive me for the very, very slow update and thank you all for waiting. Seriously, speaking, about more than 6 months of not updating? Reason being I got the writer's block on this and no sparkling ideas for me to go on with it… I'm rummaging through my old pile of plotlines in order to make this story plot more smoothly. So far, I can said that Chapter 1 to Chapter 15 had all been part of Cain's reflections during the one whole year since his last battle with Abel over the skies of Londonium, the last episode of the anime series.

Most likely my recent updates are more likely one-shot comedy with no story plot as I got no script to actually follow up since the original author had decreased leaving his works unfinished. I will probably going to end this story within some more chapters or so and focus more on my other stories.

Thank you to: Liryc and Ain soph auir for taking the time to drop me a review on the previous chapter.

Updated on: 12th of October 2008

**Insanity - Chapter 16: The Link to the Future.**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): As usual, you should have know it by now…

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation.**

* * *

**(This is done in Cain's point of view. Mine are in brackets as always.)**

Waking up from what seem to be a dreamless sleep, I stared listlessly in front of me. Glancing around, it seems I am in the regenerative unit specially prepared for me.

(Good morning! Can I have a cup of coffee? Pretty please?)

Getting out the unit was as easy as threatening to break it.

However, Isaak is very protective of his equipment and not as much of me because I will always heal from glass cuts. Broken glass and other expensive equipment did not heal from me.

However, that's not what I'm concerned about. I'm more curious as to why I had not been hearing the 'Voice' recently whenever I went into my regenerative naps more often lately.

(Testing, testing. One, two, three. Yoz? Can ya hear me?)

It's as if the volume is muted down. All I can hear now is the low mumbling of nothing particularly of interest. Like the passing wind through the trees as the leaves rustle softly.

(Looks like my stay in dear Cain's mind seems to be coming to an end sooner than I thought…)

As I moved to a nearby shower equipment to rinse off the sticky bath, I caught flickers of black-coated movement at the corner of my eye.

"Welcome back Master Cain" said Isaak, standing at my side as he hands me a velvet red bath robe. I nodded in acknowledgment as I slowly drabbed it over my body.

(Chotto matte. Cain is naked?! In front of Isaak?! -currently having a nose-bleeding problem-)

"What's that?" I asked as I move over to a chair while drying my long hair with a towel. Isaak seems to be fiddling with some sort of case on the desk.

"Something for you," Isaak smiled coyly, not looking up from the case. "Ideally I would like to keep you for additional monitoring, but you have already given precise orders to have you wake up in order to attend the next Orden meeting. Your devoted followers are asking after you and I have more productive things to do than keep you confined here."

Seemingly satisfied with whatever he is doing at last, Isaak turns the pocket-case around for me to look at. Nested in a bed of black Styrofoam are twelve small syringes that actually eerily glows bright green. This was not the usual serum I was used to in the past, but rather the burning bright and toxic that is much more highly concentrated. I arched one of my elegant eyebrows and looked questionably at Isaak.

"These will do the same for you as the bath does," Isaak said, tapping one of the syringes. Mere glass seemed too fragile for the powerful stuff inside,.

(Wince. Actually, I find the sound of Isaak's fingertip striking the surface making me uncomfortable.)

"More concentrated, of course, but you'll probably need it. I'm taking it that the 'Voice' you had been hearing recently is still there?" Asked Isaak.

I shrugged slightly as if this does not concern me at all.

(Duh. He's not bothering to try hiding my existence to one of his favorite servants?! I thought Cain does not want others to think of him as mentally insane?)

I suddenly give a little sneeze which caused Isaak to look at him in concern, though he try hard not to show it much.

Anyway, did someone just think of me fondly? I fervently hope that it is Abel.

"Still the same?" Asked Isaak, breaking my line of thoughts.

"Muted somewhat. It's not as loud as it was. But the 'Voice' remains since she still like to mutter something undistinguishable now and then... Even when I'm not responding actively back to her." I stated with a boredom oozing out from my bones.

(What did you take me for? Your amusement?!)

"Hmm... Very interesting results we have here… At first, I thought that it may have been Seth's nanomachines that are trying to do damage to your brain cells in order to take over your body's control," Isaak replied, "Seems like my analysis is incorrect at the moment."

(Your analysis is never correct in the first place.)

Isaak closed the pocket-case and handed it to me with both hands as if offering up an important sacrifice. "Well, here. Try to inject one of these every twenty-four hours."

"And when I run out?" Shaking one of the syringes in my right hand, I am slightly amused by the little spiral I had make in it.

"Then come back for more," Isaak said.

(Though the look on his face seemed to say: _Then you will really be screwed and actively harassed by the 'Voice'. _Am I really _that_ irritating?)

Not feeling a great deal better than I had when I first come in for my health check-up on my body status, I decided to check myself out carefully.

Are my clothes washed immaculately clean-white and pressed?

Check.

Is my beautiful, silky-smooth long golden hair clean and combed to perfection?

Check.

Have my nails been perfectly manicured?

Check.

Did I put on my make-up yet?

Uncheck.

So opening my mini make-up box that I carry everywhere around, I put on some face lotion that can help moistures, whiten and also blocks out the harmful UV rays from my handsome face. Next, I put on a special kind of lip protectant lipstick which will make my mouth looks more kissable and helps prevent sunburned and chafed lips. Last but not least, I sprayed some perfume to chase away the sickly smell of strong medication. Now I feel much better to face the world.

(…You are conceited…)

After checking myself out with a little hand mirror and is satisfied with what I had done so far, I left Isaak's laboratory.

The first thing I did was stop by my personal chamber.

"Cain! You are back from your health check-up!" Cheered Abel delightfully as he run into the arms of his beloved brother.

(Somehow this scene really shocks me.)

"Abel, had you been a good boy when I was out just now?" I laughed, teasing Abel's childish acts.

"Yeah, I did not move out of this room and run about wildly." Replied Abel.

"Anyway, it's time for your health check-up too. So go to Isaak's lab by yourself then, I got a meeting to attend urgently." I said gently as I patted lovingly at my dear baby brother.

(I find this rather way too smooth for Cain's lovelife.)

"Why can't you accompany me this time like you do each time I visit Isaak's lab?" Whined Abel as he pouted.

(So cute! I want to pinch his face!!)

"I'm sorry my beloved, but please understand…"

"Oh alright..."Replied Abel with a disappointed face.

* * *

Isaak looks idly around his own laboratory while making sure his needle is squirting properly. "Well, well, well, it would seem I have you all to myself today. I don't think you'll simply just get an injection today."

He smirks innocently at the struggling person who is currently strapped down to the waist-high operation bed. "Don't bother trying to escape. Those restrains are more than capable of holding down even the strongest of Methuselahs that had snapped his mind…"

(Hey guys and gals… Can someone explain to me about why do I have the mental image of 'Rape' with Vanilla series written all over it?!)

The man on the table shifted slightly, announcing his discomfort in this rather weird situation. Abel look towards the door hopefully. Cain had been present at every single lab visit ever since he had woke up from his regenerative coma several months ago. It was not in his dearest brother's nature to leave him alone with Isaak without some sort of notice.

(Poor Abel having amnesia…)

"What are you doing?" Abel muttered fiercely as he turns his head to glare at Isaak.

"Nothing too deadly, just a simple few additional tests to make sure you are a, _worthy _experiment." The butler-now-turned-craze-scientist replied, walking over to another table and checking the sharpness of his scalpel.

When he was done making sure all of his equipment is working he elegantly pushed the cart over to the operation bed with poor clueless Abel on it. "Now try not to scream too much, I wouldn't want Master Cain to find out that you are here with me." Isaak smiled.

_(The smile is very, very evil.)_

Abel's big sapphire-blue eyes widened in fear and anger as he glared at the back of Isaak's head. He is getting ready for what Isaak had to offer, and he is ready to fight tooth and nail to get out of the laboratory that always made him sick with disgust and apprehension. Probably due to certain bad experiences that he had when he's younger, as explained by his twin brother, Cain.

"Besides that, what I'm about to do is for the sake of Master Cain…" Whispered Isaak, sadness lurked around the depths of his eyes as he stared absently at Abel.

Abel, with his enhanced hearing, caught what Isaak's whispered words and looked up into Isaak's eyes and demanded: "What does all this got to do with Cain!"

"Ah… Didn't you know that Master Cain's health is deteriorating passing second? Now he's using every bit of his energy left in his poor state of body just simply to keep it intact. His uses of the regenerative units had been increasing quite often lately. Soon, Master Cain will enter into a deep sleep… perhaps he will be unable to regain consciousness for a very long time." Explained Isaak patiently.

"… …" Abel blinked in silent shock as he listened to this news.

"Now my dear Master Abel, please do co-operate with me as I need your healthy body in order to help cure Master Cain." With that said, Isaak stick a needle into Abel's right arm.

"Don't worry, I promise all will be over once you wake up."

(Somehow that does not really bode well for Abel at all…)

At that moment the door flew open, someone stormed inside shoving Isaak away from Abel, "NO!! PLEASE DON'T HURT MASTER CAIN!!"

(That voice… sounds pretty familiar… wonder where I heard it…)

Isaak stumbled back near the full sized windows of this particular lab, "Iron! What do you think you are doing?!"

(Oh… no wonder I find it familiar.)

"I am defending the honor and chastity of Master Cain and… also this Orden!" Iron replied as she side stepped the operation bed.

(Er… excuse me, why does Cain's chastity got to do with Abel?)

"The last time I checked this is my laboratory, I am the one giving orders here!" Isaak snapped back. "You should choose your words more carefully lest I relieve you of that sharp tongue and also your irritating voice box during your next appointment. One more thing, he's not Master Cain… that's Master Abel…"

Iron glanced back at Abel (who had went into sleep due to strong sedative) with a slightly flustered and confused expression: "HUH?!"

(That's perhaps the most used word in the world.)

"This is madness! That's person is none other than Master Cain!!" Iron screeched in a pitch that made a banshee sound like a soloist at a concert.

(My poor ears are bleeding…)

Isaak slaps his hand onto his forehead, rubbing it in order to ease his headache, "How stupid can you get? Wait… No, I don't want to even know about it."

Iron suddenly attacks with her fist aiming straight for Isaak's face in the hopes of knocking Isaak into unconsciousness. However, her hopes are crashed as Isaak commanded his black shadows to deflect the attack. Then he uses it to slam Iron against the wall knocking Iron out into the state of oblivion…

(Ouch. That seem to hurt a lot, considering that the wall cracked into a million lines before crashing down into rubbles…)

"Looks like she will be out for a while… now back to what I had started…" Stated Isaak emotionlessly as he raised his scalpel against Abel…

(End of chapter 16.)

A/N: So how's that? Did you still find it interesting to read? After all, it's been more than 6 months since I updated this story.


	17. Chapter 17: Biochemical Threat?

_A/N: Argh… I had to go through Wikipedia in order to write the scientifically part of the story… Got a headache, not sure if it's good. Here's another chapter I had come up with. Let see how this chapter goes, ne? _

_Updated on: 25th of October 2008_

_**Insanity - Chapter 17: Biochemical Threat?**_

_Written by: Guardian 0 Devil _

_Pairing(s): As usual, you should have know it by now…_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation.**_

* * *

_**(This is done in Isaak's point of view, as usual mine are in brackets…)**_

_In Isaak's personal laboratory…_

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Undoubtedly at the present, the name Isaak Fernand von Kämpfe should be ringing a bell in your head. Oh? It does not? Then allow me to offer up my sympathies for the _lost little lambs _that have come to the wrong place… I'm confident that my fans will be annihilating you right now at the moment. I believed the exact plan they are executing coincide with the word "flames".

(Hmm… we are having mutton for lunch?)

How is life treating you so far? I sincerely hope that it is hell for you all. It seem like ages since we last had a "little chat".

(Hey! That's evil of you to greet people like that! Wait... you belonged to the category named 'bad guys' in the very first place, so it's actually accepted...)

Anyway, I'm sure that it's common knowledge that when Master Cain and Master Abel had been very young, the nanomachines had been planted and further developed in their genetically modified body.

(According to the Canon translation version I had gotten on the Internet, yeah!)

A surprising side-effect is that a certain kind of wavelengths is transmitted out from these mysterious nanomachines, giving the scientists living on the Red Mars and also on Earth with the most fascinating and valuable specimens.

(That seems really far-fletched.)

Now after nine hundreds of years had passed, under the information Master Cain had revealed, the Rosen Kruez Orden had uncovered the secret network from a certain ancient computer hub in the world that received data from these transmitters and sent them back to the main labs in Germanicus.

Which is why my beloved Master Cain had decided to set Germanicus as his base, as he can further make uses of the secret network to find out where Abel is and continues to keep tabs on him closely. Plus the benefits of the Lost Technology main labs where he was born in the first place left records of his creation and also the detailed records of experiments and developments done on Master Cain. From these records, I had managed to strengthen and heal Cain's body.

However, they are simply not enough since I am unable to create master's new body without his genetic blueprints…

I had once thought of getting samples out of Master Abel's body in order to create a clone body to replace Master Cain's weaken state. A lesser scientist would have said due to their slight difference in genetic makeup it is hardly possible and the least viable option to take; under these circumstances I might have agreed. My lords and masters are not the same person. Similar growth could only be only vaguely expected; after all, they were related and while that would certainly play some role in their development, just how large of a role was largely conjecture.

(Okay, basically you are saying that you are trying to create a new suitable body for Cain, using Abel as a specimen. Cut off those scientific explanations!)

But what if the answer lies on Master Abel's nanomachines?

Carefully extracting some nanomachines out of Master Abel's body, more precisely from his brain with my highly advanced medical instruments. I have to be very professional in doing it myself for I can't really trust the my subordinates to do this delicate operation of extraction. I know that my contribution to master is greater as a scientist and I had been rigorous in my study of their nanomachines.

(I wonder if Abel will be greatly traumatized after this ordeal?)

As I painstakingly seal the small vial of black blood and placed it in a secure hidden place under my desk, I then proceed to neatly clean up my working area. Master Abel will heal gradually by himself when left alone and thus I did not need to give him much special care of healing treatment like Master Cain needed. After all, right now I am very curious to know what kind of achievements that I can make out of using Master Abel's nanomachines.

Switching on and connecting to the computer hub, I look from Master Cain's printouts to Master Abel's and back again. Ever since Master Abel had finally woke up from his regenerative coma and my masters had at last finally started living together as a family. I had noticed that certain parts of their brains had become much more active. Those parts fell in something of an 'mysterious' category since normal humans didn't have those particular wavelengths, but they were positively much afire with activity, causing the transmitters to record an almost steady oscillation of neat lines so closely spaced that they looked like solid bars of brain waves.

I am not very sure of what to make of it, but I had the strong scientific instinct that it was important: What could that mean?

But there has to be some way to investigate these odd waves... Perhaps I can try the physical proximity hypothesis first. What I need is a way for them to become separated... Perhaps for a long period of time. I wonder if there are any ways to get Master Abel out of the base for a couple of months, leaving Master Cain all alone so that I can better observe their wavelengths, actions and behaviors through the use of computer hub… Maybe Dietrich can help me out with this since he's been telling me that he is getting bored staring at his computer screen as he hack away into the New Human Empire's network system…

Leaving those thoughts in the laboratory as I swept out into the hall, heading for the nearest elevator. I will have to move quickly if I am to catch Dietrich before lunch. Sometimes the Puppeteer just didn't come back. Impatiently tapping the elevator button, I clasped my hands behind my back and can't help wondered vaguely if I had forgotten something…

(Oh, don't worry my dearest readers. Continue reading for enlightenment!)

* * *

The Methuselah Camilla picks up a Terran child on the street as she is walking out of the RKO base in preparation for her secret mission.

(Well, well. What do we have here? Another new character invented? For what purpose will this serve?)

"What's that child doing around near the base? This is very unsettling and why is my eye twitching now? Could it be that our enemy is using children as spies against us?!" Which is basically what Camilla thinks about when she spots the child.

However, this long sliver-haired, big blue-eyed unfortunate Terran child seem to have lost his memory. After some examination, with Camilla using her powers of hynosism or something akin to it,it appears that he has some kind of relationship with Albion Queen Esther.

(I wonder who that boy is? Another strange illegitimate child of whose?)

"Hmmm… This looks like the perfect opportunity to gain recognition from my high and almighty Lord Cain!" Squealed Camilla mentally.

(Oh… another fan girl of Cain… He does have a rather high popularity for an evil villain.)

Anxious to win honor for her Orden she serving under, Camilla takes this silver-haired child into the enemy territory, and plans to kill young Queen Esther.

"Come child, I'm going to take you sight-seeing in Albion! Don't you want to meet your dearest friend Esther?" Said Camilla slyly.

"Wark! Wark!" Responded the strange child in excitement.

"Okay, let us take the next flight to Albion first thing in the evening! So you can meet your friend the very next day! How does that sound to you?"

"Wark! Wark! Wark!"

With that said, Camilla and the cute child went on the journey to Albion….

(Sweat drop. This is insane. Wait, that's what this story all about actually.)

* * *

_(Flashback, some hours previous to the meeting of Camilla and the unidentified child…)_

Iron groans as she finally wake up from a bruising body and a painful bump on her head. Getting up from the pile of heavy rubbles is a hard task, yet she painfully crawls out from underneath.

(Looks like she survived from the blast of shadow magic from the previous chapter.)

Glancing warily around, she noticed that Isaak is not in the lab while Abel is still laying on the operation bed in an unconscious state.

Panic fills her heart and mind.

"KYAAAA!! What should I do now? Poor Master Cain is now laying there with serious internal injuries!! I need to do something!" Whimpered Iron.

(Somehow, she's still under the impression that Abel is Cain…Plus she got very active imagination.)

"AH! I remembered taking a potion called 'Exlir' which really revives me as I was near Death's door at that time!"

Running straight towards a cabinet full of 'unknown' potions, Iron begins her frantic search and she managed to pick out 2 potions that looks like the right color of the 'Exlir' she had once consumed.

(Why is it that the potions she had just found are both in RAINBOW color?! What kind of freaking conspiracy is this!!)

"Ohhhh! Which one is the right potion?! I can't figure it out!" Iron squeaked and a little light bulb appears over her head as she thought of an idea that will always end up in disaster in some ways that only G0D can predict, "I know! I can give both the potions to Master Cain!"

(Somehow, that really does not bode very well for Abel… If you my dearest readers recalled a little, Iron is rather clumsy and accidents always happen wherever she went.)

With that decision made, Iron force-fed the 2 strange rainbow-color potions to Abel. By using the syringe.

(Consider Iron's super-inhuman strength, ouch… poor Abel.)

Then Iron carelessly thrown the 2 empty bottles, that had once held the 2 rainbow-color potions, letting them to roll away and stopping somewhere in the corner of the lab.

(Let us zoom in a little so as to better inspect the bottles, ne?)

At the bottom of one empty bottle, a label stated with a skull with a small printed word occupying a small corner. It said: Elxir.

As for the other also now empty bottle, we can clearly see a label too sticking at the bottom. It said: Highly concentrated Mako and Chemical X mixture, currently under experimenting stages. Unfit for consumption. Results: Relatively Unknown.

(Ain't that count as bio-chemical threat?)

**KABOOM!**

(How I love that explosion!)

White smoke everywhere, Iron is coughing out loud as she try to see through it. As the smoke clears away,

"What just happened?" Asked Iron in confusion.

Abel lays on the operation bed; nothing seem to be out of ordinary.

(Anti-climatic… I bet that's what you readers are thinking about right now.)

"ACHOOO!!" Sneezed poor Abel unconsciously, into the direction of a rather dazed Iron.

"KYAAA!! What happened to you master Cain?! This could not be happening! You should be alive!!" Screamed Iron as she run out of the laboratory as fast as she can to find her grandfather Isaak for help and advice.

(Why does Iron make it sound like Abel is dying?)

After Iron had left the laboratory in search for help, an unusual phenomenon starts to happen. A strange RAINBOW glow appears on Abel's body, covering him from head to toe.

(Anyone notice that this situation seems familiar for a reason?)

At first, it's not really noticeable. However, it slowly built up in momentum and upgrade to a brighter glow that really hurts the eyes if anyone happen to be around to see it.

(Ahem. I just happen to have a pair of sunglasses on!)

**POP!**

The glow suddenly disappear, sparkling dust spirals the air in the laboratory. The ventilation fans slowly clears the dust out of the room. As the air finally clears away, laying on the operation bed is a cute cuddly child who is about 2 feet tall.

(Let just said that Insanity is the main ingredient of this story… Once again the impossible had happened, Abel is turned into a Chibi.)

Big sapphire-blue eyes blinked in drowsiness and confusion, as Chibi Abel trying hard to assess and understand his current state of situation: "Wark?"

(Abel, we are not in the Rainbow Life or the Final Fantasy 7 story setting… Stop acting like a chocobo…)

"Wark! Wark!"

(End of chapter 17.)

A/N: Ahem. Did you have a good laugh? Don't worry, this story still continues…


	18. Chapter 18: The Demise of the Puppeteer?

A/N: I'm so sorry that I update until now!!! My Computer Crashes during April/May! Forgive me, but soon this story going to end~

Updated on: 11th of June 2008

**Insanity - Chapter 18: The Demise of the Puppeteer?**

Written by: Guardian 0 Devil

Pairing(s): As usual, you should have know it by now…

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Trinity Blood or anything else that is copyrighted, except the plotline and OCs that are of my invention and imagination. Please don't sue me. By the way, any information given here is usually found in Wikipedia and also TB Canon Translation.**

**

* * *

**

_**(This is done in Dietrich's point of view, an attempt anyway and also I decided to stay hidden for a while, this is a dark chapter and you are warned…)**_

_In the Rosen Kruez Orden's dining hall…_

Hello everyone, my name is Dietrich von Lohengrin. Oh my, you wish to know the story of my life and why I became the person I was today? Well, let see, where shall I start my story? Ah, how about my life before joining the Orden?

Before joining the Orden, I was once the son of the Duke Germanicus. As a child, I was avoided and usually isolated for my unusual intelligence. It's actually really annoying to see those who were of low intelligence trying to lord over you because you are simply a child, eventually everyone became suspicious of me and treated me with unknown hatred as I go about doing pranks. Since no one was there to correct my ways, I became evil in nature. It was for this reason that I was treated as a monster which finally led my dearest father to make an attempt to kill me with his hands when I was at the age of 6. He failed… miserably at that. It's pretty hilarious. I still thought fondly of his crying face as he held his gun towards me and told me that he loved me. He finally dragged out something within me - a monster

Of course, I could not let myself to be killed by this pathetic excuse of a human. I used my puppet strings to take control his body and played happily while we watched as he involuntarily used the handsaw to kill the rest of my so-called beloved family who were immobile due to the puppet strings that I had over them. Slowly and torturously, tearing them into pieces of meat... My dearest father, who was said to be a gentle, kind soul and treated with respect by his people, finally lost his mind and become a beast clad in human skin that obeyed its animalistic instincts… Well, let just said that my dearest father started to do much, much more M-rated things to the last few surviving family members of his own free will. You readers should try using the imagination, I'm sure it's unpleasant to your minds to said the least.

Well, after slaughtering my family members, I took over as a ruler, and continued living in my home. I continued terrorizing the villagers, using my father's lands to collect people from my own town and use them as my toys. They usually are experimented on and they always never survived for more than a week or two. Which led me to seriously consider in breeding better brood of toys that can last much more longer in my experiments. It's a chore to dispose the bodies and leaving them to rot in my house is uncivilized. Besides, it's much more fun to have them screaming and kicking consciously than having them dead on my experimenting tables…When I was 7 years of age, I finally met the two most important figures in my life. They visited my town by coincidence.

When I first saw Master Cain, I was amazed at the tremendous power that Master Cain possesses. This was the first time in my life that I had found someone who is far more powerful than I am. Master Cain is a being that has surpassed good and evil, hence he became an element of pure destruction. At this time, Master Cain and Isaak already seized control of the Rosen Kreuz Orden. I finally joined the Orden and at the age of 10, I was already in a high ranking the encounter with Master Cain and Isaak had given the me a purpose for my life, as truly I was rather aimless at the beginning. To me, trust, love, friendship and loyalty do not exist, and I therefore goes on without these, alone. I was intrigued by Esther and Abel because they are complete opposites of him.

"!! Master Cain!! What are you doin-" Isaak exclaimed, interrupting my thoughts. It's always lovely to see Isaak frustrated for his cheeks will be flushed red.

I turned to look at the source of Isaak's frustration and found to my amusement at the scene in front of me.

Master Cain is licking at his feathers.

"… …" Silence reigned high and mighty in the air, as the other members of the Orden turn to look away from Master Cain's sweet, beautiful, pink tongue, coughing to hide their blush and hopefully their lusty M-rated thoughts…

Anyway, as Isaak was trying to stop Master Cain's… scandalous action, I decided to take note of these members… more blackmail materials~~~

"Ack! Cough! Cough!"

"Master Cain, didn't I told you not to lick your feathers anymore? That's what you will get!" Isaak chided gently.

"Ack!"

With Master Cain's last cough, out spit a whitish ball of something from his mouth, it landed somewhere near my feet. I curiously take a look at it.

It's a ball of white feathers…

"You always get feather balls stuck in your throat!" Scolded Isaak.

Oh. Instead of fur balls, we have got feather balls…

This world is insane. There's no doubt about it.

"Anyway, Dietrich, you have an assignment: Go activate the Nuclear Weapons in the New Human Empire, remember to left the empire in full destruction."

I did a respectful bow towards my Master Cain and said, "Yes, my master."

"Oh, before you have to wear this piece of clothing, provided by Isaak. By his definition, it's payback time." Master Cain singsong happily.

A sense of foreboding raises my hackles. I looked up stiffly to find that hideous piece of clothing in Master Cain's hands. Before I can even object, Master Cain threw it at me and shooed me away as he went and attend other matters of great importance to him…

* * *

In the historical records of Rosen Kruez Orden, it was said to be the day with the background of beautiful red roses and bloodshed (where it is caused by the huge amount of blood coming out from the noses of the fellow members). Even though Dietrich left the Orden to go about doing his mission in the New Human Empire and was stopped by Havel and Ion who had been given the information by Lady Catherina. Heavily injured, he escaped to the underground… but the place collapsed… it's unsure of whether he's dead or alive…

However, he was forever remembered with fondness (and nosebleed) by the fellow members of the Rosen Kruez Orden. Dietrich was last seen by the gatekeeper of the Orden (who's salivating and smiling a smile that pedophile like to wear) while he told his tale.

By his account: Dietrich, the Orden's Puppeteer, was wearing the costume given by our wonderful spiritual leader Master Cain and provided by the powerful Magus Isaak-sama, the dress has short sleeves with shoulder puffs. A short and clingy silk dress trimmed with shirred white lace with a revealing neckline. A tiny white apron, shaped like a heart with white lace fringes on the hems attached to the dress. The skirt area of the dress is skillfully pleated. A white frill was worn in the soft reddish-brown hair, a black-and-white feather duster clutched in one hand. Wearing white lace cuffs and collar also help added to Dietrich's sweet innocence look. A sudden gust of wind, the skirt lifted and the lovely white, ruffled knickers and a layered white petticoat worn under the dress were revealed. The ensemble is completed with black fishnet stockings and black high heels which covered the lovely snow-white legs…

In short simple words: A French maid's outfit.

It was also said to be the day that Isaak is finally pinned with another nickname of utmost glory... into the historical records of Rosen Kruez Orden.

The Super Pervert.

(End of chapter 18.)

A/N: I remember someone requesting about Cain licking his feather and another requested for the appearance of the maid's outfit like as in the manga " He Is My Master." thanks for the cute ideas, reviews are always the perfect energy to drive me to write! Hope you like it, even though I had not updated for so long…


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